XS.W74  17 «? 


LIBRARY 

University   of   Califo 


Mrs.   Alderman  Casev. 


—  Frontispiect 


MRS.  ALDERMAN 
CASEY 

By 

Irene  Stoddard  Capwell 

Drawings    by   W.    Herbert    Dunton 


R.    F.    FENNO    &    COMPANY 
1 8   East  Seventeenth    Street,    New  York 


Copyright,   1905 

by 
R.  F.  Fenno  &  Company 


Mri.   Aldirman   Ca 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTBR  FACE 

I.  Mrs.  Casey's  Neighbors  ......................  7 

II.  The  Rise  of  the  Casey  Family  ................  18 

III.  Mrs.  Flanigan  ..............................  29 

IV.  On  the  Front  Stoop  .........................  35 

V.  Mrs.  Casey's  Hired  Girls  ....................  41 

VI.  Mrs.  Casey  on  Lawn  Tennis  ..........  i  ......  52 

VII.  Mrs.  Casey  at  a  Summer  Hotel  ..............  61 

/III.  Mrs.  Casey's  Telephone  .....................  81 

IX.  A  Broken  Engagement  .......................  90 

X.  Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Euchre  Party  ..............  99 

XI.  Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Woman's  Club  ............  112 

XII.  Mrs.  Casey  on  Bloomers  ....................  119 

XIII.  The  Beauty  Doctor  ..........................  124 

XIV.  Mary  Ann's  Lovers  ..........................  144 

XV.  Mary  Ann's  Trousseau  ......................  161 


MRS.  ALDERMAN    CASEY 


MRS.  ALDERMAN  CASEY. 


CHAPTER   I. 

MRS.  CASEY'S  NEIGHBORS. 

MRS.  CASEY  sat  at  the  front  window,  in 
her  best  rocker,  with  her  mending  basket  on 
another  chair  beside  her.  Her  round,  rosy 
face  wore  a  look  of  tranquil  content.  This 
was  the  one  time  of  all  the  week  when  her 
occupation  gave  her  the  pleasing  opportunity 
of  paying  a  little  attention  to  the  affairs  of 
her  neighbors.  Her  post  of  observation  at 
this  particular  window  commanded  a  view 
of  intersecting  streets,  and,  while  the  holes  in 
the  family  hosiery  grew  rapidly  less,  nothing 
that  passed  outside  escaped  the  notice  of 
the  observant  lady  of  the  darning  needle. 

Upstairs,  Mary  Ann  could  be  heard  run 
ning  the  sewing  machine,  and  singing  "  Vio 
lets  "  in  a  clear,  sweet  voice. 

"  'Tis  a  bit  warrum,"  said  Mrs.  Casey, 
aloud  to  herself.  "  I'll  be  openin'  the 

7 


8 


Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 


windy.  I  wondher  where  that  Mickey  does 
be  gahn  wid  the  baby.  Shure  Oi  towld 
him  not  to  be  goin'  aff  the  block !  " 

She  thrust  her  head  out  of  the  window 
and  looked  up  and  down  the  street,  but 
the  recreant  Mickey  was  not  visible. 

"Wait  till  Oi  catch  him!"  she  went 
on,  calmly  resuming  her  rocking  and  the 
reducing  of  a  sizable  hole  in  the  Senior 
Casey's  sock. 

Mary  Ann's  example  inspired  her  to  mel 
ody  and  she  warbled  pensively, 


Oi        am  a     little    gairrl     ahl      tangled     in   luv,    wid 


35 


-*-»- 


>nM*->- 


-!&-•       -S- 


•*-*-*- 


none     to    fale  my  pain,    Oi    havunt   in  the  wurrld  but  the 


I*Z3t 


^f      ^  *        '^.- 

wan      thrue  luv,  And      Jahnny      is    his       na-ame.  And  if 


Oi       doant    chanst      to  foind  him,        Oi'll 


Mrs.  Casey's  Neighbors. 


mourn  quoite    constantlay,      And  'tis    for  the      sa-akes  iv 


you,     Jahnny  dear,    Oi'll    plough  the      raging       sa-ay. 

"  There's  Tim  O'  Shea  jist  goin'  to  his 
wurrk  !  'Tis  a  foine  toime  o'day  he's  takin'. 
He  '11  not  be  kapin'  his  new  job  lahng, 
O'im  thinkin',  the  loafer! 

'  Oi  am  a  little  gairrl  ahl — ' 

"  Who's  that  goin'  into  the  Hinnissey's? 
It  isn't — yis,  it  is — it's  the  landlard.  That's 
foive  toimes  this  month  he's  been  there. 
Shure  they  must  be  behoind  wid  the  rint  and 
no  wondher,  wid  Hinnissey  ahl  the  toime  at 
the  saloon,  bad  luck  to  him  !  There  he 
goes  now,  shloidin'  out  the  back  dure,  the 
ould  omadhoun,  and  lavin'  his  poor  woife  to 
shtand  aff  the  landlard  !  An'  she  washin' 
the  fingers  iv  her  to  the  boane  to  pay  fer 
his  whiskey  !  Yis,  'tis  shtraight  to  the  saloon 
he  does  be  goin' — Poor  Mag  ! 

'  And  'tis  for  the  sa-akes  iv  you,  Jahnny  dear, 
Oill  plough  the  raging  sa-ay  ! ' 


io  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  Will  ye  look  at  that  now !  "  spreading 
out  her  hand  in  the  foot  of  a  boy's  stocking. 
"  Oi  niver  sane  the  loike  iv  the  howls  Patsy 
does  be  wearin'  in  his  stockuns !  Two, 
t'ree,  four,  foive — and  aitch  wan  bigger 
than  ahl  the  rist ! 

'  Oi  havunt  in  the  wurrld  but  the  wan  thrue  luv, 
And  Jahnny — ' 

"  Phwat's  the  bakery  waggin  doin'  nixt 
dure  ?  Some  wan  must  be  goin'  to  have  a 
parrthy !  Will  it  be  the  O'Briens  or  the 
Hogans  Oi  wondher  ?  It  can't  be  the 
O'Gradys  fer  the  ould  wumman's  in  bid  wid 
roomatiz,  an' Jimmy's  in  jail  ferfoightin'  the 
Dutchman  ferninst  the  grocery.  Ca-akes ! 
Three  iv  thim  !  Howly  shmoke  !  Chock- 
lit  and  cokynut  an'  fruit  ca-ake  it  looks 
loike  !  Who  can  it  be  ?  Will  they  be  havin' 
oice  crame  to  go  wid  thim?  Shure!  There's 
a  frayzer  in  the  waggin.  There  cooms 
the  b'y  back  to  fetch  it.  No !  They're 
dhroivin'  aff  widout  lavin*  anny.  That's 
quare !  What'll  they  be  atin'  wid  all  that 
ca-ake?  Tay,  Oi  wondher,  or  limminade  or 
beer  may  be.  Will  it  be  afthernoon  or 
noight !  If  that  imp  iv  a  Mickey  wud  shtay 
phwere  he  was  wanted,  Oi  cud  sind  him 
to  ax  the  Hogan's  kids. 


Mrs.  Casey's  Neighbors.          n 

41  There  goes  Katie  Murphy  wid  a  new 
Shpring  hat  an,  the  throllop  !  Phvvat's  she 
waitin'  fer,  shtandin'  there  an  the  earner, 
lookin'  boath  ways  ?  Tis  some  mischief 
she's  up  to,  Oi'll  lay.  Aha!  Oi  t'ought 
so !  Mary  Ann !  Luk  out  the  windy ! 
Who's  the  jude  wid  the  hoigh  hat  that's 
shpakin'  to  Katie  Murphy  ?  Phwat's  that  ? 
The  barkaper  at  Crogan's  ?  Faith,  he  luks 
ut.  It's  no  fit  company  he  is  fer  a  daycint 
gairrl  Oi'll  be  bound.  There  they  go  up 
the  shtrate — 

"  There's  that  little  lame  choild  agin,  poor 
t'ing !  She  looks  that  sick  an'  shtarved. 
Mary  Ann  !  Go  fetch  that  lame  choild  to 
the  kitchun  and  fade  her  fer  wanst  in  her 
loife.  She  does  be  lookin'  that  dilikit ! 

"  The  fer  rint  soign's  gahn  from  the  house 
the  Mullaly's  moved  from.  Oi  wondher  is 
it  rinted.  Shure  'twas  no  loss  to  the  neigh 
borhood  phwin  thim  Mullalys  wint !  Sich 
a  doin's  as  they  kipt  up  !  Cyarrd  parthies 
an'  tays  an'  dances  an'  picnics  an'  boogy 
roides !  Thim  gairrls  was  an  the  go  ivery 
wa-akin'  minnut,  an'  a  good  manny  that 
should  have  bin  shlapin*  wans!  They  say 
the  ould  man  do  be  makin'  a  poile  iv  money 
wid  a  harrse  race  a  phwoile  ago.  Faith  he'll 


12  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

nade  ut,  wid  his  woife  wearin'  doimins  as  big 
as  pays,  and  himself  boyin'  wan  iv  thim 
naughtymobles,  to  shcare  the  loife  out  iv 
daycint  quoit  payple  that  injys  sittin'  out  an 
the  pavemint  iv  a  warrum  avenin'.  Tis 
too  foine  they  were  fer  this  shtrate  an'  it's 
glad  Oi  am  they're  gahn.  Mary  Ann  was 
gittin'  that  onaisy,  wid  wahntin'  drisses  that 
was  comin'  aff  her  at  the  top  an'  woipin* 
up  the  flure  at  the  fate,  loike  Judy  Mallaly  ! 

Oi  am  a  little  gairrl  ahl  tangled  in  luv, 

Wid  none  to  fale  moy  pain, 
Oi  havunt  in  the  wurr — ' 

"Be  the  powers!  Phwat's  that!  It 
shure  do  be  a  move  waggin  shtoppin'  at  the 
Mullaly  house !  Mary  Ann  !  Ma-ary  A-n-n  ! 
There's  some  wan  movin'  in  at  the  Mullaly's  ! 
Coom  quick  !  There's  another  load  coomin' 
up  the  shtrate  !  Jahnny!"to  a  small  boy 
who  entered  the  room  at  that  moment, 
"  Roon  over  to  the  grocery  an'  ax  Mrs.  Flynn 
does  she  be  knowin'  who  ut  is  movin'  in  to 
the  Mullaly  house !  An'  if  ye  see  Mickey 
till  him  Oi'll  not  lave  a  whole  bo-ane  to  him 
fer  goin'  aff  the  block  !  Grane  furnitoor  wid 
flowers  an  ut !  That  must  be  fer  the 
paarlor.  'Tis  not  so  foine  as  the  Mullaly's, 
but  it'll  do.  Howly  Saints !  There's  a 


Mrs.  Casey's  Neighbors.          13 

brass  bid  !  Aiven  the  Mullalys  didn't  have 
no  brass  bid  !  An'  a  brass  crib  too !  Wid 
lace  curtains  to  ut  !  Aw,  did  ye  iver  see 
the  loike !  That's  a  foine  lookin'-glass ! 
Phvvoy  doan't  Jahnny  coom  back  ?  Oh, 
here  ye  arre  !  Well,  who  is  ut  ?  Some  pay- 
pie  named  Fogarty,  did  ye  say  ?  The  only 
Fogartys  Oi  know  arre  the  Dinnis  Fogartys 
that  lived  ferninst  us  in  the  tinimint  house 
befoor  we  moved  here,  but  it  cuddent  be 
thim,  fer  they  was  that  poor  the  childher 
hadn't  shoes  to  their  fate,  lit  alone  brass 
cribs. 

"  Begorra  !  D'  ye  moind  the  ile  paintin' ! 
Thim's  foine  pigs,  barrin'  Oi  nivver  sane 
anny  purrple  wans  befoor  !  If  Oi  cud  have 
a  pitcher  iv  the  pig  Oi  lift  behoind  me  in  the 
ould  counthry  (an*  manny's  the  toime  Oi'd 
have  loiked  that  sa-ame)  'twud  be  jist  black 
an'  phwoite  Oi'd  have  ut,  wid  plinty  iv  the 
blissid  sile  iv  ould  Oirland  shprid  over  him 
to  tone  him  down,  an'  a  bit  iv  the  ould  sod 
fer  a  background.  Oi  want  no  purrple  pigs, 
aiven  if  they  do  be  the  latest  shtoyle. 

"  That's  a  threemindous  big  sofy  they're 
takin'  in !  A  day vinpoort  is  ut  !  Shure  Oi 
suppose  a  sofy  wid  anny  other  na-ame  wud 
sit  as  aisy.  An'  phwat  d'ye  call  the  glass 


14  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

cupboard?  A  cabbynit,  is  ut ?  Fertokape 
the  bricky  brack  in,  ye  say  !  Moy !  Phwat 
shtoyle !  The  mantel-pace  '11  do  fer  the 
loikes  iv  me.  An'  will  ye  luk  at  the 
muggany  furnitoor  !  Bureaus  an'  wash- 
shtands  an* — that  must  be  the  wumman 
hersilf  goin'  up  the  shtips  now  !  Oi  wish 
she'd  turrn  around  till  Oi'd  be  gettin'  a  look 
at  the  fa-ace  iv  her.  Tis  a  foine  coat  she 
has  an,  if  ye  loike  thim  noight  shurrt  coats — 
Oi  doan't.  There !  She's  lukin  this  way 
now !  She  luks  moighty  loike — but  it 
cuddent  be — Howly  Saints — it  is  ! — shure  it 
is! — Mary  Fogarty  as  Oi'm  a  sober  wumman  ! 
Hurry  oop,  Mary  Ann,  and  bring  the  nevv. 
mony  bottle  and  howld  me  phoile  Oi  t'rows  a 
fit  !  Mary  Fogarty  wid  a  brass  bid  an'  rale 
muggany  furnitoor !  an'  a  noight  shurrt 
coat ! !  'Tis  that  wake  Oi  am  Oi'll  not  be 
shlapin*  this  noight  !  D'ye  moindthe  dinky 
gowld  chair  goin'  in  !  Faith,  Oi  mind  the  time 
phwin  the  ind  iv  a  wash  tub  was  an  aisy  sate, 
an'  a  shtraw  tick  an'  the  flure  foornished  the 
bid  room  wid  looxury,  an'  wan  bid  room  an* 
the  kitchun  did  fer  the  fam'ly.  Now  'tis  a 
tin  room  brick  house,  wid  a  foornis  in  win- 
ther  an'  scranes  an*  armings  in  soomer,  an'  a 
bath  room !  Howly  snakes  !  but  it  bates 


Mrs.  Casey's  Neighbors.          15 

the  divil !  Phwat's  that !  A  nurse  gairrl 
cooni  wid  a  ba-aby  in  a  gran'  boogy  wid  a 
lace  umbrelly  to  ut !  an'  pink  ribbins  !  An* 
the  nurse  gairrl  wid  a  cap  an'  phwoite  apron  ! 
Howld  me,  Mary  Ann,  I  fale  another  fit 


coomin 


i 


"  That  must  be  the  other  choild  that  was 
the  ba-aby  phwin  Oi  knew  thim  !  Luk  at 
her  now  will  yees !  Oi  t'ink  'tis  ondaycint  ! 
A  big  gairrl  loike  that  wid  phwoite  stockuns 
an*  bare  legs  !  'Tis  a  half  yarrd  iv  knees  that 
do  be  showin'  below  the  sharrt  skurrts  iv 
her  !  An'  luk  at  the  b'y  !  'Twill  not  be  lang 
befoor  Mickey  and  Jahnny  '11  be  shpilin' 
the  foine  clothes  iv  him  !  Phwere  in  the 
wurrld  cud  Dinnis  Fogarty  have  raised 
the  money  fer  the  loikes  iv  this?  Aw,  wirra, 
wirra  !  but  it's  a  quare  wurrld  !  Some  goes 
up  an*  some  goes  down  !  Shure  the  hivvens 
bees  fallin'  down  an  me !  Mary  Fogarty 
wid  a  brass  bid  an  a  dure  mat  hat  an'  a 
noight  shurrt  coat  !  An'  she  that  used  to 
come  borryin'  an  ould  shawl  iv  me  that  she 
moightn't  be  goin'  to  Mass  in  her  sha-ape  ! 

"  Is  that  a  doinin'  table  they're  takin' 
in  now  ?  Fer  payple  that's  ated  widout 
wan  fer  the  moast  iv  their  loives  'tis  a  gran' 
big  shiney  wan !  Oi  suppose  they  has  finger 


16  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

bowls  to  dhrink  out  iv  an'  a  maid  to  wait  an 
thim,  an'  limmins  in  their  tay  !  Look  at  the 
lither  chairs !  Phwat's  the  waggin  that's 
shtoppin'  there  now !  Can  ye  see  ?  The 
Tillyphoan  Company,  did  ye  say?  Glory 
to  goodniss !  Phwat  nixt !  The  Fogar- 
tys  wid  a  tillyphoan  !  Isn't  that  a  pi- 
anny  waggin?  Howly  St.  Pathrick  !  Who'll 
be  playin'  ut?  It  must  be  the  ouldest 
gairrl,  Annie — Oi  t'ink  her  na-ame  was. 
She  must  be  groan  be  this  toime.  There 
goes  Mrs.  Flanigan  !  Howld  an  a  minnut 
Mrs.  Flanigan !  Do  ye  know  the  Fogartys 
that's  movin'  in  yander  ?  Phwere  did  they 
git  the  money  to  pit  an  sich  shtoyle  ? 
Phwat !  Annie  playin'  voodyville  at  the 
t'eatre  !  That's  it,  is  ut  ?  Well,  Oi  knew 
'twas  nivver  Dinnis  Fogarty  that  made  ut ! 
But  who'd  ivver  t'ink  that  the  dirrthy  little 
dhrab  that  used  to  sit  an  the  currb  shtone 
nurrsin'  the  baby  wud  be  play  actin'  in  a 
t'eatre  !  Singin'  an"  dancin'  is  she  !  Great 
da-ay  ! 

"  There  cooms  the  grocery  waggin  an'  the 
bootcher  from  the  nixt  carrner  to  git  their 
thrade  alriddy  !  An'  there's  Timminses' 
millik  waggin  !  Shure  they  shan't  take 
millik  iv  that  thafe  iv  the  wurrld  if  Bridget 


Mrs.  Casey's  Neighbors.          17 

Casey  can  shtop  ut.  Trun  down  me  shawl 
quick,  Mary  Ann,  till  Oi  be  goin'  over  an' 
till  thim  Canty's  millik  is  the  only  millik 
that's  fitten  fer  a  daycint  Christian  to  dhrink  ! 
If  Oi'm  not  back  in  foiveminnuts,  pit  an  the 
praties  fer  dinner.  Timmins  indade  !  " 


CHAPTER    II. 

THE   RISE   OF   THE   CASEY   FAMILY. 

WHEN  Michael  Casey  brought  his  young 
wife  to  America,  and,  a  little  later,  to  Chicago, 
the  new  city  was  rising  on  the  ruins  left  by 
the  great  fire  of '71,  and  there  was  work  in 
plenty.  Michael  was  a  stone  mason,  and  a 
good  one.  More  than  that,  he  was  strong, 
quick  and  intelligent,  a  hard  worker  and  am 
bitious. 

The  contractor  who  employed  him — an 
Irishman  himself — took  a  liking  to  his  frank- 
faced  young  countryman  and  kept  watch  of 
him.  In  time  he  was  made  foreman.  Before 
that,  however,  he  had  managed,  with  Bridget's 
help,  to  put  aside  a  little  money.  With  bet 
ter  pay,  he  added  to  the  small  hoard,  and 
then  came  the  chance  to  invest  in  a  bit  of 
suburban  property,  on  which  he  thought 
to  build  a  cottage  sometime.  A  sudden 
"  boom  "  in  real  estate  in  this  particular  sub 
urb  changed  his  plans,  however.  He  sold 
out  at  a  good  profit  and  bought  a  cheaper 
18 


The  Rise  of  the  Casey  Family.     19 

lot,  which,  in  its  turn,  increased  in  value  and 
was  sold.  His  friend  and  employer,  John 
Gilhooley,  the  contractor,  needing  a  little 
ready  money  at  this  time,  offered  Michael  a 
partnership,  which  was  promptly  accepted. 

They  had  lived  at  first  in  a  very  humble 
neighborhood,  in  a  tenement  house  con 
taining  a  motley  collection  of  people  of  many 
nationalities  including  their  own.  Two 
rooms  were  sufficient  for  them  then.  After 
a  time,  as  their  family  increased,  they  added 
two  more. 

It  spoke  well  for  Bridget's  quality  that  these 
rooms  were  always  an  object  lesson  in  neat 
ness  to  her  generally  shiftless  and  untidy 
neighbors.  She  was  not  only  thrifty  and 
tidy,  but  took  a  warm  interest  in  life  and  all 
that  concerned  the  busy  swarm  about  her, 
having  an  open  hand  to  help  and  a  ready  wit 
to  counsel.  So  her  little  home  became  a 
sort  of  social  center,  answering  all  the  pur 
poses  of  day  nursery  for  the  children  of 
mothers  who  could  not  otherwise  have  gone 
out  to  work,  an  informal  court  for  the  ar 
bitration  of  family  quarrels,  an  unlicensed 
pawnshop  where  at  times  small  loans  might 
be  obtained  without  interest,  to  tide  some 
unfortunate  over  a  temporary  difficulty  ;  and 


2O  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

a  storehouse  where  might  be  found  many 
of  those  things  sought  after  by  the  chronic 
borrower,  from  a  " spoonfle  iv  tay,"  or  "a 
dhrop  iv  millik  if  ye  plaze,  mum,"  to  Brid 
get's  best  bonnet  for  a  wake  or  a  wedding. 

While  a  shrewd  observer  and  keen  judge  of 
her  kind,  Mrs.  Casey  was  an  odd  mixture  of 
simplicity  and  astuteness,  pugnacity  and 
kindliness,  good  sense  and  eccentricity. 

Though  gladly  profiting  by  her  advice 
and  assistance,  the  less  worthy  of  her  bene 
ficiaries  often  found  these  services  attended 
by  verbal  castigation  conducive  to  whole 
some  fear  of  her  disapproval. 

Her  neighbors  did  not  wait  until  they 
were  in  trouble,  however,  to  seek  her  cheer 
ful  society.  Her  clean,  comfortable  rooms 
were  the  resort  of  whoever  could  spare  a 
moment  from  work,  to  sit  down  for  a  brief 
social  chat.  Mrs.  Casey's  popularity  at  such 
times  was  great.  She  was  a  capital  story 
teller  and  liked  nothing  better  than  an  au 
dience.  The  talk,  at  first  general,  would 
gradually  become  so  dominated  by  the  force 
ful  personality  of  the  hostess  that  it  would 
take  the  form  of  a  monologue  by  her,  inter 
spersed  with  exclamatory  asides  such  as, 
"  Thrue  fer  ye,  Mrs.  Casey,  darlint !  "  "  Ach, 


The  Rise  of  the  Casey  Family.    21 

Himmel !  "  "  D'ye  moind  that  now  !  "  and 
the  like,  from  her  open-mouthed  listeners. 
Her  tales  and  experiences  formed  the  basis, 
however,  for  plenty  of  garrulity  on  the  part 
of  these  same  listeners  when  among  them 
selves,  and  the  various  points  were  rehearsed 
volubly,  losing  nothing  in  the  process. 

With  the  rising  fortunes  of  the  Caseys 
came  the  move  to  a  less  crowded  and  more 
attractive  locality.  The  rapidly  growing 
family  now  had  a  neat  two-story  frame-house 
to  themselves — a  state  of  grandeur  dwelt 
upon  with  unlimited  embellishments  by  their 
old  neighbors,  most  of  whom  took  occasion 
to  visit  them  at  an  early  date. 

"  Have  ye  been  to  the  Caseys'  yet,  Mrs. 
Rosenstein  ?  "  Mrs.  O'Toole  would  call  over 
the  bannisters  to  the  "  Jew  lady  "  on  the 
floor  below. 

"  No,  but  I  think  it  iss  to-day  I  go.  Mine 
Sadie,  she  miss  to  play  mit  Mary  Ann.  It 
iss  fine  house,  yes?" 

"  Aw,  shure  !  'Tis  illigint  it  is  !  Wid  a 
be-ewtifle  cyarpit  in  the  pa-arlor,  an'  ra-ale 
Nottigum  la-ace  currtains !  An'  a  table  t'  ate 
aff  iv  that  ye  can  opin  in  the  middle  an'  pit 
in  moare  boards  phwin  yez  do  be  havin' 
coompany  !  'Tis  gra-ate  !  " 


22  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  Yes,  I  seen  tables  like  dose  by  mine 
Abraham's  store  alretty  !  "  (Mr.  Rosenstein 
was  a  dealer  in  second-hand  furniture)  "  I 
knowed  a  lady  vonce,  vat  had  all  times  tables 
like  dose,  und— 

"  An*  phwat  d'ye  t'ink  !  The  Caseys  bees 
afther  gettin'  a  whole  dozen  iv  ra-ale  silver 
plated  farrks  an'  the  sa-ame  iv  shpoons,  an'  a 
lot  iv  new  choiny  dishes — 

"  An'  did  ye  moind  the  foine  new  cook 
shtove,  an'  the  new  tins,  Mrs.  O'Toole?" 
broke  in  Mrs.  Flaherty  from  across  the 
landing. 

"  I  knowed  a  lady  vonce — "  began  Mrs. 
Rosenstein  again,  but  the  affairs  of  her 
former  acquaintance  could  not  compete  in 
interest  with  those  of  Mrs.  Casey,  and  she 
was  not  allowed  to  proceed. 

"  Did  ye  fale  the  tow'ls,  Mrs.  Flaherty? 
'Tis  ra-ale  linnun  they  arre !  " 

"  Yis,  an'  the  table  clot's  too  !  Faix  the 
Caseys  do  be  gra-and  payple.  'Tis  the 
illigint  ant-sisthers  they  bees  after  havin*  in 
the  ould  coonthry." 

"  Ya-as,  vair  nice-a  peoples,"  concurred 
Mrs.  Barillo  of  the  third  floor  back,  joining 
the  group.  "  Ze  Senora  Casee  she  tella  mea 
dey  buy  piano  banby,  maka  de  sweet  museek ! 


The  Rise  of  the  Casey  Family.    23 

Mairee  Anna  she  tease    her    poppa !     Vair 
fonda  de  museek  !  " 

This  report,  though  hardly  credited  at 
first,  proved  true,  and  was  the  crowning 
touch  to  the  glory  of  the  transplanted  Caseys. 
Mary  Ann  was  not  only  an  atonishingly 
pretty  and  winning  little  damsel,  but  pos 
sessed  of  unusual  mental  quickness.  Her 
reports  from  school  were  of  such  uniform 
excellence  as  to  arouse  in  the  breast  of  her 
proud  mamma  feelings  of  mingled  admira 
tion  and  awe.  As  for  Michael,  his  pride  in 
his  promising  offspring,  and  his  ambitions 
for  her  future  were  commensurate  with  the 
possibilities  of  this  new  country,  where  the 
humblest  boy  may  hope  to  be  president,  and 
the  humblest  girl  the  first  lady  in  the  land. 
The  Casey  boys  (there  were  three  of  them 
then,  one  older  and  two  younger  than  Mary 
Ann)  had  not,  so  far,  given  evidence  of 
brilliancy  of  any  kind,  unless  it  might  be  an 
amazing  talent  for  getting  into  mischief;  a 
talent  which  was  only  prevented  from  de 
veloping  into  genius  by  a  vigilant  maternal 
eye  and  a  prompt  and  effective  maternal 
hand.  But  Mary  Ann  !  She  was  something 
out  of  the  ordinary  and  must  be  favored 
accordingly. 


24  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

Mary  Ann's  love  for  music  was  marked, 
even  as  a  tiny  mite,  when,  scarce  able  to 
balance  herself,  she  would  keep  perfect  time, 
with  voice  and  foot,  to  the  music  of  the 
street  piano,  amid  the  group  of  children 
dancing  and  prancing  on  the  sidewalk.  Later 
on,  in  the  musical  exercises  at  school,  hers 
was  easily  the  sweetest  voice  and  the  truest 
ear.  One  day  she  heard  her  teacher  say  to 
the  principal,  "That  child  is  a  natural  musi 
cian.  She  ought  to  have  lessons."  That 
night  Mary  Ann  astonished  her  parents  by 
announcing  that  she  had  chosen  her  profes 
sion  ;  that  she  intended  to  be  a  music  teacher ! 

"  Did  ye  iver  hear  the  loike  !  "  ejaculated 
Mrs.  Casey. 

"  Oi'm  thinkin'  she  moight  do  worse,"  was 
the  father's  comment,  as  he  exchanged  admir 
ing  glances  with  his  wife. 

"  And  will  you  buy  a  piano  for  me,  pa  ? 
and  let  me  take  lessons?  Teacher  says  I 
ought  to." 

"  Wan  iv  thim  days,  may  be !  "  assented 
the  indulgent  parent,  and  received  a  stran 
gling  hug  by  way  of  payment  for  the  promise. 

Thereafter,  a  worn  out  coffee-pot  on  a  high 
shelf  in  the  kitchen  was  made  the  hiding- 
place  of  a  new  hoarding.  This  was  found  to 


The  Rise  of  the  Casey  Family.    25 

be  sufficient,  a  year  or  so  after  the  removal, 
to  make  a  substantial  first  payment  on  the 
coveted  piano,  and  Mary  Ann's  delight  was 
boundless. 

The  street  that  the  Caseys  found  themselves 
in  was  of  a  type  very  common  a  few  years 
ago  in  Chicago,  but  now  fast  disappearing. 
The  new  building  laws  forbade  frame  struc 
tures,  but  previous  to  the  fire  there  had  been 
nothing  else  in  this  immediate  vicinity  and 
most  of  these  still  stood  ;  some  of  them,  like 
the  Casey  home,  in  good  repair,  and  a  more 
or  less  perceptible  state  of  paint  ;  others — 
though  these  were  in  the  minority — dingy, 
one  or  two-story  dwellings  of  a  uniform 
smoke  color  and  in  various  stages  of  dilapida 
tion.  Between  these,  at  intervals,  were  vacant 
lots,  usually  below  the  grade  of  the  sidewalk, 
the  repositories  of  tin  cans,  ashes  and  much 
other  refuse,  and  the  playgrounds  of  the 
children  of  the  neighborhood.  At  the  street 
corners  were  usually  to  be  found  the  ubiqui 
tous  saloon,  a  small  grocery  or  meat  market, 
and  sometimes  a  little  notion  store,  bakery 
or  cigar  store.  Then,  as  now,  however, 
growth  was  rapid,  if  not  radical,  in  restless 
Chicago.  The  vacant  lots  were  seized  upon 
by  enterprising  builders,  and  soon  smart  brick 


26  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

houses,  detached  or  in  rows,  and  cheaply 
built  "  flat "  buildings  elbowed  the  grimy 
cottages,  causing  them  to  take  on  an  appear 
ance  of  still  greater  dejection.  Now  and  then 
one,  overcome  by  humiliation,  took  to  itself 
wheels  and  was  dragged  slowly  away,  to  be 
dumped,  no  one  took  the  trouble  to  inquire 
where.  The  particular  locality  where  the 
Caseys  lived  was  quite  an  Irish  colony,  fully 
two  thirds  of  the  dwellers  there  being  of  that 
nationality.  The  Caseys  had  been  attracted 
to  it  for  that  reason.  In  this  congenial  neigh 
borhood,  both  Michael  and  Bridget  soon 
made  themselves  as  popular  as  in  the  old 
home,  though  in  a  somewhat  different  way, 
their  new  neighbors,  as  a  rule,  being  much 
more  prosperous  and  thrifty  than  the  old, 
and  so  meeting  them  more  upon  their  own 
level. 

Michael  now  came  to  take  an  active  interest 
in  ward  politics.  He  was  not  only  a  ready 
speaker,  with  considerable  native  eloquence 
and  wit,  but,  in  practical  matters,  showed 
a  shrewd  business  sense  and  grasp  that 
gained  him  the  respect  of  his  fellows.  It 
was  not  surprising,  then,  that  he  came,  after 
a  few  years,  to  be  the  choice  of  his  ward  for 
alderman,  and  was  now  discharging  the 


The  Rise  of  the  Casey  Family.    27 

duties  of  that  office  to  the  satisfaction  of 
his  constituents.  It  is  not  necessary  to  go 
into  detail  as  to  the  effect  upon  Mr.  Casey's 
character  of  a  political  career,  or  to  state 
that  he  proved  absolutely  immune  from  all 
of  the  moral  diseases  that  are  liable  to  at 
tack  men  under  such  responsibilities.  It 
may  safely  be  said,  however,  that  such  im 
munity  as  he  did  evince  was  largely  due  to 
the  staunch  support  of  his  wife,  her  faith 
and  pride  in  him  (which  did  not  prevent  her 
from  berating  him  roundly  on  occasion), 
and  her  unwavering  standards  of  morality. 

As  for  Mrs.  Casey  herself,  the  years  had 
wrought  little  change  in  her,  comparatively. 
She  was  still  possessed  of  a  wholesome 
comeliness,  in  spite  of  the  fact  that  the 
youthful  contour  of  face  and  figure  had 
given  place  to  a  generous  measure  of  ma 
tronly  rotundity,  and  that  her  complexion 
had  lost  the  delicacy  of  earlier  years  and 
was  inclined  to  be  rather  more  florid  than 
was  strictly  becoming.  Slow  to  change  her 
habits,  she  still  clung  to  the  rich  dialect  of 
her  youth,  in  spite  of  the  fact  that  Michael 
had  almost  lost  his,  in  contact  with  the 
outer  world,  and  that  Mary  Ann  strove 
vainly  to  teach  her  mother  new  modes  of 


28  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

speech.  The  old  accents  tripped  easily  to 
her  tongue  and  would  not  be  displaced,  es 
pecially  when  she  was  in  the  full  flow  of 
narrative  or  exhortation.  Proud  as  she  was 
of  her  lord's  advancement,  she  was  inclined, 
personally,  to  take  but  little  advantage  of  it, 
preferring  simple  ways  of  living  to  anything 
that  savored  of  "  shtoyle."  Indeed,  it  was 
owing  to  Mary  Ann,  seconded  by  "  Pa," 
that  the  Casey  home  and  the  wearing  ap 
parel  of  its  inmates  was  kept  passably  up  to 
date.  There  were  now  two  more  little  peo 
ple  in  the  household,  making  six  in  all, 
Larry,  Mary  Ann,  Patsy,  Mickey  and  Johnny 
having  been  followed  by  Baby  Nora,  now 
two  years  old. 


CHAPTER  III. 

MRS.    FLANIGAN. 

"  How  much  for  the  new  petaties,  Mrs. 
Flynn  ?  " 

"  Fifty  cints  a  peck,  Mrs.  Casey,  this  marr- 
nin'.  They  do  be  coomin'  down  a  bit." 

"  Huh  !  Coomin'  down  is  ut  ?  Bedad, 
ye'll  still  nade  a  hookin'  ladder  t'  rachethim  ! 
Sind  me  a  peck  iv  ould  wans.  An'  a  coople 
o'  boonches  iv  thim  grane  inyins.  Shure, 
they  do  be  moighty  ta-asty  this  toime  iv 
year." 

"  They  arre  that,  Mrs.  Casey,"  assented 
Mrs.  Flynn.  "  There's  nothin'  betther  fer 
what  ails  ye.  Now,  what  ilse?  " 

"  Howld  an  till  Oi  see O  yis,  a  pound 

iv  chaze,  an'  a  bit  iv  salt  porrk Aw  !  is 

ut  yersilf,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ?  " 

"  All  that's  lift  iv  me,  Mrs.  Casey  darlint ! 
Marrnin',  Mrs.  Flynn  ! "  and  Mrs.  Flanigan 
dropped  heavily  on  to  the  one  seat  the 
small  grocery  afforded,  a  backless  wooden 
chair  near  the  door,  from  which  Mrs.  Flynn 
2Q 


3o  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

was  wont  to  survey  the  outer  world  at  odd 
moments  when  trade  was  dull. 

"  Phwoy  !  Phwat's  ailin'  ye?"  demanded 
both  at  once,  exchanging  glances  and  head 
shakings  over  the  top  of  Mrs.  Flanigan's 
ancient  black  bonnet,  and  searching  her  face 
for  possible  bruises.  The  head  of  the  house 
of  Flanigan  was  known  to  possess  an  unre 
strained  thirst,  and,  on  one  or  two  occasions 
when  the  gratification  of  the  same  had  been 
more  than  usually  copious,  to  have  gone  on 
the  warpath  to  the  detriment  of  the  features 
of  his  not  too  submissive  spouse.  There 
was  no  evidence  of  any  such  encounter  hav 
ing  taken  place,  however,  but  instead,  indi 
cations  of  an  excitement  not  wholly  painful. 

"  Didn't  yez  .  hear  iv  the  burrglary  ?  " 
asked  Mrs.  Flanigan. 

"  Burrglary  !  Millia  murrther  !  " 

"  Phwin  ?     Phwere  ?  " 

"  At  the  O'Sheas',  yistherda-ay,  in  broad 
dayloight ! " 

"  Great  da-ay  !  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Casey. 

"  Yis  !  They  got  in  at  the  back,  phwin 
the  fam'ly  was  ahl  gahn  out,  an'  they  tuck 
ivery  t'ing  they  cud  lay  their  two  hands  an  !  " 

"  Howly  shmoke !  "  gasped  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  They   tuck   twinty   dallers   in    bills   an' 


Mrs.  Flanigan.  31 

Misther  O'Shea's  gowld  watch  an'  Mrs. 
O'Shea's  gowld  watch  an'  Maggie's  gowld 
watch  an'  Mrs.  O'Shea's  bist  black  silk  driss 
an'  Maggie's  new  blue  silk  driss  an'  Misther 
O'Shea's  new  overcoat,  an'  two  dozen  iv 
silver  spoons,  an' " 

"  Aw  gwan  ! "  interrupted  Mrs.  Casey, 
derisively. 

"  Indade  an'  indade,  'tis  God's  troot'  Oi'm 
tillin'  yez,  Mrs.  Casey !  An*  they  tuk  a 
dozen  an'  a  half  iv  silver  farrks,  an'  two  cut 
glass  dishes,  an'  Maggie's  new  silk  pitticoat, 
an'  her  two  foine  whoite  pitticoats,  an'  her 
six  walkin'-out  pitticoats " 

"  Did  she  have  ahl  thim  ? "  asked  the 
astonished  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Shure !  Twas  Maggie  hersilf  towld  me 
so  this  marrnin' !  " 

"  Yis,  Mrs.  Flynn,  an'  'tis  not  the  loikes 
iv  Maggie  O'Shea  that  wud  be  roonin'  the 
rippyta-ashin  iv  the  fam'ly  fer  anny  little 
t'ing  loike  the  troot' ! "  corroborated  Mrs. 
Casey  with  a  wink.  "  An'  phwin  ye  coom 
to  that,"  she  went  on,  "  if  ye  do  be  tillin'  a 
loy  ye  may  as  well  till  a  big  wan." 

"  Bedad  !  Tis  no  loy  at  ahl  at  ahl ! "  pro. 
tested  Mrs.  Flanigan  with  some  warmth, 
"  Shure  Oi'm  knowin'  to  ut  mesilf  !  " 


32  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"To  phwat?" 

"  To  the  burrglary  !  Oi  was  sittin'  in  me 
front  windy  yistherda-ay  afthernoon,  about 
t'ree  o'clock  it  was,  an'  Oi  sane  an  oogly 
thramp  goin'  boy,  an'  he  was  walkin'  shlow 
loike  an'  lukin'  up  at  the  house,  an'  he  shtared 
up  at  the  windies,  an'  Oi  siz  to  mesilf,  '  Ye're 
a  tough  lukin'  raskil !  Oi'd  not  loike  to  be 
matin'  ye  iv  a  darrk  noight,'  Oi  siz.  An' 
phwin  Maggie  towld  me  iv  the  burrglary 
this  marrnin'  Oi  was  that  wake  Oi  near 
dhrapped  in  me  thracks,  an*  Oi'm  not  oaver 
it  yit !  To  think  iv  me  bein'  that  near  to  a 
bloody  burrglar ! " 

Mrs.  Flynn  rolled  her  eyes  in  horror  at 
the  situation,  but  Mrs.  Casey  sniffed  incred 
ulously. 

"  'Tis  not  the  burrglar  Oi'm  misdoubtin','' 
said  she,  "  though  Oi'd  hate  to  convict  the 
man  on  that  ividince.  'Tis  the  t'ings  he  was 
afther  takin'.  The  O'Sheas  niver  had  a  tin 
watch  betwane  thim,  lit  aloane  t'ree  gowld 
wans !  Twinty  dallers  in  bills  wud  niver 
shtay  lahng  enough  in  the  house  t'  git 
shtolen,  an'  if  they  iverhad  anny  silver  'twas 
soaked  lahng  ago.  They  do  be  havin'  quoite 
a  bit  iv  broken  glass  but  no  cut  that  iver  Oi 
sane;  an' as  fer  pitticoats !  Huh!  Maggie 


Katie    Murphy. 


J2. 


Mrs.  Flanigan.  33 

O'Shea  does  be  goin'  to  bid  phwoile  the  wan 
does  be  washed,  though  she's  not  throublin' 
hersilf  that  way  ahftin.  Six  walkin'-out  pit- 
ticoats  indade !  Begorra !  Oi  know  thim 
O'Sheas !  Sorra  a  wan  iv  thim  will  do  a 
lick  iv  wurrk  so  lahng  as  they  can  borry  a 
cint  !  Oi've  had  d'alin's  wid  thim  !  " 

"  Thrue  fer  ye,  Mrs.  Casey  !  "  testified  Mrs. 
Flynn.  "  'Tis  shmall  paymint  we  iver  got 
fr'm  thim,  though  they  do  be  thradin*  here 
fer  years." 

"  Phwoy  do  yez  lave  thim  have  anny- 
t'ing?" 

"  Aw,  'tis  harrd  to  turrn  thim  down," 
replied  easy-going  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Well,  'tis  a  shame,  wid  thim  ahl  in  good 
healt'  an'  him  wid  a  good  thrade,  if  he'd 
wurrk  at  ut.  Oi've  no  payshinse  wid  thim. 
Good  day  to  yez  !  Oi  must  run  hoame  an* 
cha-ase  the  b'ys  ahf  to  school.  Shtop  boy 
as  ye' re  goin'  an  back,  Mrs.  Flanigan." 

"  Maybe  Oi  will  fer  a  minnut,  Mrs.  Casey. 
Shure  her  barrk  was  iver  wurrse  th'n  her 
boite,"  continued  Mrs.  Flanigan,  after  Mrs. 
Casey  had  gone.  "  Ye  wudn't  t'ink,  t'  hear 
her  goin'  an,  that  she'd  nurrsed  Mrs.  O'Shea 
t'roo  two  fits  iv  sickniss,  an'  paid  the  rint  fer 
thim  toime  an'  agin  phwin  they  wud  have 
3 


34  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

been  trim  into  the  shtrate  ilse.  Casey's 
given  O'Shea  wurrk  too,  manny's  the  toime, 
but  he  do  be  too  lazy  to  kape  a  job." 

"  Aw  yis  !  'Tis  the  grand  neighbor  Mrs. 
Casey  alwa-ays  was  !  Ivery  wan  knows  the 
big  hairrt  iv  her.  Shmall  blame  to  her  fer 
shpakin'  her  moind  about  thim  O'Sheas,  the 
loyin'  vagabones !  How's  ahl  yer  fam'ly, 
Mrs.  Flanigan  ?  Is  yer  son  Dinny  wid  yez 
now  ?  " 

"  He  is  an*  he  isn't,  Mrs.  Flynn.  Oi'm 
shlapin'  him  but  Oi'm  not  malin'  him.  He 
does  be  gettin'  too  pertikler,  wantin'  hot 
pla-ates  an'  the  loike.  How's  eggs  the 
da-ay?" 


CHAPTER  IV. 

ON   THE   FRONT   STOOP. 

HER  marketing  done,  Mrs.  Flanigan 
started  homeward.  As  she  approached  Mrs. 
Casey's  home  she  saw  that  lady  standing  in 
the  doorway,  conversing  with  a  good  look 
ing  young  giant  in  policeman's  uniform. 

"  There's  Tom  Donovan  !  "  she  said  to 
herself,  quickening  her  steps.  "  Oi  wondher 
phwin  him  an*  Mary  Ann  will  be  gittin' 
married." 

The  young  policeman  gave  her  a  pleasant 
greeting  as  she  came  up,  and  was  answering 
her  eager  inquiries  in  regard  to  his  mother 
and  sisters  when  Mary  Ann  appeared,  music 
roll  in  hand,  ready  for  her  morning  lessons. 
Tom's  face  lighted  with  pride  as  his  eyes 
swept  the  trim  figure  in  the  neat  street 
dress,  and  rested  on  the  delicately  colored 
face  with  its  Irish  blue  eyes,  and  frame  of 
wavy  dark  hair  under  the  jaunty  toque. 

"  Will  you  tie  my  veil,  Mother,  please?  " 

35 


36  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

While  Mrs.  Casey  performed  this  office 
somewhat  awkwardly,  Mary  Ann  chatted 
gayly  with  Mrs.  Flanigan,  and  then  she  and 
Tom  walked  down  the  street  together,  fol 
lowed  by  the  admiring  gaze  of  the  two 
elders. 

"  She'll  be  lavin'  ye  soon,"  sighed  Mrs. 
Flanigan. 

«  Wirra  !  Yis  !  Tis  betwane  the  j'y  an' 
the  sorra  Oi  am  !  Sit  ye  down  an  the 
shteps,  Mrs.  Flanigan.  'Tis  too  foine  to  be 
goin'  insoide." 

Mrs.  Flanigan,  a  shriveled  wisp  of  a  woman, 
in  rusty  black,  bestowed  herself  and  her 
bundles  beside  the  comfortable  form  of  her 
hostess,  on  the  top  step.  The  May  sunshine, 
with  a  hint  of  June  in  it,  enveloped  them, 
and  they  basked  in  it  gratefully,  knowing 
that  the  wind  was  quite  likely  to  have 
more  than  a  hint  of  March  in  it  at  any 
moment.  Baby  Nora  toddled  about  on 
the  sidewalk  near  them,  chasing  an  elusive 
kitten. 

"  Yis,  Oi'll  be  missin'  Mary  Ann,"  said 
Mrs.  Casey,  a  little  wistfully,  "  but  'tis  niver 
the  da-ay  Oi  doant  t'ank  God  fer  the  good 
man  she's  got.  Luk  at  thim  !  'Tis  yersilf 
knows  there's  no  hansimmer  couple  iver  laid 


On  the  Front  Stoop.  37 

shoe  to  the  soidewalk,  though  'tis  not  mesilf 
that  shud  be  shpakin'  iv  Mary  Ann's  good 
luks." 

"  Shure  ye  moight  say  a  piinty  an*  till  no 
loy,  Mrs.  Casey.  An'  the  good  luks  is  the 
shmallest  iv  the  manny  complimints  ye 
moight  pay  thim  !  "  asserted  Mrs  Flanigan, 
with  elaborate  courtesy. 

"  Roight  ye  arre !  Roight  ye  arre,  Mrs. 
Flanigan  !  Oi've  known  Tom  Donovan  since 
he  was  knee-hoigh  to  a  wurrm,  an  a  claner, 
truer  man  nor  a  tinderer  son  doant  be  livin' ! 
'Tis  a  pity  he  had  to  lave  school  so  airly — 
his  father  doyin'  so." 

"  Yis,  he  doant  be  havin'  the  larrnin'  that 
Mary  Ann  has,"  said  Mrs.  Flanigan. 

"  No  !  wurrse  luck.  It  modifies  her  a  bit 
now  an'  thin,  phwin  the  Gilhooley  gairrls 
cooms  here.  They  do  be  so — so — inty — inty 
— lickchool."  Mrs.  Casey  discharged  this 
formidable  mouthful  with  evident  effort,  but 
was  rewarded  by  the  look  of  stupefied  awe 
on  the  face  of  her  auditor. 

"  The  Gilhooleys  has  invoited  Mary  Ann 
to  go  wid  thim  to  the  sayshore  nixt  mont'," 
said  Mrs.  Casey. 

"Indade!  Is  that  so  ?"  exclaimed  Mrs. 
Flanigan.  "  'Twill  be  foine  fer  her  !  " 


38  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  'Twill  so-o.  'Twas  a  great  t'ing  fer  the 
Gilhooleys  to  coom  into  ahl  that  money  fr'm 
Mrs.  Gilhooley's  uncle.  Mrs.  Gilhooley  bees 
a  rale  la-ady.  Her  payple  ahl  have  money 
an'  they  knows  how  to  use  ut.  They  ta-ake 
to  iddica-ashin  loike  ducks  to  wather  an'  the 
furrst  t'ing  she  did  phwin  she  got  the  money 
was  to  sind  the  gairrls  ahf  to  a  grand  school 
in  the  Aist.  'Twill  be  a  year  nixt  mont' 
since  they  ca-ame  back.  They  was  alwa-ays 
fond  iv  Mary  Ann  an'  soomtimes  Oi've  been 
fearin*  'twud  turrn  her  hid,  the  good  toimes 
she  has  wid  thim,  but  she's  a  good  gairrl,  is 
Mary  Ann." 

"Ye  may  well  sa-ay  that  sa-ame,  Mrs. 
Casey.  Do  ye  know  the  man  coomin*  up 
the  sthrate  ?  " 

Mrs.  Casey  glanced  in  the  direction  in 
dicated. 

"Oi  doan't  know  his  na-ame,  but  Oi  see 
him  go  boy  ahftin." 

As  the  man  approached  the  two  women, 
he  took  off  his  hat  with  a  sweeping  gesture 
and  said, 

"  Peace  be  to  this  house  !  " 

"  T'ank  ye  koindly,  sorr,"  replied  Mrs. 
Casey,  nodding  good-naturedly.  The  man 
passed  on. 


On  the  Front  Stoop.  39 

Mrs.  Flanigan  looked  at  her  friend  in 
astonishment. 

"  Phwoy  did  ye  t'ank  him  fer  sayin' 
that  ?  "  she  demanded. 

"An'  phwoy  shudn't  Oi  t'ank  him  fer 
lavin'  me  a  blissin'  ?  " 

"  A  blissin'  is  ut  ?     Is  it  that  he  mint  ?  " 

"Shure!  Phwat  ilse  ?  He  do  be  wan  iv 
thim  Dowie  craythers.  There's  soom  iv 
thim  around  ivery  now  an'  thin.  They  do 
be  harrmliss  haythins." 

"  A  blissin' !  Well,  that  bates  me  !  Oi 
wish  Oi  d  knowed  that  befoor.  He  do  be 
the  man  that  came  t'me  dure  a  phwoile  ago 
an'  he  siz,  '  Lave  us  have  p'ace  in  this  house  ! ' 
'  Go  alahng  wid  ye  !  '  Oi  siz, '  an'  doan't  coom 
rubberin'  around  phwat's  noane  iv  yer  bis- 
nuss  !  Oi  siz.  'This  cooms  iv  the  neighbors 
talkin' '  Oi  siz.  '  If  they'd  kape  their  mout's 
shut  no  wan  wud  be  knowin'  to  ut,'  Oi  siz. 
Then  jist  the  other  noight  phwin  it  was  so 
foine  and  warrum,  Himself  an'  me  was  sittin' 
an  the  front  shtoop  a-coolin'  oursilves,  phwin 
another  wan  passed  by  an'  he  siz,  '  P'ace  be 
in  this  house !  '  Oi  was  fer  takin'  the 
broomshtick  to  him,  but  Flanigan  says 
as  cool  as  ye  plaze : 

"  '  'Tis  nixt  dure  ye  mane.     They  do  be  a 


4O  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

tough  lot  in  there.     Oi've  cahled  the  polace 
an  thim  a  coople  iv  toimes  ! ' 

"An'  'twas  a  blissin'  he  mint  ahl  the 
toime!  Well!  Well!"  and  Mrs.  Flani- 
gan's  funny  little  cackle  accompanied  Mrs. 
Casey's  more  resonant  laughter. 


CHAPTER   IV. 

MRS.  CASEY'S  HIRED  GIRLS. 

MRS.  CASEY  kept  no  servant,  though  the 
burden  of  her  household  and  family  cares 
was  no  light  one. 

"  No,"  she  said  to  Mrs.  Gilhooley  one  day, 
"  Oi'll  be  boss  in  me  own  kitchun  as  lahng 
as  Oi  have  me  healt'.  O'm  not  loike  yersilf, 
Mrs.  Gilhooley,  used  to  foine  ways  an'  nadin' 
t*  be  waited  an,  an'  we  git  an  virry  well. 
Mary  Ann  hilps  me  a  good  bit,  phwin  she 
has  toime.  Her  t'aching  kapes  her  busy 
now,  t'anks  to  you,  Mrs.  Gilhooley,  fer 
givin*  her  the  start." 

"  I  hear  great  praise  of  her  work,"  said 
Mrs.  Gilhooley.  "  You  have  reason  to  be 
proud  of  Mary  Ann,  Mrs.  Casey." 

"  Oi  am  that  sa-ame,  Mrs.  Gilhooley.  Shure 
nayther  Moike  nor  mesilf  bees  fools,  but  if 
ye'd  put  the  two  hids  iv  us  togither  'twud 
not  ma-ake  wan  iv  Mary  Ann's,  an'  as  fer 
the  music,  'twas  alwa-ays  the  wondher  to 
me  phwere  she  got  it.  Oi  was  good  enough 
41 


42  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

at  a  jig  or  an  ould  song  phwin  Oi  was  a 
gairrl,  but  no  moare  than  common,  an' 
Himself  has  no  moare  music  in  him  than  a 
goat.  Shpakin'  iv  sairvants,  Oi  had  me  fill 
iv  thim  a  year  ago,  phwin  Mary  Ann  an'  her 
paw  tazed  me  into  throyin'  wan.  Oi  wint 
oaver  t'wan  iv  thim  ahfices " 

"  Intelligence  offices?  " 

"Yis,  that's  the  na-ame,  though  Oi  t'ink 
Ignorince  ahfice  wud  be  a  betther  wan. 
There  was  a  crass,  snappy  lukin'  wumman 
sittin'  at  the  disk  phwin  Oi  wint  in.  Oi 
was  jist  goin'  t'  till  her  phwat  Oi  came  fer, 
phwin  she  siz,  as  sharrt  as  poycrust: 

"  '  Phwat  na-ame  ?  '  siz  she. 

"  '  Bridget  Casey,'  siz  Oi. 

"  '  Phwat  wa-ages  ?  '  siz  she. 

"  '  Not  moare  th'n  t'ree  dallers,1  Oi  siz. 

'"She  luked  surproized,  but  said  nothin', 
an*  wroat  ut  down  in  a  big  book. 

"'  Cook?  '  siz  she. 

'"Yis  mum,'  siz  Oi,  '  an'  washin*  an' 
oirnin'  or  anny  other  koind  iv  house  wurrk.' 

"  '  Riff'rences  ?  '  siz  she. 

"  '  Flinty,'  siz  Oi,  an'  Oi  ga-ave  her  a  raft 
iv  thim. 

"  '  Phwoy  did  ye  lave  yer  last  pla-ace  ? '  siz 
she. 


Mrs.  Casey's  Hired  Girls.         43 

"  '  Pla-ace  is  ut  ! '  Oi  shrayked.  '  Phwat 
d'ye  ta-ake  me  fer  ?  Oi'm  no  sairvint  gairrl ! 
Oi'm  Mrs.  Casey,  Mrs.  Aldherman  Casey, 
an'  it's  lukin'  fer  a  cook  Oi  am,  not  a  pla-ace  ! 
Bad  scran  t'ye  fer  a  shtupid  owl ! '  Oi  siz,  an* 
Oi  lift  widout  waitin*  t'  hear  the  apollygies 
she  follied  me  t'  the  dure  wid,  Oi  was  that 
so-are.'  " 

Mrs.  Casey  had  evidently  recovered  from 
the  wound  to  her  self-esteem,  for  she 
laughed  heartily  at  the  memory  of  this 
incident. 

"  And  did  you  try  again  ?  "  asked  Mrs. 
Gilhooley. 

"  Aw  yis.  Oi  hoired  a  Swade  gairrl  but 
she  trun  up  the  job  phwin  she  found  how 
manny  childhern  Oi  had.  '  Oi  suppose  Oi 
moight  dhrowned  a  few  iv  thim  if  'twud 
accommydate  ye  anny,'  Oi  siz.  Thin  they 
sint  me  a  Gairmin  gairrl  jist  oaver,  an'  sorra 
the  wurrd  of  English  cud  she  spake  but 
'  foive  dollars.  '  (  'Twas  that  she'd  be  doin* 
me  the  anner  t'  ixcipt  fer  wa-ages,  if  ye 
plaze.)  '  Huh  ! '  Oi  siz.  '  If  ye'd  be  as 
quick  at  larrnin'  me  cookin'  as  ye  arre  at 
chargin'  fer  ut,  'tis  the  jool  ye'd  be.'  The 
nixt  wan  had  ahl  the  gab  the  other  wan 
hadn't,  fer  she  axed  me  a  shtring  iv  ques- 


44  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

chins  a  moile  lahng  befoor  Oi  cud  shpake. 
'  Arre  youse  hoirin'  me  or  me  hoirin'  youse  ?  ' 
siz  Oi,  as  soon  as  Oi  cud  git  me  brith. 

"  Nayther  iv  thim  was  to  me  ta-aste,  not 
t'minshin  the  coal  black  coon  be  the  na-ame 
iv  Lilly  Whoite,  so  at  last  Oi  tuk  (moareout 
iv  pity  th'n  annyt'ing  ilse)  an  ould  parrthy, 
— an*  bliss  yer  soul,  Mrs.  Gilhooley,  she  was 
the  quarest  boonch  iv  fay-tures  that  iver 
wint  down  the  poike.  She  was  ivery  min- 
nut  iv  sivinty,  but  she  wouldn't  own  to  ut. 
The  wisp  iv  hair  she  had  lift  to  her  was  doyed 
as  black  as  a  crow,  an'  she  wore  a  row  iv 
black  false  currls  in  front.  Her  store  teeth 
didn't  fit  an*  were  alwa-ays  dhroppin'  out 
an  her,  an'  wan  iv  her  oyes  was  glass,  an'  did 
be  givin'  ye  the  quarest  falin'  phwin  she'd 
be  lukin'  at  ye  wid  ut.  It  did  be  alwa-ays 
crookut,  an'  ye  niver  knew  phwat  minnut 
'twud  be  coomin'  down  fr'm  sayin'  prayers 
t'  Hivin  to  be  seein'  shpooks  behoind  the 
back  iv  ye. 

"  Afther  the  fam'ly  had  a  good  luk  at  her, 
'twas  Mary  Ann  sid  t'me, '  Maw',  siz  she  '  ax 
her  if  she  do  be  walkin'  in  her  shlape.  If  Oi 
was  t'  mate  phwat's  lift  iv  her  be  the  toime 
she  do  be  in  bid,  t'wud  shcare  me  into  con- 
voolshins,'  siz  she. 


Mrs.  Casey's  Hired  Girls.         45 

"  Well,  Oi  waited  an  her  moare  th'n  she 
did  an  me.  She  was  that  fayble  Oi  filt 
ashamed  t'ax  her  to  doannyt'ing,  though  she 
was  willin'  enough.  Wan  da-ay  Himself 
axed  me  had  oi  oapined  a  Hoame  fer  In- 
dignint  faymales.  That  ga-ave  mean  oidee. 
Oi  found  she  had  a  bit  iv  money  put  away, 
an'  Oi  shpoke  to  Father  Daly  about  her  an* 
he  got  her  into  the  Ould  Woman's  Hoame, 
n'  she  do  be  virry  aisy  there." 

Mrs.  Casey  forgot  to  mention  that  the 
amount  of  the  poor  woman's  savings  having 
been  insufficient  to  pay  the  entrance  fee  of 
the  institution,  she  and  Michael  had  made 
up  the  deficiency. 

"  And  so  that  ended  your  struggles  with 
the  domestic  problem,"  said  Mrs.  Gilhooley. 

"  Sorra  a  bit !  There  was  wurrse  coomin* 
to  me.  Mary  Ann  wudn't  be  aisy  till  Oi 
throyed  wanst  moare,  so  Oi  wint  to  a  new 
pla-ace  an'  hoired  a  big  sthrong  lukin'  wum- 
man  wid  a  good  charackther  fr'm  her  last 
pla-ace.  'Twas  Lizzie  her  na-ame  was.  Oi 
niver  knew  phwat  coonthry  she ca-ame  fr'm, 
but  Oi  have  me  sispishins  she  was  English. 

"  Well,  'tis  God's  troot  Oi'm  tellin'  ye, 
Mrs.  Gilhooley,  befoor  she  was  wid  us  wan 
da-ay  she  had  ivery  sowl  iv  us  sheared 


46  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

shtiff  wid  her  hoigh-an'-moightiniss.  She 
wudn't  lave  the  b'ys  in  the  kitchun  beca'se 
they  thracked  up  the  flure,  an'  she  shcowled 
at  the  ba-aby  till  she  near  had  a  spazzim 
fr'm  freight.  She  shlammed  the  kitchun 
dure  phwin  Mary  Ann  was  playin'  the 
pianny,  an'  towld  her  she  hated  pianny  play- 
in',  it  made  her  so  nairvis.  Phwin  Moike  kim 
hoame  an'  lit  his  poipe,  she  wint  round  an' 
trun  up  ahl  the  windies,  an'  thin  ivery  few 
minnuts  we  cud  hear  her  gruntin'  an'  sayin' 
'pew  ! '  to  hersilf.  The  dog  lit  out  fer  the 
woodshid,  and  the  cat  hid  undher  me  bid 
upshtairs,  an'  phwin  he  did  be  goin*  out  t' 
ta-ake  the  airr  t'was  be  the  front  dure  he 
wint.  Oi  had  to  take  his  males  upshtairs 
to  'im,  fer  he'd  not  be  coaxed  near  the  kit 
chun  whoilst  she  was  in  ut.  As  fer  mesilf, 
the  la-ady  at  the  ahfice  had  warrned  me  to 
lave  her  wurrk  be  hersilf,  as  she  was  a  throy- 
fil  sat  in  her  wa-ays.  So  Oi'd  lave  her  do 
ahl  the  cookin',  an'  she  knew  how  ahl  roight. 
We  had  plinty  t'  ate  an'  'twas  good,  an'  Oi 
kipt  out  of  her  wa-ay  as  well  as  Oi  cud, 
though  t'was  breakin'  me  hairrt  it  wast'have 
to  be  so  hoomble  loike  in  me  oahn  house. 
Ivery  now  an'  thin  Oi'd  foind  her  laid  out 
an  the  lounge  in  the  doinin'  room  wid  her 


Mrs.  Casey's  Hired  Girls.         47 

arrums  hangin'  sthraight  down  an' her  mout' 
dhropped  oapin.  The  furrst  toime,  Oi  was 
sheared.  Oi  t'ought  she  was  sick. 

"  '  Phwat's  the  matther  wid  ye  ? '  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Nothin',  siz  she.  '  It's  jist  raylaxun  Oi 
am,  be  me  docther's  arrdhers,'  siz  she.  '  Oi 
have  t'  raylax  phwiniver  Oi  fale  nairvis,'  siz 
she. 

"  '  Phwat  does  she  mane  at  ahl  ? '  Oi  siz  to 
Mary  Ann. 

"  '  Oh,  'tis  jist  ma-akin'  a  dishrag  iv  yersilf, 
as  if  ye  had  niver  the  boane  t'ye,  fr'm  yer 
hid  t'  yer  hales,'  siz  she. 

"  Well,  Oi  found  the  raylaxun  fits  alwa-ays 
did  be  coomin' an  phwin  Oi  towld  her  to  do 
annyt'ing.  Jist  so  lahng  as  ye'd  kape  awa-ay 
fr'm  her  an'  lave  her  have  her  own  wa-ay 
about  iveryt'ing,  she  done  foine,  but  the  min- 
nut  ye'd  minshin — niver  moind  how  perloite 
ye'd  be  doin'ut — that  ye'd  loike  t'ings  so  an' 
so,  she'd  begin  t'shlam  the  dures  an'  growl 
to  hersilf,  an'  the  nixt  t'ingye'd  know  she'd 
be  raylaxun  fer  ahl  she  was  wort'. 

"  'Twas  mesilf  done  the  marrkit'n'  an'  Oi 
was  afther  tillin*  her  aich  da-ay  phwat  we'd 
have  fer  dinner.  Soomtoimes  she'd  cook 
phwat  Oi'd  tell  her,  an'  soomtoimes  she 
wudn't.  That  ma-ade  me  woild,  an'  a  dozen 


48  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

toimes  Oi  was  an  me  wa-ay  t'  the  kitchun 
t'rade  the  royit  act  to  her,  phvvin  Mary  Ann 
wud  head  me  ahf  an*  sa-ay,  '  Aw,  put  up  wid 
a  little  lahnger,  Maw.  Maybe  she  didn't 
oondhershtand.  She'll  be  larrnin'  yer  wa-ays 
afther  a  bit.  Be  aisy  wid  her.'  So  Oi'd 
shwally  me  ra-age  an'  wait. 

"  Wan  marrnin*  Moike  siz,  '  D'ye  t'ink 
Quane  Elizzybut*  wud  be  afther  permittin' 
us  t'  have  a  b'iled  dinner?  Shure  'tis  divil 
the  shmell  iv  an  inyin  or  a  cabbage  we've  had 
since  she  cahndescindid  t'  reign  oaver  us.' 

"  '  We'll  have  wan  this  da-ay, '  Oi  siz,  '  or 
soom  wan  will  doy  in  the  attimpt !  '  siz  Oi. 
So  Oi  wint  t'  the  marrkit  an'  sint  hoame  the 
ingriddiments.  Thin  Oi  wint  t'  the  kitchun 
an*  Oi  siz,  quoite  moild,  but  furrum  : 

"  '  We'll  have  a  b'iled  dinner  the  da-ay,'  Oi 
siz.  '  Misther  Casey  an'  the  b'ys  is  that 
fond  iv  it,  they'd  be  aytin'  ut  noine  da-ays 
out  iv  the  sivin,  an'  Oi'm  not  dishpoisin'  ut 
mesilf,'  Oi  siz.  '  There's  nothin'  moare 
tasty  than  a  bit  iv  b'iled  porrk  wid  plinty  iv 
cabbidge  an'  inyins  an'  praties,'  Oi  siz. 

"  She  shtud  shtock  shtill  an'  luked  at  me 
loike  she'd  boare  a  ho-ale  in  me,  but  sorra  a 
wurrd  did  she  sa-ay. 

"  Thin  Oi  tuk  the  ba-aby  an'  wint  t'  shtay 


Mrs.  Casey's  Hired  Gins.         49 

wid  the  Hinnissy  kids.  Ye  see  Mrs.  Hin- 
nissy  gits  a  job  iv  clanin*  ivery  Winsda-ay, 
an'  she  nades  the  money  ba-ad.  But  she 
cudn't  lave  the  twins,  widout  kapin'  Ellen 
fr'm  school,  so  Oi've  been  carin'  fer  thim 
here,  but  that  da-ay  Oi  didn't  dare  bring 
thim,  fer  though  they  bees  good  little  chaps, 
they're  that  n'isy  Oi  knew  Quane  Elizzybut' 
wud  want  thim  behidded  at  wanst.  So  Oi 
wint  there.  'Twas  a  harrd  marrnin',  fer  wan 
iv  the  twins  had  been  sick  the  da-ay  befoor, 
an'  poor  Mag  had  got  behoind  wid  the 
wurrk,  carin'  fer  him.  So  the  sink  was 
poiled  wid  dirrthy  dishes,  sorra  a  bid  was 
ma-ade  in  the  pla-ace,  an'  sich  a  dirrthy 
flure,  t'  say  nothin  iv  the  baskit  iv  cloathes 
waitin"  t'  be  oirned. 

"  '  Bedad,  Mrs.  Casey,  here's  phwere  ye 
git  busy  !  '  says  Oi  to  mesilf,  an'  Oi  done  ut  ; 
at  laste  as  well  as  Oi  cud,  wid  t'ree  choildher 
undher  me  fate.  There  was  a  toidy  kitchun 
an'  a  good  foire,  an'  a  bowl  iv  brid  an' 
millik,  an'  a  dish  iv  hot  praties  waitin'  fer 
Ellen  phwin  she  ca-ame  hoame  fr'm  school. 
She  oanly  goes  marrnin's,  so  Oi  cud  be 
shpared  thin.  Well,  ahl  the  phwoile  me 
mout'  had  been  watherin'  fer  the  taste  iv  the 
illigint  male  that  was  awaitin'  me.  Oi 
4 


50  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

ca-ame  round  to  the  back  dure,  an'  phwin 
Oi  oapined  ut  Oi  tuk  a  good  schniff,  expic- 
tin'  t'  git  a  foine  whiff  iv  me  fa-av'rit  vigi- 
tubbles,  but  the  airr  was  as  impty  as  a  last 
year's  burrd's  nist.  The  porrk  and  praties 
was  cookin',  but  the  cabbidge  an'  inyins  was 
nowhere  in  soight.  Nayther  was  Quane 
Elizzybut'.  Oi  oapined  the  doinin'  room 
dure,  an'  there  she  was  an'  the  lounge,  ray- 
laxun'  t'  bate  the  band. 

"  '  Phwere  be  the  cabbidge  an'  inyins  Oi 
sint  home  ?  '  Oi  siz,  howldin*  an  t'mesilf  fer 
fear  Oi'd  lay  violint  hands  an  her. 

"  She  got  up  shlow  loike,  an'  walked  out 
to  the  kitchun  befoor  she  did  be  shpakin'. 
Thin  she  luked  at  me  loike  Oi  was  the  dirrt 
under  her  fate,  an'  she  siz  wid  her  noase  in 
the  airr  : 

"  'They're  in  the  garbidge  barr'l,  mum  !  ' 
siz  she.  '  'Tis  the  oanly  pla-ace  they  bees 
fitten  fer,"  sez  she.  '  Oi'll  not  have  me 
kitchun  shmellin*  iv  thim  voile  t'ings ! 
They  do  be  oanly  fitten  fer  pigs  t'  ate.  Yez 
can't  have  thim  phwoile  Oi  cook  fer  yez. 
Oi'll  not  bemane  mesilf  be  cookin'  thim. 
An'  ye  kin  kape  out  iv  me  kitchun !  '  she 
siz.  '  Oi  know  me  bisnuss  an'  Oi  doant 
nade  anny  arrdhers  !  " 


Mrs.  Casey's  Hired  Girls.         51 

"  Mercy  !  What  insolence  !  "  exclaimed 
Mrs.  Gilhooley. 

"  Did  you  iver  hear  the  aquil  av  ut  ?  If 
Oi  had'nt  been  steriloized  wid  ra-age,  ye 
may  be  shure  Oi  wudn't  have  shtud  quoit 
till  she'd  sid  ahl  that,  but  Oi  found  me 
v'ice  at  last  an'  ye'd  betther  belave  she  got 
no  more  chanst  t'  talk  back. 

"  '  Ye  ould  boonch  iv  impidence  !  "  Oi 
siz.  '  How  da-are  ye  trun  away  me  good  vic 
tuals  !  '  Oi  sez.  '  An'  thin  to  shtand  there 
an'  insoolt  me  in  my  fa-ace  !  Me  !  Aldher- 
man  Casey's  woife  !  Your  kitchun  is  ut  ! 
Oi'll  show  ye  whose  kitchun  ut  is  !  It's  a 
sairvint  Oi'm  wantin',  not  a  boss !  '  Oi  sez. 
'  Oi've  pit  up  wid  yer  shlammin'  an'  growlin' 
an'  yer  noshins  till  Oi'm  no  betther  th'n  a 
wurrum,  but  this  bees  the  limmit  !  An' 
the  wurrum  bees  turrned  oaver  !  Oi'll  give 
ye  jist  tin  minnuts  t'  pack  yer  duds  an' 
ma-ake  ahf  wid  yersilf,  or  Oi'll  cahl  the 
hurry  waggin  for  ye  !  Dust  out  iv  this  ! '  Oi 
siz,  an'  she  shcuttled  upshtairs  wid  the 
broom  at  her  hales. 

"  Oi'm  doin*  me  own  wurrk  since,  wid 
Mag  Hinnessy  t'  help  me  a  da-ay  phwiniver 
I  nade  her.  The  t'oughts  iv  another  sair 
vint  gairrl  makes  me  quoite  naushis !  " 


CHAPTER   VI. 

MRS.    CASEY   ON   LAWN   TENNIS. 

"  THE  top  o'  the  marrnin'  t'  ye,  Mrs. 
Flanigan  !  It's  glad  Oi  am  t'  see  ye  the  day  ! 
Shure  Oi  haven't  sit  oyes  an  ye  fer  a  mont'. 
Sit  ye  down,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ;  shure  ye  must 
be  toired.  Millia  murrther  !  ye're  sittin'  an 
the  cat !  Bad  scran  to  the  crayther  !  It  do 
be  always  undher  me  fut.  Go  an  now  ! 
S-s-s!" 

"  Bedad  !  "  quoth  Mrs.  Flanigan,  who  had 
risen  more  suddenly  than  gracefully,  "  'tis  a 
good  job  fer  the  baste  Oi'm  not  as  hivvy  as 
yersilf ! " 

"  An'  how  have  ye  been,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ? 
An'  how's  the  ould  man  an'  the  b'ys  ?  Oh, 
yis  ;  we  ahl  do  be  foine  here,  barrin'  Jahnny. 
He  has  the  whoopin'  cahf,  an'  it's  virry  bad 
he  is.  Oh,  yis,  Mary  Ann's  well.  She  had 
a  foine  toime  at  the  sayshore  wid  the  Gil- 
hooleys.  She  did  be  goin'  in  grand  sassoyty 
an'  she  wint  roidin'  in  wan  iv  thim  yats  they 
has  down  there.  Arrah !  but  Oi  nade  to 
52 


Mrs.  Casey  on  Lawn  Tennis.      53 

kape  an  oye  till  her  ahl  the  sa-ame,  fer  ahl 
their  grand  wa-ays,  fer  'tis  corruptin*  her 
morals  they'd  be  ;  no  liss !  An'  she  do  be 
always  brought  up  daycint  an  illigint — 
Jahnny  !  be  quoit !  Go  an  out  an'  play  wid 
the  goat  a  phwoile  ;  there's  a  good  b'y  ! — 
Ye  see  this  is  how  it  was.  'Twas  ahl  alahng 
iv  a  ga-ame  they  cahl  lahng  Dinnis.  Mary 
Ann  ca-ame  hoame  wan  day  last  summer, 
an'  she  siz  t'  me,  siz  she, 

" '  Maw,  the  Gilhooleys  is  gittin'  up  a 
lahng  Dinnis  cloob,  an'  Oi'm  to  belahng  to 
ut,'  siz  she. 

"  '  A  lahng  Dinnis  cloob  !  '  Oi  siz.  An' 
phwat's  that  ?  Is  it  soom  new  koind  iv  a 
shillaly  ? '  Oi  siz.  '  Faix,  an'  ye  doan't  be 
lahng  to  no  lahng  Dinnis,  nor  sharrt  Dinnis 
ayther,  bedad,  but  to  hanest  Tom  Donovan, 
an'  it's  makin'  yer  widdin'  cloas  Oi  am  this 
minnut,'  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Oh,  maw.! '  she  siz.  '  It's  only  a 
ga-ame  ! '  she  siz.  '  An'  they  plays  it  an  the 
la-ahn,  wid  a  nit  an'  bahls,  an'  Oi'll  have  to 
hov  a  Dinnis  soot,'  she  siz. 

" '  An'  phwat'll  that  be  ?  '  Oi  siz. 

" '  Whoy,  it's  a  driss  to  wear  phwin  Oi 
plays  the  ga-ame  !  '  she  siz.  '  An'  Oi  want 
wan  as  foine  as  Annie  Gilhooley's.' 


54  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

" 4  An'  phwat's  the  matther  wid  the  driss 
ye  had  made  fer  the  Sons  iv  Erin  bahl  ?  ' 
Oi  siz.  '  The  satin  wan,  wid  the  lahng  tail 
to  ut,  an'  the  disquality  nick,  an'  the  illigint 
lace  an'  rid  arrtifishuls  ?  Shure,  Oi'm  t'inkin' 
Annie  Gilhooley  '11  not  have  annyt'ing  foiner 
thin  that  now.' 

"  '  Now,  maw  !  '  siz  Mary  Ann,  '  that's  not 
sootable  at  ahl  at  ahl,'  she  siz.  '  Oi  want  a 
linnun  shurrt  waist  soot,  wid  a  sharrt  skurt, 
an'  wan  iv  thim  caps  they  do  be  wearin'  an 
the  yats,  an'  Oi  want  foive  dallers  to  boy  a 
rackut.' 

"  '  Rackut  is  ut  !  '  Oi  siz,  '  Foive  dallers  ! 
Shure,  Oi  t'ink  wid  four  b'ys  an'  a  baby 
an'  a  pianny,  an'  a  dog  an'  a  cat  an'  that 
scramin'  parrot — the  ould  b'y  floy  away  wid 
him  ! — lit  alone  yer  paw  phwin  he  kirns 
hoame  from  the  warrd  maytin's — 'tis  rackut 
enough  we  has,  an'  fer  nothin'.  It's  no  foive 
dallers  ye'll  shpind  fer  more  rackut,  be- 
gorra  ! — Jahnny  Casey,  if  ye  doan't  lave  ahf 
tazin'  the  baby,  Oi'll  take  me  shlipper  t'  ye  ! 
D'ye  moind  that  now?  Hush  croyin' now, 
darlint !  Here  thin !  here's  yer  sisther's 
foatygraft  album — luk  at  that  now  !  Alan- 
na,  but  it's  a  foine  choild  she  is,  Mrs.  Flani- 
gan,  phwin  ye  lave  her  have  her  oahn  way. 


Mrs.  Casey  on  Lawn  Tennis.      55 

"  Well,  as  Oi  was  tillin'  ye,  if  Oi'd  put 
me  fut  down  thin,  Oi'd  have  saved  mesilf 
throuble  an'  money ;  but  phwin  the  ould 
man  kim  hoame  'twas  aisy  wurrk  fer  Mary 
Ann  to  taze  him  around,  an'  so  it  wasn't 
lahng  befoor  she  was  roonin'  to  play  lahng 
Dinnis  ivery  day  in  the  wake,  an'  sorra  a  bit 
iv  wurrk  could  Oi  git  out  iv  her. 

"  She  played  a  good  bit  this  summer  too, 
ispishilly  phvvoile  she  was  away,  an'  the 
other  day  she  cooms  hoame  an'  she  siz, 
'  Maw,  there's  to  be  a  tinimint  at  the  cloob, 
an'  Oi'm  to  play  wid  a  match,'  she  siz. 

"'Not  a  bit  iv  ut ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Oi  niver 
allowed  anny  choild  iv  moine  to  pla-ay  wid 
matches  at  ahl,  at  ahl  ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Phwat  d'ye 
maine?'  Oi  siz,  '  Doan't  ye  know  ye  moight 
sit  the  tinimint  an  foire  ?  '  Oi  siz.  '  Perhaps 
we  moight  rint  it !  '  Oi  siz,  '  fer  if  ye're  goin' 
to  shpind  ahl  yer  toime  pla-ayin'  lahng  Din 
nis,  we'd  betther  live  close  boy,  an'  sa-ave 
toime  comin'  an'  goin'  !  (Oi  siz  this  virry 
sircasty,  Mrs.  Flanigan,  fer  it's  mad  Oi  was.) 

"  So  thin  she  ixplained  that  the  tinimint 
was'nt  a  tinimint  at  ahl,  but  a  koind  iv  a 
show-ahf  ga-ame  iv  lahng  Dinnis,  an'  she 
invoited  me  to  go  alahng  wid  her,  that  Oi 
moight  see  phwat  a  purrty  ga-ame  it  was. 


56  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  '  An'  pit  an  the  bist  ye  has,'  she  siz,  '  fer 
it's  a  stoylish  crowd  that'll  be  there  !  ' 

"  So  Oi  pit  an  me  new  rafferty  silk  driss 
an'  me  doimin  pin  that  Oi  won  in  the  raffle 
at  the  churrch  fair,  an'  Mary  Ann  done  me 
hairwid  a  punkydore,  an*  Oi  tuk  me  phwoite 
parasol,  an'  Oi  wint. 

"  'Twas  a  foine  da-ay,  an*  there  was  a  lot 
iv  noice  lookin'  payple  a  sittin'  around  a  big 
square  place  marked  ahf  an  the  grass  wid 
chalk,  wid  a  gra-ate  lahng  fish  nit  shtuck  up 
idge  ways  acrass  the  middle  iv  ut. 

"  The  gairrls  ahl  looked  moighty  purrty 
an'  there  was  a  lot  iv  judes  in  phwoite 
clothes  shkippin'  around  an'  gittin'  undher 
fut,  an'  there  was  plinty  iv  gigglin'  an'  chat- 
therin'  ye  may  be  shure. 

"  Jahnny  !  Ja-ahnny  !  If  ye  doan't  quit 
lavin'  the  scrane  dure  oapin  Oi'll  dhrown  ye 
in  a  toob  o'  wather !  Moy !  but  the  floys 
bees  that  ahful  now!  Ye  can't  coom  t'roo 
the  dure  but  a  dozen  iv  thim  iscapes  in  !  " 

"  Yis,  they  do  be  somethin'  fierce!"  re 
plied  Mrs.  Flanigan.  "  But  gwan  about  the 
tinimint !  " 

"  Mary  Ann  pit  a  chair  fer  me  in  the  front 
row  an'  wint  an'  fitched  up  a  foine  shtrappin' 
young  felly  in  phwoite  pants,  an'  interjuiced 


Mrs.  Casey  on  Lawn  Tennis.      57 

me  t'm.  Oi  fergit  his  na-ame,  but  he  was 
wan  iv  the  bosses,  Oi  t'ink.  He  was  moighty 
perloite  an'  shmoilin'. 

"  '  Glad  t*  mate  ye,  Mrs  Casey,'  he  siz. 
'  Oi  hoape  ye'll  inj'y  the  tinimint,'  he  siz. 
'  Yer  da-arrter  pits  up  a  foine  ga-ame,  an'  it's 
proud  iv  her  ye'll  be,'  he  siz. 

"  '  Faix  an'  it's  prouder  iv  her  Oi'd  be/  Oi 
siz, '  if  she'd  shtay  hoame  wanst  in  a  phwoile 
an'  pit  up  a  few  cans  iv  timatties  or  the  loike 
o'  that,'  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Oh,  but  lahng  Dinnis  is  so  healt'y,'  he 
siz. 

"'An'  phwat  if  he  is?'  Oi  siz.  '  Oi 
haven't  the  anner  iv  the  gintleman's  ac 
quaintance,'  siz  Oi ;  'an'  Oi'm  not  at  ahl 
throubled  about  his  healt','  Oi  siz. 

"  Wid  that  he  turrned  so  rid  in  the  face, 
an'  began  boitin'  his  mistache  so  harrd,  that 
Oi  was  sheared  for  fear  he  moight  be  lahng 
Dinnis  himself,  or  wan  iv  the  fam'ly,  an'  Oi 
moight  have  hurrted  his  faylin's,  so  Oi  siz, 

"  '  It's  no  offince  Oi  mane  at  ahl  at  ahl,  in 
ca-ase  yer  own  na-ame  moight  be  Dinnis,' 
Oi  siz. 

" '  Oh,  don't  mintion  it,  mum,'  he  siz,  '  an' 
he  laughed  so  hairrty  that  Oi  knew  he  filt 
betther. 


58  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  Thin  he  bowed  an'  wint  ahf,  an*  thin  Oi 
luked  around,  an'  there  was  Mary  Ann  a 
prancin'  around  wid  a  bat  made  out  iv 
sthring,  about  as  big  as  me  little  coal  chuvvle, 
an'  a  knockin'  ba-ase  bahls  across  the  fish 
nit,  an'  Annie  Gilhooley  oaver  an  the  other 
soide  knockin'  thim  back  at  her. 

"  There  was  a  little  jude  sittin'  up  on  a 
hoigh  shtool  at  wan  ind  iv  the  nit,  wroitin' 
an  a  piece  iv  pa-aper  an'  yellin'  out  some- 
thin'  to  'm  ivery  now  an'  thin. 

"  First  wan  iv  thim  would  hit  a  bahl  a 
lick,  an'  the  felly  would  yell : 

"  '  Wan  ! ' 

"  Thin  she  would  sind  another  wan  floyin* 
an'  he'd  cahl  out, 

"  Throuble ! ' 

"  Thin  she  would  chase  hersilf  over  to  the 
other  carrner  of  the  square  t'  git  a  betther 
crack  at  ut.  Thin  the  other  gairrl  would 
ploog  it  back  at  her,  an'  thin  they'd  ahl 
wait  a  phwoile  till  some  iv  the  judes  would 
foind  some  more  bahls. 

"  Thin  they  would  go  at  ut  some  more, 
roonin'  an'  jumpin'  an'  tearin'  around  till 
they  both  looked  that  rid  in  the  face  an' 
toired  that  Oi  siz  to  a  foine  stoylish  lukin* 
lady  that  sat  nixt  to  me  : 


Mrs.  Casey  on  Lawn  Tennis.      59 

"  '  If  Mary  Ann  was  to  wurrk  as  harrd  as 
that  a  doin'  a  washin',  it's  kilt  she'd  be 
intoirely.' 

"  Ahl  the  toime  the  jude  an  the  shtool  was 
yellin'  an'  shcramin.'  Oi  couldn't  hear  much 
he  sid,  but  'twas  numbers  mostly,  Oi  t'ink. 
Iv  coorse  Oi  wouldn't  have  moinded  that, 
but  after  a  phwoile  Mary  Ann  did  somethin' 
wrang,  Oi  suppose,  fer  he  shcramed  out  at 
her  quite  voilint  loike. 

" '  The  dooce ! '  he  siz. 

"  That  made  me  rale  mad,  phwin  the  poor 
gairrl  was  throyin'  so  harrd,  an'  Oi  siz : 

"  '  None  o'  that,  me  foine  b'y  !  Ye'll  not 
be  vintin'  anny  iv  yer  profanity  an  Aldherman 
Casey's  da-arther,'  Oi  siz. 

"Ahl  the  payple  around  me  laughed,  fer 
they  was  glad  to  see  the  sassy  jude  tuk  down 
a  bit.  But  he  niverpaid  a  bit  iv  attintion  at 
ahl  at  ahl. 

"An'  that  wasn't  the  wurrst  he  sid.  'T 
was  only  a  sharrt  toime  afther  that  phwin 
Mary  Ann  siz  to  him,  virry  rispictful: 

"'  Phwat's  the  shcore,  Misther  Jo-ans?  ' 

"  He  luked  at  her  wid  a  grin  an  him  loike 
a  young  alligaither,  an'  he  siz  : 

"  '  Thirrty,  love  ! '  jist  loike  that. 

"  Well,  'twas  woild  Oi  was   that  minnut. 


60  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

Oi  wint  oaver  an'  shuk  me  fisht  at  him  an* 
Oi  siz : 

"  '  Phwat  do  ye  mane,  ye  impidint  raskil  ' 
Oi  siz,  '  to  be  talkin'  loike  that  to  me  Mary 
Ann,'  Oi  siz,  '  an'  she  ingaged  to  Tom  Don 
ovan  an'  him  an  the  polace  foorce }  '  Oi  siz. 
'  An'  it's  lucky  fer  ye  it's  an  his  bate  he  is 
this  minnut  an'  not  here,  or  it's  roon  in  ye'd 
be,  phvvere  ye  belahng  ! ' 

" '  Coom  alahng  hoame,  Mary  Ann,  this 
minnut,'  Oi  siz,  '  an'  if  lahng  Dinnis  or — or 
sharrt  Dinnis  iver  insoolts  ye  ag'in,  Aldher- 
man  Casey'll  give  him  a  rackut  that'll  shprout 
basebahls  ahl  over  his  hid,  bad  luck  to  'im  !  " 


CHAPTER  VII. 

MRS.    CASEY   AT   A   SUMMER   HOTEL. 

HOOROO!  Is  it  r'aly  yersilf,  Mrs.  Casey? 
Phwin  did  ye  coom  back?  '  Tis  an  illigint 
thrip  ye  bees  afther  havin'  !  Ye  do  be  lukin' 
foine !  " 

"  Faix  an'  Oi'm  falin'  that  sa-ame,  Mrs. 
Flanigan  !  Oi'm  that  fat  Oi'm  near  bustin'  me 
waists.  Mary  Ann  siz  Oi  do  be  gittin'  too 
fat  an'Oi'll  have  to  begin  doyutin.'  " 

"  Phwat's  that  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Flanigan  in 
awestruck  tones. 

"  '  Tis  goin'  widout  aytin',  an' ye  begin  wid 
praties,  she  siz." 

"  Aw  shure,  ye  cudn't  be  doin'  that,  Mrs. 
Casey  ! " 

"  Well,  not  so  'twud  be  hurrtin'  ye,  Mrs. 
Flanigan,"  laughed  Mrs.  Casey.  "  Oi  t'ink 
a  little  washin*  an'  oirnin'  an'  cookin'll  soon 
take  ahf  a  plinty,  widout  the  doyutin,'  an' 
Oi'm  not  sorry  to  git  hoame  and  be  doin' 
somethin*  wid  me  hands  ag'in.  'Twas  good 
to  rist  fer  a  phwoile,  but  Oi'm  not  used  to 
6l 


62  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

sittin*  an  a  piazzy  an'  rockin'  fer  a  mont'  at  a 
toime,  an'  it  wint  harrd  wid  me  afther  the 
furrst  wake  iv  ut." 

"  '  Tis  a  foine  color  ye  do  be  bavin' !  " 

"  Oh  yis  !  Oi'm  that  sunburrnt,  Oi  was 
fearin'  Oi'd  be  tuk  fer  a  naygur.  Mary  Ann 
wudn't  lave  me  take  me  parasol  phwin  Oi 
wint  out  walkin.'  She  sid  'twas  stoylish  to  be 
tanned  an'  if  Oi  wint  hoame  widout  bein'  the 
color  iv  a  muggany  bureau,  no  wan  wud  know 
Oi  was  afther  goin'  out  iv  town  at  ahl  at  ahl." 

"  Well,  Oi'm  glad  ye  wint  but  'tis  good  to 
see  ye  back.  'Twas  quoite  suddint  loike, 
yer  goin',  wasn't  it  ?" 

"  It  was  indade.  Oi  had  no  oidee  iv  ut. 
Ye  see  afther  Oi  tuk  sick  alahng  the  furrst 
iv  August,  Oi  cudn't  same  t'  git  shtrang 
agin  an'  Mary  Ann  sid  Oi  naded  a  rist  an' 
Oi'd  niver  git  ut  wid  shtayin'  hoame,  aivin 
if  some  wan  ilse  done  the  wurrk,  an'  that's 
roight  too,  fer  'twud  give  me  a  fit  if  some 
wan  ilse  was  doin'  ut,  if  they  didn't  do  ut 
moy  way,  an*  Oi'd  be  mixin'  in  an'  doin'  ut 
mesilf.  So  she  talked  to  her  Paw  wan  noight, 
an'  the  nixt  marrnin'  she  siz  to  me,  siz  she, 
'  Paw  an'  me's  got  it  all  fixed  up,  an'  all  ye 
have  to  do  is  to  lave  ut  to  me  an'  ye'll  have 
the  toime  iv  yer  loife,'  she  siz. 


Mrs.  Casey  at  a  Summer  Hotel.     63 

"  '  Phwat  d'ye  mane  ? '  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Oi  mane  that  Paw's  sint  fer  A'nt  Molly 
to  shtay  wid  the  kids  an'  youse  be  goin' 
away  wid  me  to  a  pla-ace  phwere  ye  can 
rist ! '  she  siz. 

"  Oi  sid  Oi  cudn't  be  doin'  it  at  ahl,  but 
'twas  no  use.  Molly  ca-ame  the  nixt  da-ay. 
She  does  be  foine  wid  choilder  ye  know,  and 
she  fair  dhruv  me  out.  She  said  if  Oi  wasn't 
out  iv  the  house  in  two  da-ays  she'd  take 
the  broom  t'  me.  She  an'  Mary  Ann  wint 
down  town  and  bought  me  some  new  cloas — a 
shurrt  waist  soot  an'  a  new  hat  an'  the  loike  o' 
that — and  they  packed  me  thrunk  an'  befoor 
Oi  knew  ut  Oi  was  an  me  way  to  the  thrain, 
wid  ahl  the  b'ys  alahng  t'see  me  ahf.  Oi 
niver  cud  have  done  ut  but  fer  Mary  Ann. 
It's  a  foine  thraveler  she  is.  The  nixt  t'ing 
Oi  knowed  we  was  an  the  thrain,  and  the 
conducther  was  yellin'  '  all  aboord  ! ' 

"  '  Aw  wirra  ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Howld  an  a  bit  till 
Oi  say  good-by  wanst  moare  to  me  b'ys/  Oi 
siz.  An'  Oi  put  me  hid  out  iv  the  windy  to 
phwere  they  was  shtandin'  in  a  row,  Patsy, 
Mickey  an'  Jahnny — Larry  cudn't  git  ahf 
from  his  wurrk — and  Oi  siz,  '  Good-by,  b'ys  ! ' 
Oi  siz,  '  Beha-ave  yersilves  an'  moind  yer 
a'nt,  an'  doan't  be  foightin'  wid  thim  Fogarty 


64  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

kids,'  Oi  siz,  '  an  doant  taze  the  ba-aby  and 
be  aisy  wid  the  goat — raymember  the  buttin' 
ye  got  last  wake — an'  till  yer  a'nt  to  pit  the 
cat  out  noights,  an  '  t'ma-ake  yer  Paw's  cahfee 
good  an  sthrang,  an'  doant  lave  the  cop  git 
afther  yez — '  be  this  toime  we  was  moast  a 
block  away  an'  Oi  had  to  scrayche  to  ma-ake 
thim  hear  me,  the  cyarrs  made  sich  a  n'ise, 
an*  Mary  Ann  pullin"  me  away  from  the 
windy  all  the  toime,  for  fear  Oi'd  git  me  hid 
smashed. 

"  It  tuk  about  t'ree  hours  t'  git  there,  but 
'twas  a  foine  roide.  'Tis  the  furrst  toime 
Oi've  sane  a  bit  iv  rale  coonthry  since  we 
coom  here,  twinty-sivin  years  back,  an'  'twas 
a  grand  soight.  It  fair  sint  the  tears  t'  me 
oyes. 

"  Phwat  loike  was  the  la-ake,  d'ye  say  ? 
Sure  'twas  the  purtiest  bit  iv  wather  this 
soide  iv  Killarney !  Oi'd  give  a  pig  to  have 
ye  there  wid  me,  Mrs.  Flanigan  !  The  hotil 
was  a  foine  big  buildin'  wid  piazzies  all  round 
an'  a  band  playin',  and  crowds  iv  payple 
about,  moastly  women — but  wait  till  Oi  till 
ye  about  the  room  they  gave  us.  Moike 
had  tillygrafted  fer  the  bist  they  had  and 
phwat  d'ye  t'ink  it  was  ?  A  bit  iv  a  box 
under  the  roof  wid  a  shmall  windy  lukin' 


s.. 


Mrs.    Flanigan. 


—Page  64. 


Mrs.  Casey  at  a  Summer  Hotel.     65 

out  oaver  the  back  ya-ard  an'  a  bid  that  luked 
loike  a  peat  bog.  'T  was  full  iv  floys  the 
pla-ace  was,  from  a  big  hoale  in  the  skeety 
nett'n  at  the  windy,  an'  the  sun  was  coomin' 
in  hot,  but  sorra  a  bit  iv  wind.  There  was 
wan  shtiff  chair  an'  a  koind  iv  a  wash  shtand 
an'  bureau  mixed  up  togither  (there  wasn't 
room  fer  but  wan)  and  there  was  no  cyarpit 
an  the  flure.  Mary  Ann  was  woild,  and  she 
cha-ased  hersilf  down  t'  the  ahfice  an'  siz  to 
the  young  felly  that  shtud  behoind  the 
counther, 

" '  Phwat    d'ye  mane  by  givin'  us  sich  a 
hoale  as  that  ?  '  she  siz. 

"  '  'Tis  the  bist  we  has,'  says  the  felly,  as 
smooth  as  butther. 

"  '  We'll  go  to  another  hotel  thin,'  she  siz. 

"  'There  isn't  anny,'  he  siz,  wid  a  grin. 

"  '  Virry  well !  we'll  go  back  to  the  city,' 
she  siz. 

"  '  There's  no  thrain  till  to-morry,'  he  siz. 

41 '  'Tis  an  outra-rage  ! '  she  siz. 

"  '  Oi'm  virry  sorry,  Miss,'  he  siz,  as  moild 
as  millik,  but  furrum. 

"  Wid  that  Mary  Ann    saw  'twas  no  use 
t'reatnun',   so    she    throyed    coaxin'    an'  ye 
know  she   can    coax   the   hairrt   out  iv   ye 
phwin  she  sits  her  moind  an  ut. 
5 


66  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

" '  Oi'm  shure,  if  ye  throid,  ye  cud  do 
better  fer  us,'  she  siz.  '  Anny  wan  wid  the 
awthawrutty  that  youse  has,'  she  siz,  '  must 
be  able  to  bring  soom  iny&wence  to  bear 
upon  the  perpryther,  in  the  ca-ase  iv  a  sick 
la-ady,'  she  siz.  '  Me  mamaw's  quoite  ill, 
an'  me  papaw — Alderman  Casey — '11  appray- 
shate  anny  koindniss  ye'll  be  afther  doin* 
her,'  she  siz  and  she  shmoiled  at  him  wid 
the  moast  imploarin'  luks  out  iv  the  saft 
eyes  iv  her.  'Twud  milt  the  Blarney  shtoan 
itsilf,  lit  aloan  the  hairrt  iv  a  man. 

"  '  Oi'll  shpake  wid  Misther  Ba-aker  and 
do  the  bist  Oi  can  fer  ye ! '  he  siz.  He 
wint  into  a  little  room  back  iv  the  ahfice, 
and  in  a  minit  he  kim  out  agin  wid  a  wink, 
as  mooch  as  to  say,  '  Oi'm  the  b'y  t'  fix  it 
fer  ye  ! '  an'  he  siz  : 

"  '  'Twill  be  all  roight,  Miss  Casey,'  he  siz, 
'  on'y  Oi'll  have  t'  ax  ye  t'  be  payshint  till 
to-morry,'  he  siz.  '  There's  some  payple 
goin'  away  in  the  marrnin',  an'  there'll  be  a 
foine  room  vakint  an  the  sickind  flure,'  he 
siz.  Wud  yez  moind  waitin'  till  thin  ?  '  he 
siz. 

" '  Oi  suppose  we'll  have  to,'  siz  Mary 
Ann. 

"  Oi'd  have  tuk  a  hand  in  the  argymint 


Mrs.  Casey  at  a  Summer  Hotel.     67 

mesilf  in  the  shtart  iv  ut,  but  Oi  was  falin' 
that  toired  an'  wake,  an'  besoides  Oi  cud  see 
Mary  Ann  was  quoite  aquil  to  the  occa- 
shin. 

"  Well,  we  shlipt  in  that  room  that 
noight,  an'  begorra,  Mrs.  Flanigan,  'twas 
loike  shlapin'  an  a  litther  iv  pigs  to  loy  an 
that  bid,  an'  the  pillies  was  stuffed  wid  harrd 
lumps  iv  cotton  wid  shticks  betwane  (at 
laste  it  filt  loike  that),  but  oh  murrther! 
the  miskitties!  Oi'm  tellin'  ye  no  loy,  Mrs. 
Flanigan  !  There  was  thousands  iv  thim  ! 
We  boath  luked  like  we  had  the  shmall  pox 
phwin  we  got  up  in  the  marrnin',  an*  'twas 
sorra  the  wink  iv  shlape  we  got  the  noight, 
bein*  well  cooked  wid  the  hate  as  well  as 
ayted,  an'  Oi  siz  to  Mary  Ann  : 

"  Tis  a  fool  Oi  was  to  lave  a  comfurtible 
ho-ame  wid  a  good  fither  tick  an'  pilly  fer 
the  loikes  iv  this!  If  we'd  not  the  promus 
iv  a  daycint  pla-ace  to  shtop  in  Oi'd  have 
shtarted  fer  ho-ame  on  fut  wid  the  furrst 
pape  o'  da-ay.'  But  the  felly  was  as  good 
as  his  wurrd,  an'  afther  brikfist  he  sint  us  to 
a  foine  room  wid  two  single  bids  an'  a  clane 
matt'n  an  the  flure,  an'  a  rockin'  cha-air,  an' 
no  miskitties.  Mary  Ann  didn't  loike  ut 
becase  'twas  oaver  the  kitchen,  but  Oi  towld 


68  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

her  it  kipt  me  from  bein'  ho-amesick  to  sit  by 
the  windy  and  shmell  the  porrk  froyin'  an' 
the  cabbage  an'  inyins  a  b'ilin',  an'  the  n'ise 
was  no  wurrse  than  the  throlly  cyarrs.  Be- 
soides  'twas  so  sociable  loike  to  hear  a  bit  iv 
the  good  ould  brogue  now  an*  thin  from 
below,  an'  the  scraps  betwane  the  cooks  an' 
the  naygur  waithers  was  as  intherta-ainin' 
as  the  owld  tinimint  used  t'  be.  It  quoite 
carried  me  back  to  ould  toimes. 

"Phwat  did  Oi  do  wid  mesilf?  Well, 
there  wasn't  mooch  to  do,  t'  till  the  troot'. 
Oi'd  walk  around  the  pla-ace  a  bit,  an'  Mary 
Ann  tuk  me  out  rowin'  a  few  toimes  an' 
wanst  Oi  wint  in  a  sailboat  ;  but  Hivin  fer- 
bid  me  goin' ag'in.  Oi  niver  wud  a  wint  at 
ahl  at  ahl,  but  Mary  Ann  was  jist  cra-azy  to 
go  an'  there  was  a  young  man  there  wid  wan 
(a  sailboat  Oi  mane),  an'  he  was  tazin'  her 
day  an'  noight  to  be  goin'  in  ut,  an'  Oi  didn't 
t'ink  'twas  proper  fer  her  to  be  goin'  sailin' 
or  anny  phwere  ilse  aloan  wid  a  young  felly, 
an'  her  ingaged  to  Tom  Donovan  an'  him 
a  wroitin'  to  her  ivery  da-ay.  So  she  siz, 
'  Ye'll  have  to  go  alahng  for  a  chappyroon/ 
she  siz. 

"  Phwat's  that,  I  dinnaw  ? "  asked  Mrs. 
Flanigan. 


Mrs.  Casey  at  a  Summer  Hotel.     69 

"  'Tis  a  married  wumman,  that  goes 
alahng  wid  a  gairrl  t'  ma-ake  it  rispictible  fer 
her  to  be  doin*  annyt'ing  she  loikes.  We 
niver  had  thim  in  our  da-ay,  so  we  had  to 
be-ha-ave  oursilves,  but  now-a-da-ays,  if  ye 
have  a  chappyroon  alahng,  ye  can  be  as 
woild  as  ye  loike  an'  no  wan  can  say  anny 
t'ing  ;  at  laste,  so  Oi'm  towld.  Annyhow, 
Oi  wouldn'  lave  Mary  Ann  go  widout  me, 
so  Oi  wint,  though  Oi  t'ink  the  felly  didn't 
ca-are  pertikler  fer  me  sassoyty.  Oi  t'ought 
it  was  jist  grand  at  furrst,  the  boat  shlipped 
alahng  t'roo  the  wather  so  aisy,  but  afther  a 
phwoile  a  bit  iv  a  wind  kirn  alahng  an'  the 
t'ing  tipped  up  an  the  soide  till  the  other 
soide  was  ahl  in  the  wather  an'  Oi  scramed 
out  : 

"  '  Millia  murrther  !  We'  11  ahl  be  shpilt  in 
the  wather  !  'Tis  goin'  over  ut  is  ! ' 

"  But  the  felly  an'  Mary  Ann  oanly 
laughed  at  me,  an'  Mary  Ann  towld  me  O'id 
niver  1'arrn  to  be  a  shport  if  Oi  moinded  a 
little  t'ing  loike  that.  So  I  throyed  to 
kape  shtill,  but  to  sa-ave  the  loife  iv  me  Oi 
cudn't  kape  from  littin'  out  a  yell,  ivery 
toime  the  cra-azy  t'ing  tipped  up.  Oi  was 
just  beginnin'  t'  git  over  me  freight  a  bit 
phwin  the  felly  yelled  : 


7o  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  '  Riddy  about !  '  an*  Mary  Ann  scrames 
out,  '  Duck,  Maw  ! ' 

"'Phwere?"  Oi  siz,  an'  Oi  was  lukin' 
around  to  see  the  duck  phwin  Oi  was  knocked 
flat  wid  a  crack  on  the  head  from  a  t'ing 
they  cahls  the  '  buhm,'  an'  shure  'twas 
roightly  na-amed  !  Oi  t'ought  it  was  kilt  Oi 
was  intoirly  an'  I  scrayched  bloody  murr- 
ther,  but  they  towld  me  'twas  because  Oi 
didn't  duck  me  hid  phwin  the  boat  turrned 
round.  After  that  Oi  sat  down  an  the  flure 
iv  the  boat  phwere  the  buhm  t'ing  cudn't 
rache  me  an'  shpint  the  toime  sayin'  me 
prayers  till  we  was  sa-afe  an  shore  ag'in. 
'Twas  the  last  toime  Oi  throid  annyiv  thim 
t'ings,  or  Mary  Ann  ayther.  Oi  put  me  fut 
down  thin  an'  there,  an'  she  didn't  dare  go 
agin  me. 

"  Moast  toimes  Oi  did  be  sittin'  in  arockin' 
cha-air  an  the  piazzy  wid  the  other  ould 
wimmun. 

"  Ahl  the  rist  iv  thim  had  a  bit  iv  fancy 
wurrk  t*  be  doin'.  Oi  had  nothin'  to  do, 
barrin'  a  few  socks  t'  mind  that  Oi  was 
afther  shlippin'  in  my  thrunk,  but  Mary  Ann 
wouldn't  lave  me  do  thim,  excipt  in  me 
room,  so  Oi  had  to  sit  an'  thwurrl  me  t'umbs 
an'  listen  to  the  talk  ;  an'  iv  ahl  the  Tom- 


Mrs.  Casey  at  a  Summer  Hotel.     71 

my-rot  it  was,  Mrs.  Flanigan  !  Oi'm  tillin' 
ye  thrue,  Oi  niver  heard  the  loike  !  Phwin 
they  wud  be  talkin'  about  choilder,  Oi  cud 
mix  in  a  bit  an'  injy  mesilf,  but  I  had  no  in- 
therest  in  sairvints,  havin'  noane  iv  me 
oahn,  an'  the  moast  iv  their  talk  was  about 
divoorsis,  an'  who  was  goin'  with  some  other 
man's  woife  and  the  scandilliss  t'ings  that 
did  be  sid  iv  this  gairrl  an'  that,  and  sich 
loike  shtuff,  till  Oi  was  sick  at  me  shtum- 
mick,  an*  the  oanly  raysin  Oi  shtayed  wid 
thim  at  ahl  was  t*  be  kapin'  thim  from 
roonin'  me  oahn  rippyta-ashin  an'  Mary 
Ann's.  'Twud  not  have  been  healt'y  fer 
thim  t'  have  sid  annyt'ing  agin  her,  the  dar- 
lin' !  Ye  shud  have  sane  her  !  There  wasn't 
fellies  enough  t'  go  around  an'  the  gairrls 
was  all  buzzin'  around  the  two  or  t'ree  that 
was  there,  loike  floys  round  a  molassis  joog. 
But  it  wasn't  lahng  before  Mary  Ann  had 
wan  or  other  iv  thim  moast  iv  the  toime 
('tis  the  winnin'  way  she  has)  an*  phwin  Sath- 
erday  noight  ca-ame  an'  there  was  a  who-ale 
'bus  load  coom  up  from  the  city,  she  had  ahl 
the  parrtners  she  wanted  fer  the  hop,  an'  Oi 
was  that  proud  av  her  Oi  was  near  bustin', 
she  luked  so  purrty,  and  danced  so  aisy 
loike. 


72  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"Yis,  there  was  plinty  of  gairrls  there 
that  wud  have  been  purrty  if  ye  ga-ave  them 
half  a  chanst.  But  'tisn't  stoylish  to  have 
a  good  complickshun  army  moare,  in  the 
soomer  toime.  The  blacker  an'  more  frickled 
ye  arre,  an'  the  tougher  ye  look  the  shweller 
ye  arre — ixcipt  avenins.  Ye  cud  see  plinty 
iv  shwell  rags  thin. 

"  The  furrst  marrnin'  afther  we  got  there 
Oi  was  sittin'  an  the  piazzy  an  Oi  sane 
Mary  Ann  shpakin'  wid  a  big  gairrl  wid  a 
dhrabbled  sharrt  skurrt  an'  big  t'ick  shoes 
an'  a  shloppy  shurrt  waist,  that  had  no  fit  to 
ut,  an'  the  shlaves  rolled  up  aboove  her 
ilbows.  Her  fa-ace  an'  arrums  were  the 
color  iv  a  roipe  timattie  an'  a  mop  iv  hairr 
was  wopsed  at  the  back  iv  her  nick,  wid  inds 
hangin'  ahl  over  her  fa-ace.  She  had  a 
lahng  poaker  in  her  hand,  an*  Oi  siz  t'  me- 
silf,  '  Phwat's  Mary  Ann  doin'  talkin'  t'  the 
sairvint  gairrl  so  f rindly  ? '  an*  Oi  wint  an' 
called  her  awa-ay,  an'  Oi  siz  to  her : 

"  '  Phwat  fer  arre  ye  bemanin*  yersilf  be 
shpakin'  to  the  hoired  gairrls  an  the  piazzies, 
phwere  the  payple  kin  see  ye  ?  '  Oi  siz.  An' 
phwat  d*  ye  t'ink  she  siz  t'  me? 

" '  Hoired  gairrl  !  "  she  siz,  '  Oh  Maw,  yer 
that  grane  Oi'll  have  to  watch  ye  or  the 


Mrs.  Casey  at  a  Summer  Hotel.     73 

cows  '11  be  aytin'  ye,'  she  siz.  '  D'  ye  know 
who  that  is  ?  That's  the  shwellest  gairrl  in 
this  hotil!'  she  siz.  Miss  Frinch,  the  rich 
porrk-packer's  daughter,' she  siz.  'Shewint 
to  boardin'  school  wid  Rosy  an'  Annie,  an* 
Oi  mit  her  at  their  house  wan  da-ay,'  she  siz. 

"  '  Phwat  does  she  be  doin'  wid  the 
poaker  ?  '  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Poaker  nothin  ! '  she  siz.  '  That's  a 
golluf  cloob !  She  do  be  a  champeen  golluf 
player  an'  is  jist  afther  playin'  a  ga-ame. 
D'  ye  moind  the  caddy  wid  her  ?  ' 

"'Phwat  ut  is?'  Oi  siz. 

"  '  The  bit  lad  wid  the  bag  iv  shticks,' 
she  siz. 

"  '  An'  phwat'll  he  do  ? '  Oi  siz. 

"  '  He  carries  the  cloobs  an'  foinds  the 
bahls  an'  ma-akes  the  tay.' 

"  '  Tay  is  ut !  That  b'y  !  *  Oi  scrayched. 
'  D'  ye  mane  t'  say  that  a  kid  loike  that 
kin  make  a  cup  o'  tay  that's  fitten  to 
dhrink?  The  saints  presairve  us  !  "  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Tis  ma-ade  out  iv  sand  t'  howld  the 
bahl  up,'  she  siz. 

"  '  Sa-and  ! '  Oi  sez.  '  Oi've  heard  iv  sugar 
ma-ade  out  iv  sand,  but  niver  tay  ! '  Oi  siz. 
'  It  must  be  sthrang  t'  howld  up  a  golluf 
bahl,  if  it's  wan  iv  thim  harrd  t'ings  Patsy 


74  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

brought  hoame  from  the  parrk  wan  day/  Oi 
siz.  '  Take  him  away ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Oi'll  kape 
the  ould  tay  caddy  Oi  brought  from  the 
ould  coonthry  an'  make  me  tay  mesilf,'  Oi  siz. 

"  But,  bedad,  'twas  Mary  Ann  had  the 
joak  an  me  the  virry  nixt  day,  fer  she  found 
me  hob-nobbin'  wid  anew  acquaintince  down 
an  the  pier.  'Twas  a  good  lukin'  gairrl 
drissed  in  the  latist  shtoyle,  wid  a  pitcher 
hat  and  a  pink  thrailin'  gown  ahl  thrimmed 
oaver  wid  la-ace.  She  luked  at  me  wid  a 
cahndescindin*  shmoile  an'  Oi  siz  to  her, 
'  Tis  a  foine  da-ay  !  Arre  ye  goin'  out  an  the 
wather  ? '  4  In  a  minnut,'  she  siz.  'Me 
gintleman  frind  has  gahn  afther  a  boat,'  she 
siz.  So  Oi  t'ought  Oi'd  be  havin'  a  chat  wid 
her  phwoilst  she  was  waitin'.  We  was  jist 
gett'n'  rale  chummy  an'  Oi  was  tellin'  her 
about  me  Mary  Ann  an'  how  Oi  wished  she 
was  around  to  be  matin'  her,  phvvin  anaygur 
man  rowed  up  in  a  boat,  an'  she  siz,  '  Good 
afthernoon,'  to  me,  and  lift  me.  Jist  that 
minnut  Mary  Ann  kim  down  the  pier,  and 
she  was  laughin'  fit  to  doy,  an'  she  siz  : 

"  '  Who's  your  frind  ?  '  she  siz. 

" '  Oi  fergot  t'  ax  her  na-ame,'  Oi  siz,  '  but 
phwat's  the  joak?  '  Oi  siz. 

" '  Oi   niver  t'ought  to  see  Bridget  Casey 


Mrs.  Casey  at  a  Summer  Hotel.     75 

chummin'  wid  a  colored  chambermaid  !  '  she 
siz. 

"  '  Chambermaid  !  Colored  !  '  Oi  siz. 
1  Gra-ate  da-ay  ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Oi'll  not  belave 
ut !  Oi  t'ought  'twas  oanly  tanned  she  was! 
Shure  she's  phwoiter  than  anny  iv  the 
phwoite  gairrls  Oi've  sane  here !  ' 

"  Then  she  laughed  till  the  tears  was 
roonin'  down  the  fa-ace  iv  her,  an'  Oi  was 
that  mad  Oi  cudn't  shpake  at  ahl  at  ahl. 

"  At  lasht  she  siz,  phwin  she  cud  shtop 
laughin'  lahng  enough  to  git  her  brith, 

'"'Tis  Lucindy,  the  chambermaid  that's 
an  the  flure  above  us,  an'  she  does  be  havin' 
her  afthernoon  out,  wid  her  young  man,  an' 
him  wan  iv  the  waithers  ! '  Phwat  d'ye  t'ink 
iv  that  ? 

"  Shpakin'  iv  waithers,  Oi'll  have  to  be 
tellin'  ye  me  ixpayrince  wid  thim.  Oi  niver 
did  be  aytin'  in  a  hotil  befoor,  an'  Oi  was 
sheared  shtiff  fer  fear  Oi'd  be  disgra-acin*  my- 
silf  be  doin'  somethin'  that  wasn't  good 
forrum,  as  Mary  Ann  cahls  ut,  so  Oi  near 
shtarved  mesilf  the  furrst  da-ay  or  two  aytin' 
so  shlow  loike  an'  pertikler.  Oi'd  lave  Mary 
Ann  till  the  waither  phwat  Oi  wanted,  an' 
the  shtuff  was  good  enough  moast  toimes, 
though  Oi  cud  be  cookin'  ut  betther  mesilf, 


76  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

and  'twas  a  bit  shkimpy.  A  shloice  iv  mate> 
so  t'in  ye  cud  see  t'roo  ut,  an'  a  dab  iv  pratie, 
an'  a  dab  o'  this  an'  a  dab  o'  that,  ahl  sit'n 
round  yer  pla-ate  in  burrd's  bath  toobs. 
Afther  a  phwoile  Oi  got  on  to  the  caper  iv  ut, 
an'  Oi  wud  have  been  able  t'  ate  a  shquare 
male  but  fer  the  naygur  a  shtandin'  behoind 
me,  or  be  me  soide,  a  watchin'  ivery  boite  Oi 
did  be  ta-akin.'  That  was  near  dhroivin'  me 
woild,  an'  at  last  Oi  cudn't  shtand  it  no  lahn- 
ger,  an'  Oi  siz, 

" '  Git  awa-ay  from  the  back  iv  me  ye 
black  divil  ye  ! '  Oi  siz.  '  How  kin  Oi  ate, 
wid  youse  lukin'  at  me  ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Go  chase 
yersilf  t'  the  kitchun  !  '  Oi  siz.  An'  he  wint. 
But  the  throuble  was,  afther  that  he  was 
niver  round  phwin  he  was  wanted,  an'  'twas 
lahng  we  had  to  wait  soomtoimes  t'  git 
soomthin'  t'  ate. 

"  Wan  day  in  pertikler,  Mary  Ann  was 
gahn  to  a  picnic  wid  some  iv  the  young 
payple  an'  Oi  had  to  go  t'  me  dinner  aloan. 
Oi  sat  in  me  pla-ace  an'  waited  an'  waited  an' 
sorra  a  toime  did  thecrayther  coomnearme, 
though  he  was  afther  waitin'  an  the  Jew 
la-ady  that  sat  acrass  the  table.  Oi  was  that 
shtarved  Oi  was  near  aytin'  me  knoife  an' 
fork  (the  air  up  there  does  be  givin'  ye  sich 


Mrs.  Casey  at  a  Summer  Hotel.     77 

an  appytoite,  'tis  somethin'  fierce !).  At 
lasht  Oi  siz  to  the  Jew  la-ady, 

"  '  Phwat  kin  Oi  be  doin  t*  the  black- 
gyarrd,'  Oi  siz,  '  to  ma-ake  him  bring  me  me 
dinner?  '  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Have  ye  tipped  'im  ?  '  she  siz.  '  They'll 
do  nothin*  fer  ye  unliss  ye  tip  thim,'  an'  she 
tipped  me  a  shloy  wink  t'  show  me  phwat 
she  mint. 

"  Well,  'twas  bilin'  mad  Oi  was,  an'  Oi  kim 
near  lavin'  the  pla-ace  widout  annyt'ing. 
To  t'ink  iv  me — Mrs.  Aldherman  Casey,  be- 
manin'  hersilf  t'  be  tippin'  winks  at  a  black 
man  !  Shades  iv  me  ant-sisthers,  Mrs. 
Flanigan,  but  'twas  a  harrd  pill  to  shwally  ! 
But — doant  ye  till  ut  an  me — Oi  done  ut !  " 

"  Sha-ame  till  ye,  Mrs.  Casey  !  "  ejaculated 
Mrs.  Flanigan,  with  righteous  indignation. 

"  Shure  Oi'm  burnin*  wid  sha-ame  this 
minnut,  Mrs.  Flanigan,  wid  t'inkin'  iv  ut. 
But  ye  niver  know  phwat  ye'll  be  doin' 
phwin  ye're  shtarvin'.  Oi  waited  till  he 
coom  near  the  ta-able  an'  thin  Oi  caught  his 
oye  an'  Oi  tipped  him  a  shmall  bit  iv  a  wink, 
but  it  niver  pha-ased  'im,  so  Oi  tuk  a  good 
grip  iv  me  chair,  and  though  Oi  could  fale 
me  face  gittin'  the  color  of  a  bate,  Oi  tipped 
him  another  wan,  a  big,  bowld,  bad  wink  that 


78  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

squinched  up  the  whoale  soide  iv  me  fa-ace, 
jist  loike  that !  Aivin'  that  didn't  fitch  him, 
but  he  shtopped  in  his  thracks  wid  a  big 
thray  iv  dishes  he  was  shwingin'  around  in 
the  airr  an  his  hand  till  'twud  ma-ake  ye 
dizzy,  an*  he  luked  at  me  fer  a  minnut  wid 
his  eyes  near  poppin'  out  iv  his  hid,  an'  thin 
he  showed  a  row  iv  tathe  ye  could  button  in 
the  back,  an*  lit  out  fer  the  kitchen,  gigglin' 
an'  chucklin'  to  bate  the  band.  Oi  was  that 
mad  .at  the  crayther  Oi  could  have  kilt  him 
an  the  sphot,  but  manetoime  Oi  wasn't  git- 
tin'  me  dinner,  so  Oi  luked  around  in  dish- 
pa-are  to  foind  soom  hilp  soom  pla-ace,  phwin 
me  oye  loighted  an  the  yally  felly  that 
bosses  all  the  other  waiters.  'Twas  him  that 
did  be  chuvvin'  the  cha-air  undher  me  ivery 
toime  Oi  kim  to  the  table.  The  furrst 
toime  we  kim  in  t'  the  doinin'  room,  he 
beckoned  us  wid  his  finger,  loike  this,  an' 
danced  over  to  a  ta-able  in  the  carrner  and 
jurrked  back  a  cha-air.  He  grinned  an'  luked 
so  shloy  loike,  Oi  was  fearin'  some  thrick,  an' 
Oi  siz,  '  Doant  ye  da-are  snatch  the  cha-air 
from  undher  me,  ye  ould  laddybuck ! '  Oi 
siz.  '  Oi'm  an  t'  yces ! '  Oi  siz.  An'  Oi 
grabbed  ut  wid  boath  hands  befoor  Oi'd  sit 
me  down,  phwin  shoo  !  Oi  was  shcooped  up 


Mrs.  Casey  at  a  Summer  Hotel.     79 

in  ut  loike  a  chuvvle  iv  coals,  an'  me  fate 
lifted  clane  ahf  the  flure  an'  me  jammed  up 
t'  the  table  wid  a  napkin  an'  a  glass  iv  oice 
wather  in  front  iv  me  befoor  ye  cud  wink. 

"  Well,  as  Oi  was  tillin'  ye,  Oi  sane  him 
lukin'  at  me  an'  Oi  siz  to  mesilf,  '  Oi'll  see 
phwat  kin  be  done  wid  youse,  me  b'y  ! '  So 
Oi  done  wan  moare  wink.  Oi  shwore  it 
shud  be  me  last,  if  Oi  doid  iv  shta-arvashin. 
'Twas  an  illigint  wan,  Oi  do  be  tellin'  ye, 
Mrs.  Flanigan,  an'  it  did  the  bisness  !  He 
started  fer  me  as  if  soomwan  had  hit  him  a 
poonch  in  the  back,  an',  siz  he  : 

"  '  Is  there  annyt'ing  ye're  afther  wantin' 
mum  ? ' 

'"  Shure  t'ing  !  '  Oi  siz.  '  Oi'm  afther 
wantin'  me  dinner  for  near  an  hour  !  '  Oi  siz, 
'  an'  Oi'd  thank  ye  to  be  tillin'  wan  iv  thim 
lazy  black  lubbers  t'git  busy  an'  fitch  me  a 
boite  t'  ate  befoor  Oi  faint  wid  hoonger  ! '  Oi 
siz.  An'  he  done  ut. 

"  Phwoile  Oi  was  aytin'  ut,  Oi  got  to  t'ink- 
in',  an'  Oi  siz  to  mesilf,  '  How  is  ut  that 
Mary  Ann  gits  waited  an  so  aisy  ?  '  Oi  niver 
caught  her  winkin',  and  she'd  betther  not 
throy  ut !  Oi'd  lave  the  pla-ace  quick  !  Me 
Mary  Ann  to  be  winkin'  at  anny  man,  lit 
aloan  the  loikes  iv  thim  ! ' 


8o  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  But  Oi  t'ought  Oi'd  watch  the  nixt  toime 
an'  see.  So  Oi  did.  An'  if  ye'll  belave  me, 
Mrs.  Flanigan,  she  niver  so  much  as  luked 
at  wan  o'  thim,  but  she  laid  a  quarther  down 
besoide  her  pla-ate,  an'  he  tuk  it  with  a  grin, 
an'  thin  he  cudn't  do  enough  fer  us!  Luk 
at  that  now  fer  shmartniss  !  'Tis  oanly  Mary 
Ann  cud  t'ink  to  do  a  t'ing  loike  that !  She 
bought  him  ahf  ye  see,  so  she'd  not  be  havin* 
to  wink  at  'im !  Phwoy  cudn't  Oi  have 
t'ought  to  be  doin'  that  ?  " 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

MRS.  CASEY'S  TELEPHONE. 

"  PHWAT'S  the  box  on  the  wa-ahl,  Mrs. 
Casey  ?  " 

"  That  there  ?  That  do  be  me  new  tilly- 
phoan,  Mrs.  Flanigan.  Did  ye  niver  shpake 
wid  wan  ?  " 

"  Oi  niver  laid  me  oyes  an  wan,  lit  aloan 
convarsin'  wid  ut.  'Tis  too  foine  ye're  gitten 
for  the  loikes  iv  me,  Mrs.  Casey,  wid  yer 
tillyphoans." 

"  Aw,  niver  at  ahl  at  ahl,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ! 
'Tis  noane  iv  moy  doin's  anny  how.  Ye  see, 
since  thim  Fogartys  kim  into  the  block, 
Mary  Ann  has  bin  woild  to  have  a  tilly- 
phoan  beca'se  they  has  wan,  an'  she  lift  me 
no  pace  wid  her  tazin'.  '  They're  jist  grand, 
Maw,'  she  siz.  '  Ye  can  talk  to  Paw  at  the 
ahfice  phwiniver  ye  loike,  an'  to  the  grocery 
an'  bootcher,  an'  ahl  yer  frinds,  widout  lavin' 
the  place.'  She  tazed  and  tazed,  an'  ye 
know  she  has  always  the  winnin'  way  wid 
her,  ispishilly  wid  her  Paw,  so  at  last  he  con- 
6  81 


82  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

sinted,  an'  'twas  put  in.  Wud  ye  loike  to 
shpake  wid  ut  ?" 

"  Hiven  ferbid  !•  Oi'll  have  nothin'  to 
do  wid  thim  divil  michanes !  'Tis  shpooks 
that's  in  thim,  shpakin'  wid  the  v'ices  iv 
livin  payple  !  Ye  naden't  throy  to  till  me 
that  ye  kin  shpake  wid  yer  man  down  town 
t'roo  that  bit  iv  a  box  1  'Tis  the  ould  b'y 
himself  that's  foolin*  ye,  that's  ahl  !  " 

"  Sorra  a  bit  iv  him,  Mrs.  Flanigan  !  Wait 
now  till  Oi  show  ye  !  " 

Going  over  to  the  telephone,  Mrs.  Casey 
carefully  took  down  the  receiver  and  rever 
ently  adjusted  it  to  her  ear.  Putting  her 
mouth  as  close  to  the  'phone  as  possible,  she 
shouted  : 

"  '  Give  me  siven  twinty-wan,  forty-foive  ! ' 
Ye  see,  Mrs.  Flanigan,  ye  always  have  to 
wait  fer  thim  to  cahl  him  up." 

"  Hilloh  yersilf !  Is  that  Gilhooley  an' 
Casey's  ?  Is  Aldherman  Casey  annyphwere 
about  the  pla-ace  ?  No  ?  Throy  Misther 
Ryan's  ahfice  thin — Howld  the  phoan,  is 
ut  ?  Shure  Oi'm  doin'  that  sa-ame !  It'll 
not  git  away  from  the  loikes  iv  me ! 
Phwat's  that  ?  He's  not  there  ?  It's  in 
the  billiard  saloon  acrass  the  sthrate  he'll 
be  thin  !  'Tis  there  he  do  be  goin'  ahftin 


Mrs.  Casey's  Telephone.          83 

iv  a  Satherday  afternoon.  Roon  oaver  fer 
him,  that's  a  foine  b'y '.  Till  him  it's  his 
oahn  woife  Bridget  that'll  be  shpakin'  to 
him,  on  a  matther  iv  loife  an'  dith  !  (It'll 
take  that  to  fitch  him  Mrs.  Flanigan,  if  he's 
playin' a  ga-ame  !  Shure  Oi  know  him  !) — 
Hilloh!  Is  that  yersilf,  Moike  ?  Yis,  it's 
mesilf  shpakin'  to  ye  !  Mrs.  Flanigan's  here 
an'  she's  misdoubtin'  that  Oi  cud  shpake  to 
ye  t'roo  the  bit  iv  a  box,  so  Oi'm  showin' 
her— Yis,  that's  all  Oi  wanted— Phwat !  Oi'll 
not  do  ut !  Go  there  yersilf !  Shame  till  ye 
to  be  shwearin*  in  coompany  !  It's  a  noice 
polite  man  ye  arre,  to  be  talkin'  loike  that 
to  the  woife  that — no!  Oi'll  not  dhroy  up  ! 
It's  a  baste  ye  arre  to  be  usin'  sich  wurrds 
to  the  loikes  iv  me,  that  shtays  hoame  loike 
a  daycint  wumman  and  cooks  fer  ye  and 
sa-aves  an'  shla-aves  that  ye  may  shpind  yer 
toime  playin'  billiards  an'  poaker  an'  the  ould 
b'y  knows  phwat ! — No  !  Oi'll  not  ring  ahf  ! 
Who  are  you  that  does  be  mixin'  in  phwin 
a  gintleman  an'  his  woife  is  afther  havin'  a 
quoit  cahnversa-ashin'  !  Oi'll  sind  a  com 
plaint,  an'  have  ye  foired,  ye  sassy  jade  ! 
Hilloh  !  Hillo— ooh,  Moike  !  Moike  !  Oi 
say!  Shure  he's  galia!"  and  Mrs.  Casey 
reluctantly  hung  up  the  receiver. 


84  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  Well,  an'  phwat  do  ye  t'ink  now?" 

"Bedad,  it  do  be  havin'  ahl  the  symptims 
iv  Moike,  but  Oi'm  not  convinced." 

"Shure  ye  must  be  wan  iv  thim  acrostics 
that  Mary  Ann  was  tillin'  av,  that  doant 
know  annyt'ing  and  doant  belave  in  anny- 
t'ing!" 

Mrs.  Flanigan  reached  for  her  shawl  and 
started  for  the  door. 

"  Oi  didn't  coom  here  to  be  cahled  na- 
ames,  Mrs.  Casey  !  " 

"  Aw  sit  aisy,  Mrs.  Flanigan  !  Can't  ye 
be  takin'  a  joak  from  an  ould  frind  ?  " 

"  Joaks  isjoaks,  an'  na-ames  is  na-ames  ! 
An'  Oi'll  not  be  towld  Oi  doant  know  anny 
t'ing  jist  beca'se  Oi  doan't  be  approvin'  iv 
the  devoices  iv  the  Avil  Wan  !  " 

"  'Twas  no  offince  Oi  mint  at  ahl !  Have 
another  cup  o'  tay  an'  fergit  ut !  Oi'll  sind 
oaver  to  the  grocery  fer  some  ginger  ca  akes." 

Somewhat  mollified,  though  with  some 
demurring,  Mrs.  Flanigan  consented  to  re 
main. 

Mrs.  Casey  went  to  the  telephone  and 
called  up  the  corner  grocery. 

"Hilloh!  Is  that  yersilf,  Mrs.  Flynn  ? 
It's  Mrs.  Casey — Yis,  jist  that  sa-ame ! 
How's  the  ould  man  ?  Is  that  so  ?  Tuk 


Mrs.  Casey's  Telephone.          85 

down  wid  faver !  Aw  wurra,  wurra !  that's 
bad  !  Oi'll  roon  oaver  this  avenin'.  Scare 
t'roat  did  ye  say  ?  Try  a  pork  rhoind  till  ut 
— yis — yis — that's  roight,  but  casther  ile  is 
betther — Wan  yard — yis — rid,  wid  black 
thrimmin's — Oh  yis,  t'ree  toimes  a  da-ay — 
Phwat's  that  ?  Twins,  did  ye  say  ?  Proud's 
the  da-ay  !  Mrs.  Flanigan's  here — She  does 
be — Ye  doant  sa-ay  so  !  Oi  wud'nt  belave 
it  iv  her — the  loiar  !  " 

"An*  if  it's  mesilf  ye're  gassipin'  about," 
broke  in  Mrs.  Flanigan  at  this  point,  "  Oi'll 
lave  yez  to  ca-all  names  to  yer  hairrt's  con- 
tint,  ye  ould  scandil  monger  !  " 

"  Aw  whist  will  ye,  ye  ould  crank ! 
'Tisn't  you  at  ahl  at  ahl  !  'Twas  Mrs. 
O'Shea  was  afther  tillin'  the  Flynns  she  saw 
yer  man  dhrunk,  an' — Jiowld  an  there  ! — it's 
not  t'roo  shpakin'  Oi  am  !  Mrs.  Flynn  !  Aw 
Mrs.  Flynn  !  Mrs.  Flynn,  Oi  say  !  Bad  cess 
to  thim  !  They've  shut  me  ahf !  But  isn't 
it  a  gra-ate  convayn-yince,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ?  " 

"  An'  fer  what  ?     Oi  doant  see  no  cakes  !  " 

"  Aw  shure  !  Oi  fergot  the  ca-akes  !  Oi'll 
sind  Mickey  oaver  fer  thim." 

"  'Twud  have  been  aisier  to  do  that  sa-ame 
in  the  furrst  pla-ace,  Oi'm  t'inkin'." 

"  But  'tis  so  sociable  loike  to  have  a  bit  iv 


86  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

a  chin  wid  the  tillyphoan.  There's  soom 
wan  ringin*  fer  me  now — Hilloh!  Yis — yis 
— no,  ut's  Casey's — Casey 's,  Oi  say  !  Who  is 
ut  shpakin'  d'ye  sa-ay  ?  An'  who  shud  it  be 
but  Bridget  Casey,  woife  iv  Aldherman 
Casey  !  An'  who  are  you  ?  Faith,  Oi  towld 
ye  wanst  who  Oi  am — quit  rattlin'  that  doice 
box  in  me  ear  an*  howld  yer  whist  ! — Oi'm 
Bridget  Casey,  Mrs.  Aldherman  Casey,  an 
Oi  weigh  two  hundred  pounds  an'  Oi'm 
goin'  an  forrty  siven  years  ould  an'  rid 
hidded  !  An'  is  it  annyt'ing  ilse  ye'd  be 
loikin'  to  know,  Oi  dinnaw  ?  Ye  doant 
want  me  !  Well,  ye  cud'nt  git  me  if  ye  did  ! 
Ring  ahf  yersilf !  Phwat  d'ye  mane  be  dis- 
thurbin'  daycint  payple  that's  havin*  a  quoit 
sup  o'  tay  iv  an  afthernoon  ?  Quit  shwearin* ! 
Oi'll  not  shtop  to  hear  ye  !  "  And  Mrs. 
Casey  indignantly  hung  up  the  receiver. 

"  Who  was  ut  ?  Faith  Oi  dinnaw  at  ahl, 
at  ahl.  Oi  doant  wish  to  be  cooltivatin' 
the  acquaintince  iv  anny  wan  that  shpakes 
langwudge  iv  sich  a  cham^ther !  The 
baste !  " 

"  Oi'm  t'inkin'  ye're  not  lackin'  fer  shindies 
wid  yer  new  t'y." 

"No,  we  has  a-plinty,  ispishilly  phwin 
Himsilf  gits  to  lambastin*  the  bootcher 


Mrs.  Casey's  Telephone.          87 

t'roo  ut  fer  not  sindin'  the  mate  in  toime 
fer  dinner,  an'  t'rowin'  boka-ays  at  the 
pa-aper  hanger  fer  not  kapin'  his  promus  to 
coom  an'  pa-aper  the  parrlor  iv  a  Monda-ay 
marrnin'. 

"Who'll  that  be  now?  Hilloh  !  No, 
Larry's  not  hoame  yit !  'Tis  Mrs.  Casey 
shpakin' !  An' who  arre  you  ?  Phwat  ?  Dinny 
Flanigan  ?  Gra-ate  da-ay  !  but  that's  luck  ! 
Here's  yer  mother  wid  me !  Wud  ye  be 
afther  shpakin  wid  her  ?  All  roight  !  'Tis 
yer  oahn  Dinny  that's  shpakin',  Mrs.  Flani 
gan  !  He  was  cahlin'  up  Larry  an'  didn't 
know  ye  were  here.  Coom  an'  shpake  wid 
him  !  " 

"  Aw  it's  fearful  Oi  am,  Mrs.  Casey  !  Oi'll 
not  go  near  ut  ! 

"  Think  sha-ame  to  yersilf  fer  a  fra-aid  cat  ! 
Phwat  harrum  cud  it  do  ye?  Coom  an 
now  !  " 

After  a  little  more  persuasion  Mrs.  Flani 
gan  allowed  her  curiosity  to  get  the  better 
of  her  fears  and  advanced  with  much  cau 
tion,  and  backing  and  filling,  to  the  neigh 
borhood  of  the  much  dreaded  instrument. 
She  accepted  the  receiver  gingerly,  as  if  she 
xvas  afraid  it  would  burn  her,  and  stood 
ready  to  drop  it  and  run,  on  the  first  indica- 


88  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

tion  of  sinister  motive  on  the  part  of  the 
malevolent  monster. 

"  Hello,  mother!  "  came  the  voice  of  her 
son,  through  the  receiver. 

Mrs.  Flanigan  jumped  a  foot  from  the 
floor. 

"  Millia  murrther!  Dinny !  Is  it  ra-aly 
yersilf  ?  " 

"  Shure  t'ing  !  Put  yer  mouth  near  the 
hole  in  the  box  whin  ye  talk  to  me  an  Oi'll 
hear  ye  better  !  " 

"  Aw,  Dinny,  b'y  !  Arre  ye  shut  up  in  that 
bit  iv  a  box?  Coom  out  quick  or  I'll  be 
gittin'  a  hatchut  to  smash  the  fa-ace  iv  ut!  " 

"  Haw-haw  !  box  nothin'  !  I'm  down  at 
the  works,  five  miles  away  from  ye." 

"  Foive  moiles!  Glory  to  goodness! 
Doant  till  me  no  loys !  Oi  always  knew 
ye  had  a  big  loud  v'ice,  but  Oi  niver  t'ought 
Oi  cud  hear  ut  foive  moiles,  begorra  !  Oi'll 
not  belave  ut  !  It's  in  the  box  ye  arre, 
hoidin'  from  me !  Coom  out,  ye  thafe  iv 
the  wurrld !  Quit  laughin*  at  me,  ye  impi- 
dint — Ouch  !  It's  kilt  Oi  am  intoirely  !  Me 
ear  dhrum's  busted  !  "  and  Mrs.  Flanigan 
dropped  the  receiver,  and,  holding  her  in 
jured  ear  with  both  hands,  put  the  width  of 
the  room  between  her  and  the  satanic 


Mrs.  Casey's  Telephone.          89 

machine  upon  which  she  poured  volleys  of 
vehement  and  voluble  wrath.  All  explana 
tions  of  the  phenomena  connected  with  tele 
phones  were  insufficient  to  appease  her,  and 
she  positively  declined  to  have  "  more 
spache  wid  ut,  aiven  if  it  do  be  the  Angel 
Ga-abril  himsilf  in  the  bit  iv  a  box !  " 


CHAPTER   IX. 

A   BROKEN    ENGAGEMENT. 

THE  arrival  of  Mickey  with  the  ginger 
cakes  proved  an  opportune  diversion,  and 
her  indignation  being  drowned  in  several 
copious  installments  of  "  tay,"  Mrs.  Flani- 
gan  was  able  to  listen  with  equanimity  and 
interest  to  her  hostess'  account  of  her  own 
initiation  into  the  mysteries  of  telephon 
ing. 

"  Shure  Oi  was  schared  iv  ut  mesilf  phwin 
'twas  furrst  pit  in,  it  did  same  that  oncanny, 
an'  they  was  always  makin'  quare  noises 
loike  the  koind  ye  heard,  that  made  me 
joomp  wid  freight.  But  Oi  got  used  to 
ut  afther  a  phwoile,  an'  now  Oi  give  them 
as  good  as  they  sind.  Thim  gairrls  at  the 
Cinthral  bees  that  sassy  soomtoimes  though, 
Oi'd  loike  to  be  layin'  me  two  hands  an 
thim,  the  jades!  It  does  be  throyin  to  me 
dispisishin  to  have  wa:i  ivthim  cut  in  jist  as 
yer  cahnversa-ashin  is  gittin'  intherestin', 
90 


A  Broken  Engagement.          91 

wid  "  Arre  yez  t'roo  ?  'Tis  tin  minutes  yez 
be  afther  shpakin  ! '  as  if  'twas  anny  iv  their 
business  ! 

"  'Tis  Mary  Ann  that  has  the  moast  use 
iv  ut.  Ye  see  the  Gilhooleys  has  wan,  an' 
they  do  be  always  talkin'  wid  her,  an'  they 
bees  a  lot  iv  fellies  that  cahls  her  up  wid  in- 
vitashuns  to  the  t'eatre  an'  cahncerts  an* 
t'ings  loike  thim.  Tom  Donavan?  Oh  no, 
didn't  ye  know?  She's  not  goin*  wid  him 
anny  moare.  She  broke  wid  him  a  phwoile 
back.  He's  not  foine  enough  fer  her,  an' 
she'd  not  listen  to  me  phwin  Oi  towld  her 
he  was  too  good  fer  the  loikes  iv  her. 

"  '  He's  good  enough,  Oi  doant  denoy 
that,'  she  siz,  '  but  he  do  be  that  commin- 
pla-ace  an'  shtupid,  Oi  can't  pit  up  wid  him.' 
That's  phwat  cooms  iv  iddicatin'  yer  gairrls 
aboove  their  oahn  koind  iv  payple,  Mrs. 
Flanigan.  There's  nothin'  good  enough  fer 
thim  in  their  oahn  class,  and  they're  not 
good  enough  fer  the  nixt  class,  so  there  ye 
arre,  hung  up  in  the  middle,  wid  no  pla-ace 
annyphwere  ! 

"Have  ye  sane  him  since?"  asked  Mrs. 
Flanigan. 

"  Niver  wanst.  He'd  not  be  coomin'  here, 
ye  know." 


92  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  An'  did  ye  know  'twas  comin'  ?  That 
she  was  goin'  to  break  wid  him  ?  " 

"  Oi  knew  that  she  was  onaisy,  but  Oi 
hoped  she'd  git  oaver  ut.  Ye  see  'twas  her 
goin'  wid  the  Gilhooleys  so  much.  Now 
Oi've  nothin'  to  sa-ay  ag'in  the  Gilhooleys. 
They  bees  ahl  roight,  an'  the  gairrls  manes 
well,  but  goin'  so  much  in  fashnibble  sas- 
soyty,  they  do  be  gettin'  snippy  noshins,  an' 
ye  nade  to  sit  thim  down  good  an*  harrd 
now  an"  thin.  Iv  coorse  we  do  be  much 
beholden  to  thim  ahl,  ispishilly  Mary  Ann, 
an'  she  swears  be  thim.  Well,  they  niver 
tuk  to  Tom.  An'  'twas  shmall  blame  t'  thim 
fer  t'inkin'  him  shtupid,  fer  whin  they  ca-ame, 
an'  him  in  the  house,  'twas  sorra  the  wurrd 
he'd  shpake.  He  cud  talk  well  enough 
among  thim  that  knew  him,  an'  'twas  worth 
hearin',  the  tales  he'd  be  tellin'  ye,  iv  loife 
in  the  city  as  he  knew  ut  in  his  wurrk  ;  an' 
manny's  the  toime  Oi've  sat  wid  me  hairrt 
in  me  mout'  an'  the  tear  in  me  oye  as 
he'd  tell  iv  the  rough  toimes  he'd  had,  or  suf- 
ferin'  he'd  sane,  an'  'twas  niver  wid  boastin', 
but  alwa-ays  he'd  be  kapin'  back  the  pairts 
that  he'd  done,  or  makin'  ut  so  little  ye'd 
fergit  about  ut. 

"  But  he  cudn't  talk  iv  books,  or  Airrt,  or 


A  Broken  Engagement.          93 

pla-ays,  or  sassoyty  payple  or  doin's,  an'  he 
wasn't  a  bit  iv  a  shmall  talker.  So  phwin 
they'd  begin  an  the  loike  iv  thim  t'ings,  he'd 
sit  loike  a  did  man,  an*  luk  about  as  in- 
theristin'  as  a  wooden  Injin.  Thinhecudn't 
dance,  no  more  than  an  illyphint,  so  they 
niver  axed  him  to  their  dancin'  parrthies 
wid  Mary  Ann.  So  ye  see,  bein'  young 
t'ings  that  wa-ay,  an'  not  havin'  the  sinse  t' 
luk  dape  down  fer  the  rale  man  that  was 
in  him,  it  was  not  surproisin'  they  t'ought 
he  was  comminpla-ace  an'  ignorint  an' 
shtupid. 

"  Oi  cud  see  that  it  was  a  throil  to  Mary 
Ann,  fer  she  wanted  him  to  show  ahf  well 
befoor  her  foine  frinds,  an'  she  siz  to  him 
wanst,  afther  they  was  gahn, 

"  '  Tom,  Oi'm  goin't'  have  a  foire  cracker,  or 
a  hat  pin  or  soomthin'  t'  rouse  ye  wid,  nixt 
toime  there  do  be  coompany.  Phwoy  can't 
ye  spake  up  fer  yersilf  ?  ' 

"  '  Molly,  me  gairrl,  'tis  a  fish  out  iv  wather 
Oi  am  wid  thim  payple,'  he  siz.  '  Their 
wurrld's  not  moy  wurrld  nor  moine  theirs. 
We've  nothin*  in  common  but  the  love  iv 
you,  an'  that  Oi  can't  be  makin'the  soobjict 
iv  sassoyty  cahn-ver-sa-a-shin.' 

"  That  shut  her  up,  but   Oi  cud  see  she 


94  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

was  changin'  in  her  falin'  to  him,  an'  it  wor 
ried  me.  But  Oi  didn't  dare  say  much,  fer 
gairrls  is  quare,  an'  Oi  was  fearin'  Oi'd  do 
more  harrum  th'n  good. 

"  Oi  doant  know  phwat  they  sid  to  her 
(thim  gairrls  Oi  mane),  but  she  got  more  an' 
more  onaisy,  an*  Tom — he  cud  see  that  soom- 
thin'  was  wrang,  an'  it  ma-ade  him  quoiter 
thin  iver.  At  last  they  had  it  out  wan 
noight,  an*  Mary  Ann  ca-ame  up  shtairs 
phwin  he  was  gahn,  an'  siz  to  me, 

"  '  Mother/  she  siz,  'Oi've  broake  wid  Tom, 
an  plaze  doan't  ax  me  anny  queschins.  Oi 
doan't  want  to  talk  about  ut.' 

"  '  Oi  shud  t'ink  not  ! '  Oi  siz.  ('Twas  that 
mad  Oi  was  Oi  cud  have  bate  her.)  '  Go 
hang  yer  hid  wid  sha-ame  ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Ye've 
trun  down  the  bist  man  that  iver  walked  ! ' 
Oi  siz. 

"  '  Goodniss  isn't  iveryt'ing  ! '  she  siz. 

" '  Maybe  not,  but  it's  a  moighty  foine 
t'ing  t'  begin  wid  ! '  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Tom  can't  undherstand  or  apprayshate 
the  t'ings  that  Oi  inj'y,'  she  siz,'  an'  Oi  niver 
cud  be  happy  wid  him." 

"  '  Thin  it's  becase  ye  havn't  larrned  t'  in 
j'y  the  roight  t'ings,'  Oi  siz.  '  Phwin  ye  git 
oulder  an'  have  more  sinse,  ye'll  know  they 


A  Broken  Engagement.          95 

was  t'ings  about  Tom  Donovan  that  youse 
cud  nayther  undherstand  nor  apprayshate.' 

"  'Twas  no  use  talkin'  wid  her  though. 
Her  moind  was  made  up.  But  'twas  little 
shlapin'  Oi  done  the  noight. 

"  Thim  Fogartys  bees  shp'ilin'  her  too. 
Mrs.  Fogarty  an'  Dinnis  do  be  daycint  foalk, 
barrin'  their  airs,  but  that  Annie  Fogarty ! 
Oi  doan't  loike  the  luks  iv  the  crowd  she 
roons  wid.  They're  too  shporty  behalf,  an' 
if  t'  wasn't  that  Mary  Ann  bees  a  good  hanest 
gairrl  wid  no  nonsinse  about  her,  Oi'd  be 
feared  to  lave  her  shpake  wid  thim  at  ahl. 
As  it  is  Oi  kape  me  oyes  virry  woide  oapin, 
an'  me  ears  too,  phwin  Annie  cooms  here. 
She  does  be  always  invoitin'  Mary  Ann  to  go 
to  the  t'eatre,  an'  there's  a  felly  that's  kim 
hoame  wid  thim  wanst  or  twoict  that  Oi'm 
layin'  fer.  He'll  not  coom  here  soon  ag'in 
Oi'm  t'inkin.' 

"  Ye  see  Mary  Ann  was  gahn  out  wan 
da-ay  an*  Oi  was  up  shtairs  sewin',  phwin 
Jahnny  calls  up,  'Maw!  Here's  a  gint 
wants  to  shpake  wid  ye  oaver  the  phoan. 
Coom  down  quick  ! ' 

" '  Oi'll  be  there  in  a  minnut,'  Oi  siz. 
'  Wait  till  Oi  clane  mesilf  a  bit.  Oi  cudn't 
be  matin'  a  gintleman  lukin'  loike  this.'  So 


96  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

he  wint  to  the  phoan  an'  hollered,  '  Howld 
an  a  minnut !  She's  pittin*  an  her  glad  rags 
an'  she'll  be  roight  down  !  ' 

"  Phwin  Oi  got  there  Oi  siz,  '  Hilloh  ! '  an' 
a  man's  v'ice  siz,  '  Is  that  Miss  Casey?'  Oi 
rickonoized  the  v'ice  iv  the  felly  Oi  was 
tellin'ye  av,  thatkim  hoame  wid  Mary  Ann. 
Oi  was  jist  goin'  to  sa-ay,  '  No,  Mary  Ann's 
out,'  phwin  Oi  caught  mesilf  jist  in  toime, 
an'  I  t'ought, '  Oi'll  jist  be  foxy  an'  foind  out 
phwat  he'll  be  wantin'.'  So  Oi  siz,  in  me 
swatest  toanes,  '  Is  that  Mr.  Delancey  ? ' 
Ye  know  me  v'ice  is  a  bit  loike  Mary  Ann's 
phwin  Oi'm  partick'ler  to  moind  me  brogue. 
Oi  kin  sphake  that  illigint,  Mrs.  Flanigan, 
phwin  Oi  throy,  ye'd  not  belave.  Mary 
Ann  puts  me  t'roo  a  lisson  ivery  da-ay,  but 
'tis  too  much  loike  wurrk  to  be  shpakin'  that 
way  ahftin.  He  t'ought  it  was  her  all  roight 
• — Oi  sane  that  emayjitly — an'  he  siz  : 

"  '  How  arre  ye  this  marrnin'  ? '  an'  Oi  siz, 
'  Fine !  How's  yerself  ?  "  jist  loike  that. 

"'Arre  ye  aloane?'  he  siz.  'Entirely.' 
Oi  siz. 

"  '  That's  good,'  he  siz.  '  We  can  have  a 
noice  little  chat.' 

"  'So  we  can,'  siz  Oi. 

" '  Oi'd  rather  be  sittin'  besoide  ye,  little 


A  Broken  Engagement.          97 

wan,  an*  lukin*  into  yer  swate  oyes,  though ! ' 
he  siz. 

"  '  Aw  gway  !  None  of  yer  taffy  !  '  Oi 
siz. 

"  Thin  he  laughed  an'  siz,  '  Can  ye  coom 
out  for  a  sharrt  sthroll  in  the  parrk  this 
afthernoon  ?  ' 

"  '  May  be,'  Oi  siz,  '  I'll  go  and  ask  me 
Maw.' 

"  '  Pshaw  ! '  he  siz,  '  ye  doant  nade  to  ask 
the  ould  la-ady  ivery  toime  ye  move,  do  ye  ? 
Jist  say  nothin'  an'  coom  an.  We'll  have  a 
foine  toime,  an'  Oi'll  tache  ye  to  loike  taffy  ! ' 
he  siz. 

"  '  Ye  will,  will  ye,  ye  ould  shcamp  ! '  Oi 
siz,  quoite  fergittin'  me  illigint  spache,  Oi 
was  that  mad.  '  Jist  throy  it  wanst,  an' 
Oi'll  tache  ye  a  t'ing  or  two  yer  nadin'  to 
know,'  Oi  siz. 

" '  Phwat  a  delishiss  brogue  ye  have  this 
marrnin',  me  dear!'  he  siz.  '  Oi  niver 
notussed  it  befoor.' 

"  '  Oi  always  uses  the  brogue  phwin  Oi'm 
mad!'  Oi  siz,  '  an'  Oi'm  that  now  !  Doant 
ye  be  gittin'  frish  around  Mary  Ann  Casey  ! ' 
Oi  siz,  '  or  she'll  show  ye  phwere  t'  git  ahf 
at ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Take  a  back  sate  to  yersilf 
an'  sit  down  an  it,  ye  impidint  ould  fox !  Oi 
7 


98  Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

know  the  koind  iv  ould  raskil  ye  arre  now, 
an'  Oi  kin  prove  ut  !  Oi  have  ut  in  black 
an'  phwoite  over  the  tillyphoan  !  An'  doant 
ye  be  afther  showin'  yer  oogly  moog  in  this 
pla-ace  ag'in  or  ye'll  foind  that  the  ould  la-ady 
has  lost  nayther  the  flow  iv  langwudge  nor 
the  use  iv  her  hands,  begorra  ! '  " 


CHAPTER  X. 

MRS.   CASEY  AT  THE   EUCHRE   PARTY. 

"GOOD  marrnin'  Mrs.  Flanigan!  Oit'ought 
Oi'd  dhrop  in  fer  a  minnut  to  see  how  ye'd 
be  lukin'  the  da-ay.  'Tis  a  grand  day  outside, 
barrin'  the  rain.  Oh,  niver  moind  me  um- 
brelly  ;  Oi'lljist  shtand  ut  here  in  the  earner. 
Oh,  but  Oi'm  that  toired !  Yis,  Oi'll  be 
sittin'  down  a  bit. 

"  Oh,  Mrs.  Flanigan,  darlint,  Oi  do  be 
afther  havin'  the  toime  iv  me  loife  since  Oi 
saw  ye  lasht  !  Phwat  do  ye  t'ink  ?  Oi  wint 
to  a  progrissive  euchre  parrthy  last  Chuseday, 
and  phwat's  moare,  Oi  tuk  a  proize  !  Phwat 
do  ye  t'ink  o'  that !  An'  me  that  niver  had 
a  cyard  in  me  fisht  before  !  Oh,  but  'twas 
great  doin's,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ! 

"  Ye  see,  Monday  was  a  week  ago,  Mary 
Ann  was  gahn  to  her  lissons,  the  byes  was  ahl 
at  school,  and  nobody  hoame  but  me  an'  the 
ba-aby,  and  Oi  a  doin'  me  washin',  phwin 
the  bill  rang  at  the  front  dure.  Oi  shuk  the 
suds  ahf  me  hands  and  wint  to  the  dure  and 
99 


ioo          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

'twas  Rosy  an'  Annie  Gilhooley  to  see  would 
Mary  Ann  boy  a  tickut  fer  the  progrissive 
euchre  parrthy  that  the  ladies  of  St.  Pathrick's 
was  gittin'  up  fer  the  Arrphin  Assoylim. 
Oi  tuk  thim  into  the  parrlor  and  towld  thim 
Mary  Ann  wasn't  hoame,  but  Oi'd  take  a 
tickut  fer  her,  being'  that  sorry  fer  the 
Arrphins. 

"'An'woant  ye  take  a  tickut  fer  yersilf, 
Mrs.  Casey?  '  siz  Annie  Gilhooley. 

"  '  An'  phwat  wud  Oi  be  doin'  wid  ut  ?  ' 
Oi  siz.  '  Oi  niver  played  a  game  iv  cyards 
in  me  loife.' 

"  '  Oh,  git  Mary  Ann  to  tache  ye  ! '  siz  she. 
'Shure  'tis  an  aisy  game.  Anny  wan  wid  a 
bit  iv  sinse  can  larrn  it  in  an  avenin'.' 

"  Well,  Oi  didn't  t'ink  Oi'd  be  goin',  but 
Oi  sid  Oi'd  take  a  tickut.  So  Oi  wint  up 
shtairs  to  git  me  purrse  and  phwin  Oi  kim 
down  they  was  talkin'  quoit  loike,  an*  Oi 
heard  Rosy  say  to  Annie  : 

"  '  Ye  doan't  belave  she'll  coom,  do  ye  ?  ' 

"  '  No  indade,'  siz  Annie,  '  Mary  Ann 
wouldn'  lave  her,  but  it's  wan  more  tickut 
sold.' 

"  Mary  Ann  lave  me  indade !  Me  own 
choild  that  Oi  raised  to  be  that  rispictful 
and  obadjint !  Shure  Oi  was  that  mad,  Mrs. 


The   Gilhooley   Girls. 


—  rage  100 


Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Euchre  Party.   101 

Flanigan,  Oi  shtud  there  in  the  hall  vvid  me 
hands  goin'  this  way  fer  foive  minnuts  they 
was  that  achin'  to  be  bumpin'  their  sassy 
hids  togither  !  But  Oi'  siz  to  mesilf,  '  No  ! 
Oi'll  fool  yez  this  toime  !  Oi'll  show  ye  that 
Bridget  Casey'll  do  as  she  plazes,  and  she'll 
not  be  axin'  permission  iv  Mary  Ann  ayther.' 
So  phwin  Mary  Ann  kim  hoame,  Oi  gave 
her  the  tickut  Oi'd  been  afther  boyin'  fer  her, 
but  niver  a  wurrd  did  Oi  say  about  me  own. 

"  Afther  supper,  phwin  we  was  all  sittin' 
in  the  parrlor(ixcipt  Moike — he  was  gahn  to 
a  warrd  matin'),  Oi  siz,  '  Shure  its  moighty 
loansome  loike  wid  nothin'  doin'  !  '  Oi  siz  : 
'  Phwoy  doant  yez  git  out  the  cyards  and 
play  a  game  iv  euchre  ?  Oi'd  loike  to  be 
lukin'  an,'  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Yis',  siz  Mary  Ann.  '  Larry  an'  Oi,  will 
tache  Patsy  an'  Jahnny.' 

"  '  Yis  ! '  siz  Oi  to  mesilf,  '  an'  ye'll  tache 
yer  ma  too,  all  unbeknownst  to  ye.' 

"  So  they  got  the  cyards  an'  laid  thim  out. 

"  '  Thim's  the  bow  wows,'  siz  Larry,  pintin' 
at  some  iv  the  pitcher  cyards.  '  An  they'll 
take  annyt'ing  in  the  pack  barrin'  the  joaker. 
An  ye'  gotter  git  t'ree  thricks  or  ilse  ye  gits 
euchred.' 

"  '  Phwat's    euchred  ?  '  siz    Johnny.     '  It's 


IO2          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

the  same  as  bated,'  siz  Larry  ;  an  he  towld 
thim  a  lot  more  about  Kings  an  Quanes  an 
Aces  an'  thrumpets  an'  passes  an'  ardhers 
till  me  hid  was  in  a  vvhurrl.  Thin  they  dilt 
the  cyards  an'  began  playin.'  Shure  it  luked 
moighty  aisy.  All  ye  had  to  do  was  to  say 
'  Oi  ardher  ut  up/  or  '  Oi  pass/  or  the  loike  iv 
that  ;  thin  they'd  aitch  lay  down  a  cyard, 
wan  afther  the  other,  till  they  was  all  gahn, 
an'  the  felly  that  had  the  joker  was  the  wan 
that  bated. 

"'Huh!'  siz  Oi  to  mesilf,  '  That's  aisy 
enough/ an  if  it  hadn't  been  fergivin'  mesilf 
away  Oi'd  have  tuk  a  hand  mesilf. 

"  '  Well,  come  a  Chuseday,  Mary  Ann  got 
drissed  an'  wint  airly,  fer  she  was  goin'  to  cahl 
fer  the  Gilhooleys,  and  the  minnut  she  was  out 
ivthe  dure  Oi  trun  mesilf  into  me  bist  duds, 
tuk  the  baby  nixt  dure,  an*  it  wasn't  tin  min- 
nuts  befoor  Oi  was  an  me  way  to  the  parrthy. 
Phwin  Oi  got  there  Oi  was  that  scared  Oi 
was  an  the  pint  iv  turnin'  back,  fer  sich  a 
crowd  iv  wimmun  ye  niver  did  see,  but  Oi 
t'ought  iv  the  joak  Oi  mint  to  have  an  thim 
sassy  Gilhooley  gairrls,  an  Oi  tuk  a  brace  to 
mesilf  an'  wint  in.  A  naygur  showed  me 
the  room  phwere  they  tuk  ahf  their  coats 
(they  all  kipt  their  bunnits  an), an'  phwin  Oi 


Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Euchre  Party.  103 

kim  out  a  gairrl  give  me  a  phwoite  tickut 
wid  a  pink  shtring  in  ut. 

"  '  Phwat's  this  ?'  Oi  siz. 

"  '  It's  your  score  cyard,'  she  siz,  an'  tills 
you  the  number  iv  yer  table.' 

"  Shure  enough,  there  it  was,  all  printed 
out :  '  Table  No.  8.'  So  Oi  squazed  me  way 
round  the  room  ('twas  that  big  hall  where 
the  Woman's  Club  mates,  ye  know)  till  Oi 
found  a  table  wid  8  an  ut  and  there  was  t'ree 
ladies  a  sittin'  at  ut.  Oi  sat  down  in  the 
other  chair  an'  siz  Oi  to  mesilf,  '  Phwat's  the 
matter  wid  Bridget  Casey  ?  Oi'llshow  thim 
Oi'm  no  fool.'  Oi  saw  Mary  Ann  an'  the 
Gilhooleys  up  at  the  ind  iv  the  hall,  but  they 
didn't  see  me,  an'  Oi  hid  mesilf  as  well  as  Oi 
cud  behoind  a  fat  lady  that  sat  betwane  us. 
Oi  didn't  want  thim  to  see  me  yet. 

"  Afther  a  phwoile  the  tables  was  all  filled 
up,  and  a  bell  rang,  an'  they  comminced  the 
ga-ame.  The  firrst  t'ing  they  did  was  to  ax 
me  wud  Oi  cut,  an'  Oi  had  no  more  oidee 
pwhat  it  was  they  mint  than  annyt'ing.  But 
Oi  wasn't  goin'  to  bethray  me  ignorince,  so 
Oi  siz,  '  Ye'll  have  to  ixcuse  me,  but  Oi  for 
got  to  bring  me  scissors,  so  Oi'll  lave  some 
wan  ilse  do  the  cuttin',  Oi  siz.  Thim  t'ree 
wimmun  looked  at  aitch  other  an'  laughed  a 


io4          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

bit,  but  the  wan  that  sit  apposite  me  was  a 
rale  lady,  fer  she  just  smoiled  as  swate  at 
me  as  ye  plaze,  an*  she  siz,  '  Oi'll  cut  fer  ye,' 
an'  she  jist  raiched  out  her  hand  an'  lifted  a 
few  cyards  ahf  the  tap  iv  the  pack  an'  turrned 
thim  oaver.  Thin  the  lady  to  the  lift  iv  me 
done  the  sa-ame,  an'  thin  she  tuk  the  cyards 
and  dilt  thim.  She  gave  aitch  iv  us  foive 
an'  pit  the  rist  an  the  table,  Ye  see  Oi  was 
lookin'  wid  all  me  oyes  so  Oi'd  not  be  makin' 
anny  mistakes.  Thin  they  all  sid,  '  Oi  pass,' 
and  Oi  sid  the  same,  an'  the  lady  that  dilt 
tuk  the  cyard  that  was  on  top  iv  the  pack 
an'  pit  down  wan  out  iv  her  hand.  Thin  we 
aitch  laid  down  a  cyard.  Mine  was  a  pitcher 
wan.  The  lady  furninst  me  (the  swate 
smilin'  wan)  swiped  thim  in,  an'  they  all 
luked  at  me.  Oi  throid  to  luk  plissant  an' 
knowin,'  but  divil  a  bit  did  Oi  know  phwat 
they  was  lukin'  at,  at  ahl.  At  lasht  the  swate 
lady  siz  : 

"  '  Ye  tuk  the  thrick  ;  it's  your  lade.' 

" '  'Twas  you  tuk  ut,'  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Oi'm  yer  pardner,'  she  siz.  '  Oi  tuk  ut 
fer  both  iv  us  ; '  she  siz.  '  Will  ye  plaze 
lade,  Oi  dinnaw?' 

"  '  Manin'  will  Oi  lay  down  a  cyard  ? '  Oi 
siz. 


Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Euchre  Party.   105 

"  '  Certainly,'  she  siz. 

"So  Oi  done  ut. 

"'  Howld  an  there!'  scrames  wan  iv  the 
wimmun  ;  '  ye  rayniggerred  ! ' 

"  '  Yer  a  loiar  !  '  Oi  siz.  '  Oi  niver  done 
sich  a  t'ing  in  me  loife !  Oi'm  a  daycint, 
rispictable  wumman,  so  Oi  am  ! ' 

"  She  was  gittin'  purrple  in  the  face  she 
was  that  mad,  an'  so  was  Oi  ye  may  belave. 
But  me  pardner  siz,  awful  soothin'  loike, 
'  Niver  moind,  ye  doan't  oondershtand. 
Ye  see  ye  played  the  wrong  cyard.  Ye  shud 
have  played  that  cyard  an  the  first  thrick 
instid  iv  the  thrump.' 

"  '  Shure  Oi  beg  parrdon,  mum,  if  Oi  was 
a  bit  hasty,'  Oi  siz.  '  'Tis  the  furrst  toime 
Oi  iv,er  was  mixed  up  wid  the  loikes  iv  this, 
and  if  Oi  git  out  iv  it  aloive  it'll  be  me  last. 
Go  aisy  wid  me,  ladies.  Shure  Oi'll  do 
betther  next  toime.' 

"  Well,  Oi  got  on  all  roight  till  Oi  had  to 
dale.  An'  oh,  murrther,  Mrs.  Flanigan  !  Oi 
narely  doid  in  the  attimpt.  'Twas  the  furrst 
toime  Oi  had  the  shlippery  little  divils  in  me 
fisht,  barrin'  jist  the  foive  at  a  toime,  an'  me 
hands  shuk  so  Oi  dhropped  thim  all  oaver 
the  flure  ivery  toime  Oi  throid  to  chuffle 
thim  togither.  Thin  phwin  Oi  kim  to  dale 


io6          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

thim  around  Oi  cudn't  count  thim  roight 
to  save  me  loife,  and  'twas  a  turrible  toime 
Oi  had.  The  purrspirashin  was  roonin' 
down  my  fa-ace.  Phwin  Oi  had  thim  dilt 
at  last,  '  Phwat's  the  thrump  ?  "  siz  me  pard- 
ner. 

'"Ye  can  sarrch  me!  '  Oi  siz. 

" '  Turrn  up  the  cyard,  till  we  see !  '  siz 
she. 

"  '  Oh,  is  it  that  ye  mane  ?'  Oi  siz,  an'  Oi 
done  ut. 

"  '  Oi'll  assist  ye,"  she  siz. 

"  '  Thank  yekoindly,  lady/  Oi  siz  ;  '  Oi'm 
shure  it's  nadin'  ut  Oi  am.' 

"  An'  that  same  she  did,  for  she  towld  me 
phwat  to  do  and  hilped  me  till  Oi  began  to 
git  me  brith  a  bit  aisier. 

"  Thin,  all  at  wanst,  a  bill  rang  an*  they 
all  shtopped  playin'  till  a  lady  kim  around 
an'  tuk  the  little  phwoite  tickuts  an' 
squinched  a  hoale  out  iv  thim  wid  a  little 
t'ing  loike  the  conducthers  do  be  havin' 
an  the  sthrate  cyarrs.  She  was  goin'  boy 
me  widout  seein'  me,  but  Oi  didn't  intind 
to  be  missin'  annyt'ing,  so  Oi  give  her 
moine  an'  she  pit  a  noice  nate  little  hole 
in  ut.  Thin  the  two  ladies  that  had  been 
sittin'  aitch  soide  iv  me  got  up  an'  wint  to 


Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Euchre  Party.   107 

the  nixt  table.  Oi  was  goin'  alahng  too, 
but  my  pardner  siz,  '  Oh,  no.  You  an'  Oi 
shtay  here ;  but  Oi'm  not  your  pardner  nixt 
toime.' 

"  '  Oh,  it's  sorry  Oi  am  fer  that,'  Oi  siz,  an' 
Oi  was  that  same  too,  fer  the  new  wan  was 
a  sharp-faced  wumman  wid  shpecks,  an'  she 
near  tuk  the  hid  ahf  me,  jist  becase  Oi  laid 
down  me  joaker  an  her  ace. 

"  '  Shure,  mum,  Oi  was  takin'  the  thrick  ! ' 
Oi  siz. 

"  '  'Twas  ours  alriddy  ! '  she  scramed. 
'  What  d'ye  mane  be  wayshtin'  thrumps  loike 
that !  '  an'  she  was  that  mad  that  phwin 
the  cyards  was  dilt  nixt  toime  she  siz,  '  Oi'll 
play  it  aloane  !  '  she  siz.  Well  Oi  was  willin', 
fer  Oi  didn't  want  to  be  kilt  intoirely.  So 
she  played  widout  me,  and  samed  much 
plazed  wid  hersilf. 

"  '  Oi  made  four,'  she  siz,  and  just  thin  a 
bill  rang  ag'in. 

"  '  Doan't  move  till  ye  git  yer  poonch,'  she 
siz  to  me. 

"  '  Poonch,  is  ut  !  Indade  an'  Oi'll  not. 
The  t'oughts  iv  ut  is  most  revoivin'.  So  Oi 
sat  waitin'  fer  the  poonch  but  sorraabit  was 
brought  round  our  way.  The  lady  kim 
around  and  pit  another  hole  in  me  tickut 


io8          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

an''  Oi  sane  me  pardner  walkin'  ahf  to  the 
nixt  table.  Anither  lady  kim  up  to  me  an' 
siz,  '  Ye  belang  to  that  table  oaver  there. 
Oi  take  this  place  now.' 

"  '  Oi'm  vvaitin'  fer  me  poonch,'  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Oh  !  didn't  ye  git  anny  ? '  she  siz. 
'  Here  !  give  me  yer  cyard  !  '  an'  she  snatched 
ut  out  iv  me  hand  and  wint  away  wid  ut.  In 
a  minnut  she  was  back  wid  ut  an'  siz, 
'  That's  all  roight.  Ye  belang  at  table  num 
ber  sivin,  now.' 

"  '  Oh  ! '  siz  Oi  to  mesilf,  '  it's  there  Oi'll 
git  the  poonch.  Oi  hope  it's  good  an' 
sthrong,  fer  Oi'm  gittin'  a  foine  t'urrst  on 
me.' 

"  But,  if  ye'll  belave  me,  Mrs.  Flanigan, 
Oi  didn't  git  no  poonch  at  ahl  at  ahl,  though 
Oi  waited  fer  ut  at  ivery  table,  an'  they 
was  always  tillin'  me  to  wait  fer  ut,  an' 
showin*  me  tickut,  but  all  Oi  got  was  more 
hoales  in  the  sa-ame,  but  niver  a  dhrap  iv 
poonch,  though  me  mouth  was  as  dhry  as  a 
fither  tick. 

"  At  wan  iv  the  tables  me  pardner  passed 
me  over  the  two  cyards  they  kipt  the  score 
wid,  an'  siz,  '  Will  ye  plaze  kape  the  score  ?  " 

"  Well,  Oi  hadn't  been  watchin'  how  'twas 
done,  but  Oi  t'ought  Oi  could  larrn,  so  Oi 


Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Euchre  Party.   109 

watched  the  other  wumman  that  was  kapin' 
the  score  fer  the  other  soide  an'  phwiniver 
Oi  sane  her  fix  her  score  cyards  Oi  done 
moine  the  same,  an  Oi  flatther  mesilf  'twas 
all  roight. 

"  Afther  a  phwoile  Oi  raiched  the  table 
phwere  Mary  Ann  was,  an'  Rosy  Gilhooley  ! 
An'  'twud  have  done  ye  good  to  have 
sane  thim,  Mrs.  Flanigan  !  Faith,  Oi 
shuk  the  table  wid  laughin*  at  Mary  Ann. 
Her  eyes  were  loike  sassers.  'Twas  spache- 
less  she  was  intoirely  wid  surproise. 

"  '  Whoy,  Maw  Casey  ! '  she  scrayched. 
'  Plnvat  in  the  na-ame  iv  sinse  are  ye  doin' 
here  ? ' 

"  '  Shure  Oi'm  injyin'  mesilf  the  same  as 
you,' Oi  siz.  'Have  ye  anny  objections?' 
Oi  siz. 

"  Jist  thin  she  caught  soight  iv  me  tickut 
that  was  hangin'  to  me  bristpin. 

"  'Ye  doant  mane  to  say  ye've  bated  all 
thim  games  !  '  siz  she,  '  an'  you  wid  niver  a 
cyard  in  yer  hand  befoor  ! 

"  '  Tis  hoigh  score  she  has  as  shure  as 
ye're  borrn !  '  siz  Rosy.  '  'Tis  a  fool  fer 
luck  ! ' 

"  '  Manin  me,'  Oi  suppose,'  Oi  sez.  '  Shure 
'tis  not  all  the  fools  that  has  the  luck  thin,' 


no          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

fer  her  tickut  hadn't  half  a  dozen  holes  in 
ut. 

"  '  'Twas  a  beginner  Oi  mint,  Mrs.  Casey/ 
she  siz,  turnin'  rid. 

"  Be  this  toime  Oi'd  larrned  quoite  a  bit  iv 
the  game,  though  'twas  be  harrd  knocks,  fer 
the  wimmen  was  virry  narely  tairin'  me  hair 
out  wid  rage  beca'se  Oi  was  playin'  Kings 
fer  Jacks  or  thrumpin'  their  aces  or  discyar- 
din'  the  bist  cyards  in  me  hand,  or  the  loike 
iv  that,  an'  they  had  me. that  rattled  beca'se 
Oi  cudn't  play  faster  that  Oi  didn't  know 
phwither  Oi  was  shtandin'  an  my  hid  or  me 
hales. 

"  But  Oi  wasn't  afraid  iv  Mary  Ann.  She 
was  me  pardner.  So  Oi  played  aisy  loike,  as 
if  Oi'd  been  playin'  ahl  me  loife.  Oi  hild 
ahl  the  pitcher  cyards  an"  the  joaker  ivery 
toime,  an'  we  tuk  so  manny  thricks  that 
Mary  Ann  was  dancin'  up  an'  down  in  her 
chair  wid  deloight. 

"  '  Maw,  ye're  all  roight ! '  she  siz.  '  Ye're 
a  pache  ! '  she  siz,  an'  Rosy  Gilhooley  was 
near  crazy. 

"  Well,  afther  that  they  kim  around  an' 
tuk  up  the  tickuts.  Mary  Ann  wroate  me 
name  on  moine. 

"  '  Now,'  siz  Oi  to  mesilf,  '  'tis  the  poonch 


Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Euchre  Party,   in 

that's  comin',  shure.'  But  'twas  nothin' 
but  cahfee,  wid  sandwiches  an'  oice  crame. 
An'  phwoilst  we  was  aytin'  ut  a  man  got  up 
an  a  chair  an'  towld  ahl  who  had  the 
proizes,  an'  phawt  d'ye  t'ink ! 

"  '  Mrs.  Casey,'  he  siz,  '  has  hoigh  score, 
and  furrst  proize  ! 

"  Moy  !  but  'twas  a  proud  day  fer  the 
Caseys.  The  ould  man's  not  done  talkin' 
iv  ut  yit,  an'  the  b'ys  howled  till  ye  cud  hear 
tfrim  a  block  phwin  Oi  kim  hoame  wid  ut. 

"  'Tis  a  foine  silver  butther  dish,  Mrs. 
Flanigan  !  Kim  oaver  an'  ate  ahf  it  to- 
morrer  !  " 


CHAPTER  XI. 

MRS.    CASEY   AT   THE   WOMAN'S   CLUB. 

"  PHWAT's  this  Oi  hear,  Mrs.  Casey  ? 
Shure  Mary  Ann  tills  me  ye're  afther  j'inin' 
a  cloob." 

"  Indade,  Mrs.  Flanigan,  Oi  am  that," 
responded  Mrs.  Casey  with  complacency. 
"  'Tis  the  fashin  t'  belahng  to  a  cloob  now- 
a-days." 

"  An'  phwat  loike  is  ut  ?  " 

"  Shure  'tis  fer  the  incurridgemint  iv  Lit- 
therachoor  and  Airrt,  an'  the  name  iv  ut  is 
the  Minervy  Cloob." 

"  Named  afther  Minervy  Sullivan,  Oi 
suppose." 

"  Minervy  Sullivan,  indade !  Did  ye  niver 
hear  iv  Minervy,  the  Goddiss  iv  Wisdom  ? 
Moy !  but  ye're  ignorint,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ! 
Shame  till  ye  !  "  and  Mrs.  Casey  looked  down 
contemptuously  upon  her  benighted  neigh 
bor  from  the  heights  of  her  newly-acquired 
knowledge. 

"  Faix,  if  Oi  had  the  namin'  iv  annyt'ing," 

112 


Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Woman's  Club.  113 

retorted  the  incensed  Mrs.  Flanigan,  "  Oi'd 
rather  be  namin'  ut  afther  adaycint  Christian 
gairrl  th'n  wan  iv  thim  haythin  throllops. 
Shure  niver  wan  iv  thim  iver  had  cloas 
enough  to  pit  an  thim  fer  to  go  into  rispict- 
ible  sassoyty,  an'  sorra  a  t'ing  did  they  iver 
do  fer  a  livin'  but  sit  an  a  cloud  ! " 

"  No  more  do  the  angels  in  Hiven,  Mrs. 
Flanigan,  barrin'  playin'  an  hairrps  now  an' 
thin.  But  whist  now,  till  Oi  till  ye  about  the 
cloob.  Ye  see  Mrs.  Gilhooley  is  the  Priz- 
zidint." 

"  An'  phwat  does  she  do  ?  " 

"  She  sits  up  an  the  platform  an'  cahls  the 
matin'  t'  arrdher  be  rappin'  an'  the  table  wid 
a  t'ing  they  cahls  a  gravul.  Thin  she  tills 
the  sickritirry  (that's  Mary  Ann),  to  rade  the 
minnuts.  Thim  do  be  the  prosadins  iv  the 
last  matin'  which  Mary  Ann  is  afther  wroitin* 
down  in  a  book.  Thin  Mrs.  Gilhooley  siz, 
'  The  minnuts  bees  approved,'  and  cahls  fer 
the  trizzurer  to  make  a  repoort." 

"  Who's  the  trizzurer  ?  " 

"  Mrs.  McGinty,  that  lives  around  the 
carrner  furninst  the  saloon.  She  has  a  foine 
hid  fer  figgers.  Phwin  she  has  the  repoort 
rid,  soom  wan  gits  a  move  an  that  it  be 
adapted.  '  Adapted  it  is,'  siz  Mrs.  Gilhooley. 


H4          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

Thin  there  bees  the  repoorts  iv  the  commy- 
tays ;  there's  a  lot  iv  thim.  Mrs.  Kelly 
(she's  a  gra-ate  frind  iv  Mrs.  Gilhooley's)  is 
chairman  iv  the  raycipshin  commy-tay,  an* 
it's  illigint  she  is,  an'  Judy  O'Connor  is 
chairman  iv  the  house  commy-tay.  She  does 
be  lookin'  afther  the  hahl,  an'  the  foorni- 
choor,  an'  rowin'  the  janitor.  (Tis  a  naygur 
he  is.)  'Tis  Judy  that  kin  do  that  to  the 
quane's  ta-aste.  'Twud  warrum  yer  hairrt  to 
hear  her. 

"  Thin  there  bees  the  progum  commy-tay. 
They  names  the  pa-apers  that's  to  be  rid  an' 
picks  out  the  wans  that's  to  wroite  thim. 
Shure  we  had  a  foine  wan  last  wake.  'Twas 
an  the  Rainysinse.  'Twas  Biddy  O'Toole 
wroate  ut  an'  'twas  jist  gra-and  !  Biddy  was 
afther  goin'  to  the  loiberry  ivery  day  fer  a 
wake  to  rade  the  soyclipedies  an'  she  knew 
ahl  about  the  Rainysinse.''' 

"  An'  phwat  is  ut  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Flanigan. 

"  Doan't  ye  know  phwat  the  Rainysinse 
is?" 

"  That  Oi  doan't,  onliss  it  bees  the  koind 
iv  sinse  ye  have  to  coom  in  phwin  it  rains. 
Bedad,  Oi  t'ink  'twud  not  hurrt  Biddy 
O'Toole  t*  have  a  little  iv  that,  tho'  'tis  not 
in  the  soyclipedy  she'll  foind  ut." 


Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Woman's  Club.  115 

"  Tis  you  fer  a  joak,  Mrs.  Flanigan,  but 
that's  not  the  koind  iv  sinse  this  is,  at  ahl  at 
ahl.  It's — it's — phwoy — oh,  phwat  is  ut 
now  ?  Shure  Oi  know  as  aisy  as  aytin',  but 
Oi  havn't  the  flow  iv  langwudge  t'  ixpriss 
mesilf.  It's — oh,  begorra !  it's  some  new 
koind  iv  a  shtatute  it  is,  that's  ahl.  The 
cloob  does  be  givin"  a  cyard  parrthy  nixt 
wake  to  raise  some  money  to  boy  pitchers 
fer  the  schools.  Will  ye  be  afther  boyin'  a 
tickut  ahf  me,  Oi  dinnaw?" 

"  That  Oi'll  not !  Oi  don't  approave  iv  ut. 
Pitchers  indade  !  Phwat  nixt  will  they  be 
wantin'  ?  Shure,  'tis  disthractin"  enough 
they  bees  alriddy  wid  flowers  in  the  windies 
an'  the  loike  o'  that.  Me  Mickey's  that 
harrd  wurrked  wid  mud  maps  an'  dhrawin' 
an'  huntin'  boogs  an'  shtones  that  he  hasn't 
had  toime  fer  a  shindy  wid  Pat  Foley  fer  a 
wake,  an'  it's  nadin'  a  batin'  he  is,  that  Foley 
b'y.  Shure,  Mrs.  Casey  dear,  Oi  do  be  fear- 
in'  nairrvis  prosthra-ashin  fer  Mickey  !  "  and 
Mrs.  Flanigan  sighed  dolefully. 

"  Besoides,  luk  at  the  ixpinse,"  she  went 
on.  "  Faix,  but  'tis  a  waste  to  be  puttin' 
good  money  into  bran  new  pitchers  phwin 
there  do  be  plinty  iv  ould  wans  that  moight 
be  shpared.  Oi  have  a  foine  wan  mesilf  iv 


n6         Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

St.  Pathrick  dhroivin'  the  shnakes  from  ould 
Oirland.  'Tis  hand  painted  ut  is,  be  me 
cousin  Mary  O'Grady.  There  do  be  an  illi- 
gint  gowld  frame  an  ut,  barrin'  wan  iv  the 
carrners  is  broake.  'Twas  hung  in  the  parr- 
lor  oaver  the  chimney  till  a  year  ago  phwin 
me  man  tuk  ut  down.  He  sid  he  niver  did 
be  lukin'  at  ut  widout  t'inkin'  'twas  the 
trimmins  he  had.  Yez  may  have  that  fer 
the  cloob,  if  ye  loike." 

"  Indade,  'tis  koind  iv  ye,  Mrs.  Flanigan, 
an'  Oi'll  name  ut  to  the  commy-tay.  But 
ye  naden't  be  throubled  about  the  ixpinse. 
Shure  pitchers  is  chape  now.  They  bees  a 
man  down  town  that  paints  pitchers  in  a 
windy  an  Shtate  sthrate  ;  foine  large  illigint 
wans  they  arre,  landshcapes  an'  sayshcapes. 
Ye  can  boy  a  shmall  seized  wan  fer  a 
quarrther  an'  a  larrge  wan  fer  fifty  cints. 
If  the  cyarrd  parrthy  is  a  succiss  we  kin 
boy  shlathers  iv  thim." 

"  So  ye  can  :  that's  gra-and  !  And  did 
ye  iver  shpake  at  the  cloob  yersilf,  Mrs. 
Casey  ?  " 

"  Niver  but  wanst  ;  an'  thin  they  didn't 
lave  me  shpake.  Ye  know  that  little  impi- 
dint  hizzy  iv  a  Katie  Murphy,  doant  ye? 
The  sassy  t'ing!  She  do  be  always  jumpin* 


Mrs.  Casey  at  the  Woman's  Club.  117 

up  an*  foindin'  fault  an'  objictin'  till  she  do 
ma-ake  me  that  toired  'twud  aise  me  sowl 
to  shlap  the  oogly  fa-ace  iv  her.  Well,  wan 
day  Mary  Ann  had  been  radin'  the  minnuts, 
an'  that  little  shpalpeen  jumped  up  and  sid 
there  was  somethin'  wrang  wid  'em.  Oi 
forgit  now  phwat  it  was,  but  'twas  no  sich  a 
t'ing,  an'  Oi  rose  t*  me  fate  an'  sid  that  sa-ame. 

"  '  Maddim  Prizzidint !  the  mimber  is  out 
iv  arrdher  ! '  siz  she.  Oi  knowed  that  was  a 
loy,  fer  Mary  Ann  always  does  be  lukin'  me 
oaver  befoor  Oi  go  to  the  cloob,  an'  she  does 
be  that  pertikler  she  laves  me  no  rist.  So 
Oi  siz, 

"  '  Tis  yersilf  that's  out  iv  arrdher !' Oi 
siz. 

"  '  Will  the  mimber  plaze  addriss  the  chair,' 
siz  Mrs.  Gilhooley.  '  Phwich  wan  ?  '  Oi  siz, 
lukin'  around  to  see  if  'twas  me  own  she 
mint.  '  Oi  mane,  shpake  to  the  chairman, 
manin'  mesilf,'  she  siz.  '  Virry  well,  mum  !  ' 
Oi  siz.'  'Tis  yersilf  kin  see  wid  half  an  oye 
that  Katie  Murphy's  hat  is  an  crookut,  an' 
there's  a  shmut  an  her  noase,  an'  the  braid 
iv  her  skurrt  is  thrailin'  an  the  flure.  'Tis 
not  fer  the  loikes  iv  her  to  be  cahlin'  a 
daycint  wumman  out  iv  arrdher,'  Oi  siz. 
'  That'll  be  ahl  iv  that ! '  siz  Mrs.  Gilhooley, 


u8          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

'  Sit  down  !  '  siz  Biddy  O'Toole,  who  was 
sittin'  furninst  me,  an*  she  gave  me  a  jurrk 
into  me  chair  that  came  near  knockin'  ivery 
toot*  out  iv  me  hid,  so  Oi  had  no  more 
chanst  to  shpake  me  moind  that  day,  but 
jist  wait  till  Oi  catch  her !  Oi'll  aise  me 
falin's  !  Out  iv  arrdher  indade  !  " 


CHAPTER  XII. 

MRS.   CASEY   ON    BLOOMERS. 

"  SHPAKIN'  iv  Katie  Murphy,"  said  Mrs. 
Casey,  as  she  rescued  the  teapot  from  small 
Nora,  and  vice  versa,  "  Oi  niver  loiked  that 
gairrl  since  she  did  be  puttin'  Mary  Ann  up 
to  wearin'  bloomers." 

"  Phwin  was  that  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Flanigan, 
expectantly. 

"  Oh,  a  lahng  toime  ago.  Mary  Ann  was 
oanly  sixteen  at  the  toime.  Ye  see  phwin 
her  paw  ga-ave  Mary  Ann  the  boysickle 
Katie  Murphy  was  the  oanly  gairrl  round 
here  that  had  wan,  so  she  tuk  t'  goin'  t'  roide 
wid  her.  She  alwa-ays  did  be  wearin'  a  day- 
cint  little  sharrt  skurrt,  an'  Oi  niver.dhramed 
iv  her  wearin'  annyt'ing  ilse.  Oi  suppose 
her  paw  gave  her  the  money  t'  boy  thim 
pants.  He  was  alwa-ays  that  aisy  wid  her. 
She  knew  betther  than  t'  ax  me  fer  thim.  Oi 
know  t'was  Katie  put  her  up  to  ut,  an*  thin 
towld  her  to  kape  ut  from  me,  fer  'twasn't  a 
IIQ 


i2o          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

bit  loike  Mary  Ann  to  be  desayvin'  me,  an* 
besoides,  Katie  was  alwa-ays  shloy  an' 
shneaky  loike.  She'd  ax  her  maw  fer  money 
fer  pencils  an'  pa-aper  an'  thim  t'ings  phwin 
she  was  goin'  to  school,  an*  shpind  ut  fer 
candy,  an'  she  was  alwa-ays  chasm'  the  b'ys 
unbeknownst  to  her  maw.  Well,  wan  day 
Mary  Ann  wint  ahf  to  roide  wid  her,  an'  she 
hadn't  been  lahng  gahn  phwin  who  shud 
coom  in  but  me  cousin  Ellen  fr'm  N'  Yarrk. 
She  was  jist  after  marryin'  a  rich  plumber 
down  there,  Jim  Mahoney  be  na-ame,  an' 
they  was  an  their  widdin'  toor.  They  in- 
voited  me  to  go  wid  thim  fer  a  dhroive  in 
the  parrk,  an'  Oi  wint.  'Twas  an  illigint 
da-ay.  The  parrk  was  full  iv  carriages  an' 
boysickles,  an'  that  ma-ademe  t'ink  iv  Mary 
Ann,  an'  Oi  was  jist  tillin'  thim  about  her 
new  phweel  an'  how  foine  she  cud  roide, 
phwin  ahl  at  wanst,  Patsy,  who  was  sittin' 
an  the  front  sate  wid  Misther  Mahoney, 
yells  out, 

"'  There  she  is,  Maw  !     Lukather!' 

"  '  Phwere  ?  '  Oi  siz  ;  fer  Oi  didn't  see  anny- 
wan  coomin'  but  two  b'ys. 

"  '  There  !  That's  thim  ! '  siz  Patsy,  a- 
p'intin*  at  thim  sa-ame  b'ys. 

"  Oi    luked    ag'in,  an*    cud  scarce  belave 


Mrs.  Casey  on  Bloomers.       121 

me  oyes.  Thim  Vys  was  Katie  Murphy 
an'  me  Mary  Ann,  an'  they  had  an  jockey 
caps  an'  pa-ants  ! 

"  Oi  trun  up  me  two  hands  an'  Oi  ga-ave 
wan  scraych. 

"  '  Pa-ants  !  '  Oi  siz.  '  Aw  !  wirra  !  wirra  ! 
that  iver  Oi  shud  live  to  see  this  da-ay!' 
An'  they  tuk  me  hoame  in  voilint  hoystir- 
ricks. 

"  Oi  was  siffishintly  raykivered  howiver,  t' 
be  layin'  fer  Mary  Ann  phwin  she  kim  hoame. 
She  had  an  the  daycint  skurrt  she  woare 
phwin  she  wint  out,  an'  Oi  shwear  t'  ye 
Mrs.  Flanigan,  she  luked  that  make  an'  in- 
nicint,  ye'd  have  t'ought  she  niver  sit  oyes 
an  a  pair  iv  pa-ants  in  her  loife.  But  Oi 
wasn't  to  be  desayved. 

"  '  Phwere  be  thim  pa-ants !  '  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Phwat  pa-ants,  Maw  ?  '  siz  she. 

"  '  Thim  ondaycint  gairmints  that  Oi  sane 
ye  makin'  a  shpectikil  iv  yersilf  wid  in  the 
parrk  this  da-ay  in  broad  da-ayloight ! '  Oi 
siz.  '  Have  ye  no  sha-ame  ?  '  Oi  siz,  'that 
ye  do  be  disgra-acin'  yersilf  an'  the  mother 
that  brought  ye  up  daycint  an'  rispictible  ? 
Phwere  be  thim  pa-ants  ?  ' 

"  '  They're  not  pa-ants,  Maw.  They're 
knicky-bockies',  siz  she. 


122          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  '  May  be  they  be  knicky-bockies  an  the 
loikes  iv  you,  but  it's  pa-ants  they'll  be  an 
yer  brother  Patsy,  begorra !  Phwere  be 
they?'  Oi  siz  ag'in. 

"  '  Oi  lift  thim  at  Katie's'. 

"  '  Go  fitch  thim  ! '  Oi  siz. 

"An"  she  wint.  Wid  a  bit  iv  conthroivin* 
they  made  two  pairs  fer  Patsy.  He  was 
shmall  thin." 

"  That  remoinds  me,"  said  Mrs.  Flanigan, 
"the  youngest  Murphy  b'y  do  be  ixpilled 
fr'm  school  ag'in." 

"  Is  that  so?" 

"  Yis.  Ye  know  if  ye  do  be  ixpilled  t'ree 
toimes  ye  git  sispindid,  an'  thin  ye  can't  go 
back." 

"  Phwat  did  he  do  ?  " 

"  Oi  dinnaw,  at  ahl.  Thim  b'ys  bees 
shlow  in  school  Oi'm  towld.  'Twas  Mrs. 
Murphy  hersilf  was  tellin'  me  they  larrned 
the  jogifry  ahl  roight,  but  they  cudn't  larrn 
Spearses."  ("  Spearses  "  being  Mr.  Spears' 
excellent  text-book  on  elementary  mathema 
tics.)  "  Did  ye  hear  that  the  little  Dugans 
bees  down  wid  scarlit  faver  ?  " 

"  No !  An'  thim  wid  no  mother,  poor 
t'ings  !  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Casey. 

"An'    their   own   a'nt,  that   we   alwa-ays 


Mrs.  Casey  on  Bloomers.       123 

t'ought  was  sich  a  gra-and,  koind  wumman, 
she  won't  coom  near  thim  !  " 

"The  ould  hin !  Who's  carin*  fer  thim 
thin?" 

"  Mrs.  O'Shea,  no  liss  !  " 

"Mrs.  a  Shea!  Well,  wudn't  that 
boomp  ye  ?  " 

"  She's  been  there  day  an*  noight  since 
they  was  furrst  tuk  down,  an'  poor  Dugan 
siz  an  oahn  mother  cudn't  be  tinderer. 
They're  gittin'  an  foine  now,  but  they  was 
awful  bad  wan  whoile." 

"  Mrs.  O'Shea  !  Well,  well  !  "  Mrs.  Casey 
was  silent  for  a  moment,  and  her  face  grew 
thoughtful.  Then  she  said  slowly, 

"  Betwane  the  goodniss  iv  the  bad  payple 
an'  the  badniss  iv  the  good  wans,  Oi'm  glad 
it's  not  mesilf  that'll  be  havin' to  divoidethe 
sha-ape  fr'm  the  goats  !  " 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

THE   BEAUTY   DOCTOR. 

As  Mrs.  Flanigan,  with  neighborly  famil 
iarity,  ascended  the  back  steps  of  the  Casey 
house  one  morning,  the  door  opened  softly 
and  Mrs.  Casey  emerged  with  a  mysterious 
burden  gathered  in  her  apron.  Meeting  her 
old  crony  thus,  face  to  face,  she  stopped 
suddenly,  with  a  guilty  look  on  her  usually 
honest  countenance. 

"  Phwat  have  ye  there,  Mrs.  Casey  ? ' 
asked  Mrs.  Flanigan,  with  curiosity. 

"  Jist  some  impty  bahtles  Oi'm  t'rowin'  in 
the  ash  barr'l,"  returned  Mrs.  Casey. 

"  Shure  they  doan't  be  lukin'  virry  impty," 
observed  Mrs.  Flanigan,  catching  sight  of  a 
large  bottle  with  a  showy  label,  which  pro 
truded  from  one  side  of  Mrs.  Casey's  apron, 
and  from  which  but  little  of  the  original 
contents  had  been  taken. 

Mrs.  Casey  hastily  snatched  at  the  apron 
to  cover  the  telltale  bottle.     The  act,  how- 
124 


The  Beauty  Doctor.  125 

ever,  only  precipitated  disaster.  The  gar 
ment  being  old  and  thin,  the  strain  of  the 
sudden  pull  upon  it  caused  it  to  part  in  the 
middle,  and  a  shower  of  gay  bottles  and 
boxes  descended  upon  the  steps ;  some 
breaking,  others  falling  open  and  enveloping 
Mrs.  Flanigan,  who  stood  below,  in  a  cloud 
of  powder  and  rank  odors. 

For  a  moment  Mrs.  Casey  was  overcome 
with  humiliation.  Then,  seeing  the  look  of 
amazed  bewilderment  on  Mrs.  Flanigan's 
face  as  she  stood  bespattered  and  bepow- 
dered  from  head  to  foot,  she  dropped  with  a 
thud  upon  the  top  step,  and  began  to  shriek 
with  laughter,  rocking  back  and  forth  and 
waving  her  hands  wildly  about,  in  an  abandon 
of  mirth. 

Mrs.  Flanigan,  more  amazed  than  ever, 
stooped  to  pick  up  some  of  the  scattered 
glassware. 

"  Madame  de  Boezi's  unrivalled  Freckle 
Lotion  "  greeted  her  eyes  from  the  large 
bottle  which  she  had  first  seen.  "  Madame 
de  Boezi's  Matchless  Marguerite  Balm," 
"  Madame  de  Boezi's  Cucumber  Milk  for  the 
Skin  and  Complexion,"  "  Madame  de  Boezi's 
Magnolia  Skin  Food,"  "  Madame  de  Boezi's 
Poudre  de  Violettes,"  and  many  more  similar 


126          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

preparations  declared  themselves  as  the  con 
tents  of  the  various  receptacles. 

"  Who  in  the  wurrld  is  the  Boozy  wum- 
man  ?  An'  phwat  arre  ye  doin'  wid  ahl  her 
thruck?"  demanded  Mrs.  Flanigan. 

"  Shure  me  sins  has  found  me  out,"  said 
Mrs.  Casey,  wiping  her  eyes  on  the  corner 
of  the  torn-apron.  "  Gwan  in  the  house  an' 
clane  yersilf,  Mrs.  Flanigan.  Ye  do  be  a 
soight !  Phwin  Oi  have  the  shtuff  shwipt  up 
Oi'll  coom  in  an'  till  ye  ahl  about  ut." 

Half  an  hour  later,  Mrs.  Flanigan  having 
removed  from  her  person  most  of  the  traces 
of  the  baptism  of  cosmetics,  and  having  been 
refreshed  with  a  "  sup  o'  cahfee  "  from  the 
pot  which  generally  stood  at  the  back  of  the 
kitchen  stove  from  one  meal  to  the  next,  the 
two  sat  cosily  in  front  of  the  stove,  with 
their  feet  upon  the  hearth  and  their  chairs 
tipped  back  at  a  conversational  angle,  while 
Mrs.  Casey  gave  voice  to  the  promised  ex 
planation. 

"  Shure  Oi  wasn't  manin'  to  be  tillin'  ye 
about  yander  foolishniss,"  jerking  her  thumb 
in  the  direction  of  the  ash  barrel,  "  but 
seein'  ye're  afther  foindin'  me  rid  handed 
loike,  Oi'll  have  to  be  givin'  ye  the  whole 
tale  o'  woe. 


The  Beauty  Doctor.  127 

"  'Twas  about  t'ree  wakes  ago  it  was, 
Mary  Ann  kim  in  from  goin'  out  wid  the 
Gilhooleys,  an'  she  siz,  '  There's  to  be  a 
litcher  at  the  Wumman's  Cloob  hahl  t'morrer 
afthernoon,  be  the  fa-amiss  beauty  docther, 
Maddim  Beau-aisy  from  N'  Yarrk,  and  she 
do  be  afther  givin'  Mrs.  Gilhooley  some 
tickuts  to  dishthribit  wid  her  frinds.  She 
gave  me  two,  an'  you  an'  me'll  be  goin', 
Maw,'  she  siz.  '  'Twill  be  gra-ate  fun,'  she 
siz. 

"  '  Phwat's  a  beauty  docther  ?  '  Oi  siz. 

"  '  'Tis  a  docther  that  taches  ye  how  to  be 
be-ewtiffle,'  she  siz. 

" '  Faix,'  Oi  siz,  ' ye're  good  lukin'  enough 
now  t'  kape  me  busy  wid  cha-asin'  the  b'ys 
away,'  Oi  siz,  '  an'  'tis  no  docther  that  kin 
ma-ake  anny  beauty  out  iv  this  oogly  moog,' 
Oi  siz. 

"  Himsilf  was  hoame,  and  he  siz,  '  Phwat's 
that  ?  Niver  sa-ay  doy,  Biddy,'  he  siz. 
'  'Twas  yersilf  was  the  bist  luker  iv  County 
Corrk  phwin  Oi  brought  ye  oaverheret'  this 
land  iv  the  grafther  an'  hoame  iv  the  affis 
howldher,'  he  siz,  '  an'  ye  have  the  sa-ame 
faytures  an  ye  that  yo  had  thin,  oanly  a  little 
moare  to  thim.  Ye  can  bate  anny  iv  the 
gairrls  now,  phwin  ye  git  an  yer  glad  rags. 


128          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

Take  her  alahng  to  the  beauty  docther, 
Mary  Ann,'  he  siz,  '  an'  have  her  fixed  up  as 
foine  as  Lilly  Langthry  or  anny  iv  thim 
shwells,'  he  siz,  '  an'  sind  the  bill  t'  me.  Oi 
loike  t'  see  moy  wimmun  aquil  t'  anny  iv 
thim,'  he  siz,  '  an'  Oi'm  willin'  to  pay  fer  ut,' 
siz  he. 

"  So  we  wint  to  the  litcher,  and  ye'd  be 
surproised,  Mrs.  Flanigan,  t'  see  the  crowd 
that  was  there.  The  pla-ace  was  jammed,  an' 
if  we  hadn't  a  wint  airly  we'd  niver  have  had 
a  sate  at  ahl  at  ahl.  An'  sich  a  lot  av  hidjis 
ould  faymales  Oi  niver  laid  me  two  oyes  an 
befoor. 

"  '  Hivins ! '  siz  Oi  to  Mary  Ann.  '  There's 
no  humin  docther,  man  or  wumman,  that  kin 
ma-ake  beauties  out  iv  some  iv  thim  cray- 
thers  !  'Tis  oanly  the  Lord  A'moighty  cud 
be  doin'  ut,  an'  He'd  have  to  trun  away  the 
whoale  batch  an'  begin  oaver  ag'in,'  Oi  siz. 

"  There  was  some  good  lukin'  wans,  iv 
coorse,  if  ye'd  pick  thim  out  here  an'  there, 
but  moastly  they  wud  shtop  anny  clock  that 
iver  Oi  see,  an'  they  was  that  sad  lukin'  an' 
mournful  loike,  as  if  they  niver  had  shmoiled 
in  their  loives.  Oi  cudn't  hilp  talin'  sorry 
fer  thim. 

"  The  windy  sha-ades  was  ahl  pulled  down, 


The  Beauty  Doctor.  129 

an'  jist  a  few  gas  loights  was  loighted,  and 
an  the  stage  was  some  lamps  wid  pink  shades. 
Afther  a  phwoile  Maddim  Beau-aisy  kirn  out 
from  behoind  the  curtain  at  the  back  iv  the 
sta-age  an'  walked  up  t'  the  front  an'  ma-ade 
a  bow.  She  was  a  big,  tall,  good  lukin' 
wumman,  wid  a  threeminjis  punkydore  iv 
yally  hair  an'  she  had  an  a  t'in  black  driss 
kivered  ahl  oaver  wid  shoiny  t'ings  that 
luked  loike  the  scales  an  a  fish,  oanly  inoare 
glist'nin'.  She  had  a  koind  iv  fishy  way  iv 
squirmin'  around  phwin  she  moved  that  ra- 
aly  made  ye  fale  that  she'd  be  shlippery  loike 
if  ye  tuk  a  holt  iv  her.  Her  arrums  an'  her 
nick  was  bare,  barrin'  some  sthrings  iv 
doimins.  Mary  Ann  sid  they  did  be,  too  big 
to  be  ra-ale,  but  they  was  moighty  broight. 

"  She  had  big  black  oyes  that  she  did  be 
rowlin'  at  ye  phwin  she  talked,  an'  foine 
phwoite  tathe  that  she  loiked  t'  be  showin'. 

"  The  wimmun  ahl  oaver  the  hahl  began 
to  phwisper  phwin  she  ca-ame  out : 

'"Ain't  she  luvely  !  '  'Ain't  she  a 
de-earr !  '  '  Ain't  she  jist  too  shwate  fer 
annyt'ing !  '  an'  the  loike  iv  that,  an'  they 
ahl  clapped  their  hands. 

"  She  bowed  ag'in  an'  shmoiled,  an'  thin 
she  began  to  talk.     Oi  cudn't  be  tillin'  ye 
9 


130          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

the  quarther  iv  what  she  sid,  but  the  wimmun 
ahl  listened  as  if  they  niver  did  be  hearin* 
annyt'ing  so  intheristin'  befoor,  an'  soom  iv 
thim  had  noate  books  an'  tuk  down  a  lot 
iv  ut. 

"  '  'Tis  the  jooty  av  ivery  wumman,'  she 
siz,  '  t'  be  be-ewtiffle.  An'  now  that  Airrt 
an'  Soyince  has  coom  to  the  assistince  iv 
Na-acher  an'  ma-ade  it  aisy  to  corrict  her 
mista-akes,  'tis  possible  fer  ivery  wumman 
to  be  as  be-ewtiffle  as  she  desoires  t'  be,  if 
oanly  she  do  be  willin'  to  take  a  bit  iv  pains 
wid  hersilf.  An  oogly  wumman/  she  siz, 
'is  an  affinse  to  the  oye/  she  siz,  a-shwapin' 
thim  black  oyes  iv  hers  oaver  the  ahjince. 

"'There  do  be  plinty  iv  affinsis  prisint,' 
siz  Mary  Ann. 

"  '  Roight  ye  arre  !  '  siz  Oi. 

" '  An  affinse  to  the  oye  !  '  siz  the  Maddim, 
'  an'  a  nadeliss  wan.  Oh,  Wumman  ! '  she 
siz,  lanin'  oaver  an'  rachin'  out  her  arrums, 
'wud  ye  not  rather  be  be-ewtiffle  than 
oogly? ' 

" '  Shure ! '  Oi  siz,  fer  she  was  lukin* 
sthraight  at  me,  an'  Oi  t'ought  'twas  oanly 
civil  t'  be  answerin'  her. 

"  '  Luk  at  me  ! '  she  siz.  '  Shure  there's 
niver  the  wumman  in  this  hahl  as  oogly  as 


The  Beauty  Doctor.  131 

Oi  was  befoor  Oi  larrned  the  Airrt  iv  Beauty,' 
she  siz. 

"  '  Faith  ye  must  have  been  a  freight ! ' 
Oi  siz. 

"  '  Oi  was  hidjis  ! '  she  siz.  '  Oi  was  shtoop 
shouldhered  an'  Oi  had  a  hoigh  shtummick 
an  me,  an'  Oi  was  frickled  an'  squint-oyed 
an'  yally-skinned  an'  shnub-noased  an'  wake- 
oyed  an'  bald-hidded  wid  bad  tathe  an'  a 
bad  brith  an'  rid  hands  an'  an  awkwid  ga-ait 
an'  pimples  an'  black  hids  an'  the  divil  knows 
phwat,'  she  siz. 

"  Larrd  hilp  ye  ! '  siz  Oi. 

4< '  Me  hilth  was  miserible,  an'  Oi  was 
timpted  to  ta-ake  me  loife,  phwin  Oi  mit  a 
fa-amis  Frinch  Spishilist  an'  he  siz  t'  me, 
'  Me  poor  choild,'  siz  he,  •  Coom  t'  me  an' 
Oi  will  ma-ake  ye  a  quane  iv  beauty,'  siz  he. 
'  Behowld  his  wurrk  ! '  she  siz,  a  shpreadin' 
her  arrums  woide  an'  t'rowin'  back  her  hid, 
an*  rowlin'  her  oyes.  '  Can  anny  iv  yez 
foind  fault  wid  me  figger,  me  complickshin, 
me  hairr,  me  faytures,  or  anny  t'ing  about 
me? '  siz  she. 

"  '  Now,'  siz  she, '  there's  not  wan  iv  yez  but 
kin  be  as  be-ewtiffle  as  me  if  ye  want  t'  be.'  " 

"  Bedad,  she  had  a  foine  consate  iv  her- 
silf !  "  interjected  Mrs.  Flanigan. 


132          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  She  did  that  sa-ame  ;  Oi'll  not  denoy  ut. 
But  there  was  some  ixcuse  ferher  phwin  she 
luked  at  that  ahjince.  Be  cahnthrast  she 
was  Vaynus  hersilf. 

"  '  Aw,  me  poor  sufferin'  sisthers  !  '  she  siz. 
'  Coom  to  me !  Pit  yersilves  in  moy  hands, 
an'  lave  me  tache  yez  to  be  be-ewtiffle  !  Arre 
ye  too  fat  ?  Oi'll  show  ye  the  ixercoises  an' 
the  doyut  that'll  be  rayjoocin  ye  tin  pounds 
a  wake,  pervoidin'  ye  take  two  bahtles  iv  me 
silliba-ated  Anti  Obaseniss,  at  two  dallers 
the  bahtle?  Have  yez  a  bad  complickshin  ? 
Me  complate  complickshin  outfit  at  foive 
dallers  the  fit,  '11  give  ye  a  shkin  loike  a 
suckin'  ba-abe's.  Arre  ye  baldhidded  ?  Me 
perfict  hair  risthorer  '11  grow  hair  an  anny 
t'ing  that's  livin'.  Oanly  wan  daller  the 
bahtle!  Arre  ye  wrinkled?  Lave  me  give 
ye  a  fa-ashill  missargewid  me  fa-amiss  shkin 
food,  oanly  two  dallers  the  box,"  she  siz. 
'  Me  wurrld  renowned  systim  iv  physikil 
coolcher  '11  give  ye  a  perfict  figgeran'  a  foine 
kerridge,  an'  ye'll  be  a-able  to  win  the  luv  iv 
the  man  who  won't  luk  at  ye  now,  an'  kape 
the  luv  iv  the  husbind  that's  comparin'  ye 
wid  some  younger  an'  handsimer  wumman.' 

"  Afther  some  moare  talk  loike  that  she 
wint  out  and  drissed  up  in  a  lahng  phwoite 


The  Beauty  Doctor.  133 

gown  loike  the  wans  they  pit  an  the  shtat- 
utes,  an'  a  gairrl  played  a  chune  an  the 
pianny,  phwoile  Maddim  Beau-aisy  dhraped 
hersilf  around  the  platform  in  a  lot  iv  dif- 
ferint  posishins,  kapin'  toime  to  the  music. 
'Twas  moighty  purty.  Phwin  the  show  was 
oaver  she  ga-ave  notuss  that  she  had  tuk 
some  rooms  an  Wabish  Av'ner  an'  she  wud 
be  plazed  to  see  anny  la-adies  that  was  in- 
theristed,  an'  she  wudn't  charrge  annyt'ing 
fer  advoice." 

"  An'  ye  wint  there  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Flani- 
gan,  with  interest. 

Mrs.  Casey  laughed  sheepishly. 

"Ye  didn't  be  knowin'  'twas  sich  an  ould 
fool  Oi  was,  did  ye  ?  Shure  Oi  didn't  mesilf. 
Oi  didn't  t'ink  Oi'd  be  goin'  at  ahl  at  ahl, 
an'  Oi  towld  Mary  Ann  that  sa-ame.  But 
phwin  Oi  was  tillin'  Moike  iv  ut,  he  samed 
dishap'inted  that  Oi  had  nothin'  done  to 
ma-ake  me  luk  foine  an'  stoylish,  an'  Oi  got 
to  t'inkin*  iv  ut  wan  day,  an'  Oisiz  to  mesilf, 
'Twill  do  no  harrum  to  go  an'  see  phwat 
she'll  be  sayin'  to  me.  Moike's  a  good 
shtiddy  man,  an'  Oi've  sane  no  soigns  iv  his 
comparin'  me  wid  anny  younger  an'  hand- 
simer  wumman,  as  the  Maddim  was  afther 
shpakin'  av,  but  begorra,  there's  no  tellin*. 


134          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

Oi'm  gettin'  ould  an*  fat,  an'  beloike  'tis  not 
aisy  fer  him  to  raymimber  that  Oi  was  good 
lukin'  vvanst.  Perhaps  the  Maddim  kin  fix 
me  up  a  bit.  Oi'll  go  see.' 

"  So  Oi  wint.  Oi  sid  nothin'  to  Moike  or 
Mary  Ann  or  anny  wan,  but  jist  wint  be 
mesilf. 

"  Oi  had  to  wait  a  phwoile  till  some  other 
wimmun  was  fixed  up,  but  at  last  she  axed  me 
into  a  little  room  ahl  be  mesilf.  She  was 
drissed  in  a  phwoite  shurrt  waist,  an*  a  gray 
skurrt  that  fitted  her  loike  the  pa-aper  an 
the  wahl,  an'  she  siz  to  me,  awful  perloite, 

"  '  Phwat  kin  Oi  be  doin'  fer  ye,  Maddim  ?  ' 

"  '  Shure,  phwat  kin  ye  do  t'  make  me  a 
beauty,  mum  ? '  Oi  siz.  '  Oi'm  quoite  willin* 
t'  be  wan,  if  ye'll  ta-ake  the  job,'  Oi  siz.  '  Oi 
wud  be  wishin'  t'  be  done  in  furrst  class 
shtoyle,'  Oi  siz,  '  an'  me  man — Aldherman 
Casey  he  is — is  willin'  to  pay  fer  ut,'  Oi  siz. 

"  Well,  she  cudn't  shpake  at  furrst,  she 
was  tuk  wid  sich  a  fit  iv  cahfin'.  Oi  t'ought 
she'd  choak  to  dith,  an"  Oi  was  afther  shlap- 
pin'  her  an  the  back  roight  harrd  befoor  she 
coom  out  iv  ut,  but  at  last  she  siz, 

"  '  'Twill  take  a  dale  iv  pashince  an'  harrd 
wurrk  from  you  as  well  as  me,'  she  siz,  '  but 
Oi  suppose  ye're  prepared  fer  that,'  she  siz. 


The  Beauty  Doctor.  135 

"  '  Oi've  done  plinty  iv  harrd  wurrk  ahl  me 
loife,'  Oi  siz,  '  an'  had  a  plinty  iv  chanst  t' 
larrn  pa-ashince.  Oi'll  throy  t'  be  pa-ashint 
wid  ye,'  Oi  siz. 

"  She  had  another  fit  iv  cahfin' — 'twas  a 
terrible  cahf  she  had — Oi  advoised  her  t'  pit 
some  larrd  an  her  chist  phwin  she'd  be  goin' 
to  bid,  but  she  laughed  an' sid  'twas  nothin', 
though  Oi'd  be  schared  iv  ut  if  'twas  me. 

" '  Iv  coorse  ye'd  be  loikin'  to  begin  wid 
the  fa-ashil  missarge,'  siz  she.  So  Oi  tuk 
ahf  me  bunnit  an'  she  toyed  a  tow'l  round 
me  nick  an'  grased  her  hands  an'  tuk  me 
fa-ace  an'  gave  ut  the  wurrst  dhrubbin'  ye 
iver  heard  till  iv.  She  rubbed  ut  up  an' 
down,  an'  forward  an'  back,  an'  crassways, 
an'  round  an'  round,  an'  t'roo  an'  t'roo,  an' 
pinched  ut  an  shlapped  ut  an'  pulled  ut,  till 
Oi  was  riddy  t'  howl  fer  maircy. 

"  '  The  Saints  presairve  us  ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Lave 
a  little  shkin  t'  me !  "  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Tis  smoothin'  the  wrinkles  out,  Oi  am,' 
she  siz.  '  If  ye  coom  t'ree  toimes  a  wake  fer 
thratemint,  we'll  have  a  foine  smooth  shkin 
an  ye  in  a  few  wakes,'  she  siz.  '  Thin,  ivery 
noight,  ye  must  wash  yer  fa-ace  in  hot  wather 
an'  soap — use  only  me  antiskeptic  shkin  an' 
complickshin  soap — an  rinse  yer  fa-ace  in  six 


136          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

wathers,  furrst  hot  an'  thin  cowld  an*  roob  in 
me  fa-amiss  Magnolia  Shkin  Food/  she  siz. 
'  Thin  in  the  marnin"  ye  must  wash  yer  fa-ace 
in  cowld  wather  an'  rub  it. an'  the  tow'l  an' 
thin  rub  in  a  bit  iv  me  Matchliss  Maggeroot 
Ba'm,  an'  thin  dust  an  a  little  iv  me  Vilvut 
fa-ace  powdher  an'  a  s'pishin  iv  rooge.' 

"  '  Howld  an  !  '  Oi  siz.  '  Is  ut  paint  ye 
mane  ?  '  Oi  siz.  '  D'ye  t'ink  Bridget  Casey'd 
be  goin'  around  wid  paint  an  ? '  Oi  siz. 
'  Niver  a  bit  iv  ut ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Oi'm  a  daycint 
wumman  !  '  Oi  siz. 

"'Oh,  iv  coorse!'  she  siz.  'Ye  doan't 
nade  utannyhow,' she  siz.  '  Ye  have  a  foine 
color,  but  ye  have  a  few  shmall  frickils,  Oi 
see.  We  kin  aisy  take  thim  ahf.  Ahl  ye 
have  t'  do  is  to  dab  yer  fa-ace  t'ree  or  foor 
toimes  a  da-ay  wid  me  unroivilled  frickil 
loshin,  an'  always  rub  an  soom  o'  the  Ba'm 
an'  soom  powdher  phwin  ye  do  be  goin'  out,' 
she  siz.  '  Thin  ye'll  nade  soom  iv  me  cu- 
coomber  millik  to  whoiten  yer  shkin.' 

"  '  An*  phwin  wud  Oi  be  puttin'  that  an  ?  ' 
Oi  siz. 

"  '  Foor  or  foive  toimes  a  da-ay,'  she  siz. 
1  Thin  ye're  too  fat ! '  she  siz.  '  Ye'll  nade  t' 
be  rayjooced,'  she  siz.  '  Take  a  do-ase  iv  me 
Anti-Obaseniss  befoor  aich  male,  an'  phwin 


The  Beauty  Doctor.  137 

ye  coom  ag'in  Oi'll  tache  ye  some  ixercoises. 
Coom  a'gin  an  a  Froiday,  at  t'ree  o'clock/ 
siz  she  ;  an'  she  gave  me  a  bundle  iv  bahtles 
t*  fitch  away  wid  me,  an'  Oi  kim  hoame. 

"  Well  'twas  near  wearin'  me  out  to  ray- 
mimber  the  t'ings  Oi  had  to  do,  but  Oi 
t'ought  t'mesilf/' 'Tis  oanly  fer  a  few  wakes, 
till  the  job's  done  an'  thin  Oi  kin  lave  thim 
ahl  aff  ag'in.'  An  a  Froiday  Oi  wint  ag'in, 
an'  she  ga-ave  me  fa-ace  another  dhrubbin.' 

"  '  Ye're  doin'  well,'  she  siz.  '  Yer  shkin's 
much  safter  an'  phwoiterthan  it  was.  Kape 
an  in  the  good  wurrk,'  she  siz.  '  Now,'  she 
siz,  '  ye  must  have  yer  hid  shampood,'  an' 
she  turrned  me  oaver  to  another  wumman 
who  washed  me  wig  an'  dhroyed  ut  an'  done 
ut  up  foine.  Thin  another  wan  tuk  me  an' 
claned  me  finger  nails  and  shoined  thim  till 
ye  cud  see  yer  fa-ace  in  thim.  Thin  she 
roobed  me  hands  wid  wan  koind  iv  shtuff  t' 
make  thim  phwoite  an'  another  koind  iv 
shtuff  t'  made  thim  saft.  an'  the  ould  b'y 
knows  phwat  she  didn't  do  t'  me.  But  the 
wurrst  was  the  ixercoises.  The  Maddim 
hersilf  showed  me  thim. 

"'Ye  must  shtand  betther,'  she  siz. 
'  Howld  yer  chist  up!'  she  siz.  'An'  yer 
chin  out,  an'  yer  shouldhers  back,  an"  yer 


138          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 


in,  an  doan't  walk  an  yer  hales  but 
an  the  bahls  iv  yer  fate,'  she  siz,  an'  she 
hit  me  a  poonch  here  an'  a  poake  there  an* 
pulled  me  around  till  ivery  jint  in  me  cracked. 
'  Now  raise  yer  arrums  as  hoigh  as  ye  can, 
an'  bind  oaver  an'  touch  the  flure  widout 
bindin'  yer  knays,'  an'  she  showed  me  how. 

"  Oi  throyed  ut,  but  it  near  bruk  me  back, 
an*  Oi  cudn't  rache  widin  a  fut  iv  the  flure. 

"  '  Ye'll  have  t'  kape  throyin*  till  ye  do  ut,' 
she  siz.  Thin  she  had  me  shvvingin'  me 
arrums  an*  me  fate  loike  a  windmill  an' 
braithin'  loike  a  harrse  wid  the  azmy  an' 
roisin'  an  me  toes  an'  down  ag'in. 

"  '  Doan't  coom  down  an'  yer  hales  as  if 
ye  were  breakin'  shtone,'  she  siz,  phwin  Oi 
was  doin*  the  toe  act.  '  Coom  down  so  ye 
wudn't  break  an  egg  if  'twas  undher  ye  !  ' 
May  be  ye  t'ink  that's  aisy,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ! 
Jist  throy  ut  wanst  ! 

"  Well,  phwin  Oi  got  t'roo  Oi  was  toirder 
than  if  Oi'd  done  t'ree  washin's  in  wan  da-ay, 
an'  Oi  a-ached  ahl  oaver.  '  Do  the  ixercoises 
fer  half  an  hour  ivery  noight  an  marrnin,' 
she  siz.  'An'  ye  must  walk  foive  moiles 
ivery  da-ay,  an'  ta-ake  a  cowld  bat'  ivery 
marrnin'  an'  a  hot  wan  at  avenin'  an'  ate  no 
praties  or  millik  or  shwates  or  tay  or  cahfee 


The  Beauty  Doctor.  139 

or  wather  or  fat  mate  or  butther  or  the 
loike  iv  thim  at  yer  males.' " 

"  Gra-ate  da-ay  !  "  ejaculated  Mrs.  Flani- 
gan  with  horror.  "  Phwat  ilse  is  there  t'  ate  ? 
'Tis  shta-arvin*  ye'd  be  !  " 

"  Shure  !  That's  phwat  it  samed  t'  me 
at  furrst  till  Oi  t'ought,  'Aw  well,  Oi'll 
ma-ke  up  fer  ut  be  a  boite  an'  a  sup  betwane 
males.  There'd  be  no  harrum  in  that  Oi'm 
t'inkin  '.' 

"  Well,  Oi  wint  hoame  an'  throid  to  folly 
the  rools  she  did  be  givin'  me  an'  Oi  said 
nothin'  t'  anny  wan.  Oi  t'ought  Oi'd  wait 
till  the  t'ings  began  to  ta-ake,  an'  thin  they'd 
be  noticin'  the  improovemint,  an'  Moike 
wudn't  moind  the  soize  iv  the  bill. 

"  That  nixt  wake  was  the  harrdest  Oi  iver 
pit  in  in  me  loife,  an'  yistherda-ay  marrnin' 
Oi  heard  Mary  Ann  talkin'  to  her  Paw  phwin 
they  didn't  know  Oi  was  near  thim. 

" '  Oi  doan't  know  phwat's  coom  oaver 
Maw,'  she  siz.  '  She's  as  crass  as  two 
shticks  !  '  she  siz.  '  She  shnaps  me  up  ivery 
toime  Oi  shpake  to  her,  an'  she  gives  Mickey 
an'  Jahnny  a  batin'  ivery  da-ay,  an'  she 
doan't  ate  anny  t'ing,  an'  Oi've  not  heard 
her  sing  or  laugh  fer  a  n-ake,  an'  she  does  be 
lukin'  so  worrited  an'  pa-ale.  She  does  be 


140          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

gettin'  up  airly  in  the  marrnin'  an'  goin'  in 
the  shtore  room/  siz  she.  ('Twas  there  Oi 
did  be  goin'  to  do  the  gymnastics,  so  they 
vvudn't  be  catchin'  me  at  ut.)  '  An'  yisther- 
da-ay  marrnin,'  siz  she,  '  Oi  heard  somethin' 
fa-ahl,  an'  Oi  wint  in  there,  an'  she  was  sittin' 
in  the  middle  iv  the  flure  lukin'  so  quare  an' 
funny.'  ' 

Mrs.  Casey  stopped  to  laugh  at  the  recol 
lection. 

"  Ye  see  Oi  was  afther  shtandin'  an  wan 
fut  loike  a  shtorrk,  an'  ma-akin'  sorcles  in  the 
airr  wid  the  other  wan,  an'  Oi  lost  me  bal- 
ince  an'  sat  down.  It  did  be  ma-akin*  a 
froightful  n'ise,  Oi  bein'  no  fitherweight,  an' 
Mary  Ann  roon  in  wid  sich  a  sheared  fa-ace, 
an'  she  siz  : 

"  '  Phwat  iver's  the  matther  wid  ye,  Maw  ?  ' 

"  '  Gwan  out  iv  this  !  '  Oi  siz.  '  Can't  ye 
lave  me  have  a  bit  iv  quoit  to  sit  an  the  flure 
iv  a  marrnin' if  Oi  loike?'  Oi  siz.  'Go 
cha-ase  yersilf !  '  an'  she  wint. 

"  Well,  afther  Oi  heard  thim  talkin*  iv  ut 
loike  that,  Oi  wint  down  to  see  the  Maddim, 
an'  Oi  siz  to  her,  siz  Oi, 

"  '  How  much  lahnger  will  it  ta-ake  to  git 
t'roo  wid  this  job?'  Oi  siz.  'Me  fam'ly's 
beginnin'  t'  kick,'  Oi  siz,  '  an'  if  Oi'm  not 


The  Beauty  Doctor.  141 

done  soon  there'll  be  nothin'  lift  iv  thim  or 
me,'  Oi  siz. 

"'Aw!  ye  musn't  be  diskirridged,'  she 
siz.  '  Ye've  jist  ta-aken  the  furrst  shteps  an' 
there's  a  lot  moare  Oi  haven't  begun  to  min- 
shin  yit.  Fer  instince,'  she  siz,  '  Yer  noase 
it  not  quoite  the  roight  sha-ape  t'  be  sthrictly 
be-ewtiffle.  Wid  a  simple  little  opera-ashin, 
which  woan't  be  virry  ixpinsive,  we  kin 
ma-ake  it  pure  Grake.  Thin  yer  mouth  is 
too  woide.  It  nades  a  bit  iv  takin'  in  at  the 
carrners.  Ye  have  a  few  hairrsan  yer  upper 
lip  that  we'll  have  to  raymove  wid  an  elic- 
thrick  nadle.  Thin  ye'd  be  much  improoved 
boy  a  dimple  in  yer  cha-ake  or  yer  chin. 
That's  virry  aisy,'  siz  she.  '  Thin  there's  a 
lot  moare  ixercoises  that  ye  must  larrn,  an' 
ye'll  have  to  kape  up  the  thratemints  a  lahng 
phwoile  yit  if  ye  want  a  good  job.  Iv  coorse 
afther  Oi  git  t'roo  wid  ye,  ye  11  have  to  kape 
an  be  yersilf,  or  ilse  ye'll  be  as  bad  ahf  as 
iver,  but  Aldherman  Casey  '11  be  that  proud 
iv  ye  in  a  year  fr'm  now,  ye'll  be  paid  ferahl 
yerthrouble.  Ye  woan't  know  yersilf,  she  siz. 

"  '  A  year  ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Howly  shmo-oke  ! 
D'ye  mane  that  Oi'll  have  to  be  doin'  ahl 
these  bedivilmints  fer  a  year?  '  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Sairtinly,'  siz  she.      '  Not  oanly   that, 


142          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

but  as  lahng  as  ye  live,'  she  siz.  '  Atarnil 
villagince  is  the  proice  iv  beauty',  she  siz. 
1  Ye  must  always  kape  an  hand  a  full 
soopply  iv  me  unaquilled  pripera-ashins,' 
she  siz.  '  Oi  ma-ake  spishil  rayduckshins  to 
thim  as  ta-akes  a  coorse  iv  thratemints  wid 
me.  Ye'll  niver  be  able  to  do  widout  thim, 
an*  ye  must  use  thim  faithfully,  fer  no  la-azy 
wumman  kin  be  be-ewtiffle,'  siz  she. 

"'La-azy!'  Oi  scramed.  'D'ye  cahl 
Bridget  Casey  la-azy,  that  does  be  doin'  ahl 
the  cookin*  an'  schrubbin'  an'  washin'  an' 
oirnin'  an'  mindin'  fer  a  fam'ly  iv  eight  ?  '  Oi 
siz,  near  bustin'  wid  ra-age.  '  Shure  Oi  want 
no  moare  iv  yer  thratemints  or  yet  pripera- 
ashins,'  Oi  siz.  '  Oi  do  be  afther  gittin'  up 
in  the  middle  iv  the  noight  to  ma-ake  a 
rubber  wumman  an'a  circus  actorbat  iv 
mesilf,  an'  Oi've  soaked  mesilf  in  wather  till 
it's  loike  a  soggy  pratie  Oi  am  !  Oi've  roobed 
the  shkin  ahf  me  fa-ace  an'  hands  an'  cha- 
alked  mesilf  til  Oi  luk  loike  a  plaster  image, 
an'  Oi've  walked  the  shoes  ahf  me  fate,  an' 
have  a  pain  at  the  pit  iv  me  shtummick  this 
minnut  fr'm  shta-arvin  !  Oi've  done  ahl  the 
other  fool  t'ings  ye  towld  me  to  do,  an' 
Oi've  wurrked  loike  a  gallery  shlave  to  do 
ut,  an'  ye  have  the  fa-ace  to  cahl  me  la-azy! 


The  Beauty  Doctor.  143 

Or  t'ought  Oi  cud  go  t'roo  ut  if  'twas  fer  a 
sharrt  toime,  but  if  ut  manes  that  Oi'll  be 
havin'  t'  niglickt  me  fam'ly  an'  be  givin' 
mesilf,  body  an'  sowl,  to  t'inkin'  iv  nothin* 
but  me  luks  fer  the  rist  iv  me  da-ays,  Oi'll 
quit  now,  befoor  Oi  have  t'  be  tuk  t'  the 
loo.«#/-ic  assoylum  !  '  Oi  siz.  *  As  fer  me 
noase  an'  me  mug,'  Oi  siz,  '  the  Lord 
A'moighty  ma-ade  thim  afthera  good  Oirish 
patthern,'  Oi  siz,  '  an'  Oi'll  be  contint  t' 
wear  thim  till  He  ma-akes  me  some  betther 
wans ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Oi'm  goin'  sthraight 
hoame/  Oi  siz,  '  an'  cook  me  a  good 
dinner  iv  porrk  an'  cabbage  an'  praties,  an' 
ate  ut  an*  inj'y  mesilf,  aivin  if  Oi  do  be 
gittin'  that  fat  Oi  have  to  be  t'run  into  bid 
wid  a  derrick  ! '  Oi  siz. 

"  Oi  wudn't  tell  Moike,  so  Oi  paid  the  bill 
mesilf,  tho'  Oi'll  be  goin'  widout  the  new 
driss  Oi've  been  savin'  up  fer.  Oi  doan't 
doubt  there's  some  iv  thim  t'ings  that's  ahl 
roight  fer  thim  as  has  nothin'  ilse  to  do  but 
to  luk  purrty,  but  as  fer  mesilf,  Oi've  no 
toime  fer  anny  beauty  thricks  but  to  kape 
mesilf  daycintly  clane  an'  healt'y  an*  good 
na-atured  !  " 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

MARY   ANN'S   LOVERS. 

MRS.  CASEY'S  good-humored  countenance 
was  radiant  with  suppressed  excitement  as 
she  burst  in  upon  Mrs.  Flanigan  one  morn 
ing,  before  the  latter  had  finished  her  break 
fast  dishes. 

"  Phwat's  doin  '  ?"  asked  Mrs.  Flanigan  at 
once,  knowing  from  her  friend's  face  that  she 
bore  pleasant  news. 

"  The  dishes,  jist  now  !  gi'  me  a  tow'l  !  Oi 
lift  Jahnny  an*  Patsy  a  doin'  moine  phwoile 
Oi  do  be  goin'  t'  markit.  Bein'  Sathurday 
they're  hoame  ;  "  and  casting  aside  her  shawl, 
she  threw  herself  upon  the  task  of  dish 
wiping  with  vigor. 

"  Have  ye  seen  the  Donovans  lately  ?  "  she 
asked. 

"  Not  fer  a-ages.  Phwat's  happened  to 
thim?" 

"  Thin  ye've  not  heard  about  Tom  an' 
Mary  Ann  ?  " 

144 


Mary   Ann. 


—  Page   144 


Mary  Ann's  Lovers.  145 

"  Not  since  ye  towld  me  yersilf  that  she 
had  trun  him  down,"  said  Mrs.  Flanigan. 

"  Yis.  Oi  raymimber.  Iv  coorse  Tom 
quit  coomin'  to  the  house,  an*  'twas  manny 
a  da-ay  befoor  Oi  met  him.  But  wan  da-ay 
Oi  wintto  take  a  can  iv  broth  to  a  poor  ould 
widdy  wumman  that  was  doyin'  iv  con- 
soompshin  in  that  little  shanty  in  Crogan's 
Alley  (she's  gahn  since,  may  the  Hivins  be 
her  bid!).  As  Oi  had  me  hand  t'  the  dure, 
who  shud  coom  out  but  Tom  Donovan. 
Oi  was  that  startid  Oi  coom  near  dhrappin' 
me  baskit,  but  he  caught  ut  from  me,  an' 
siz, 

"  '  Phwat  have  ye  there,  Mother  Casey?' 
('twas  the  na-ame  he'd  larrned  to  cahl  me.) 
'  Soomthin'  good  fer  the  ould  la-ady,  Oi'll 
go  bail.  Shure  'tis  koind  iv  ye.  Go  in  an 
see  her.  'Tis  a  wumman's  hand  she  nades.' 

"  Oi  found  the  poor  crayther  sittin'  oaver 
the  foire  in  her  bit  iv  a  shtove,  an'  she  was 
glad  t'  see  me.  But  whoile  she  was  aytin'  the 
broth  she  cud  talk  iv  nothin'  but  Misther 
Donovan ;  how  good  he'd  been  to  her,  an' 
how  he'd  niver  lave  the  day  go  boy  wid- 
out  shtoppin'  to  shpake  the  cheerin'  wurrd 
to  her. 

"  '  An'  'tis  himsilf  that  brings  in  me  shcut- 


146          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

tie  iv  coals,  an'  me  bit  iv  wood  iv  a  marrnin',' 
siz  she,  '  an'  minds  the  foire  fer  me,  an'  sinds 
the  grocer  b'y  wid  me  boite  fr'm  the  shtore, 
an'  manny's  the  toime  there'd  be  no  coal 
or  wood  t'  burn,  or  boite  t'  ate,  if  't  weren't 
fer  him.  God  bliss  him  !  The  neighbors 
bees  koind,  but  they've  throubles  iv  their 
oahn,  an'  they  can't  alwa-aysbe  raymimb'rin' 
a  poor  lone  body  loike  me;  but  Misther 
Donovan  niver  fergits  me,  an'  Oi'm  not  the 
oanly  wan  that  has  cause  t'  bliss  the  da-ay  he 
was  put  an  this  bate.' 

"  Phwin  Oi  ca-ame  awa-ay,  Oi  found  Tom 
waitin'  fer  me  at  the  carrner,  an'  he  walked 
up  the  block  wid  me.  I  towld  him  how 
Oi'd  been  grievin'  fer  him,  an'  he  siz  : 

"  '  Doan't  worry  about  me,  Mrs.  Casey,' 
he  siz,  '  Oi'll  coom  t'rough  ahl  roight.  Jist 
give  me  a  little  toime.  Oi'll  not  denoy 'twas 
a  knock  down  blow,  but  Oi  know  Oi'm  not 
the  man  fer  Mary  Ann,  God  bliss  her ! 
There's  no  man  good  enough  fer  her,  an' 
that's  the  troot','  siz  he. 

"  '  Gwan  ! '  Oi  siz.  '  Mary  Ann's  a  good 
gairrl — betther  than  moast  ;  but  she's  noane 
too  good  fer  a  good  man,  an'  'tis  Tom  Don 
ovan  is  that  sa-ame  !  '  siz  Oi. 

"  '  T'ank   ye,    Mrs.    Casey,'    he    siz.     '  Oi 


Mary  Ann's  Lovers.  147 

know  me  limmuts.  Oi'd  lay  down  an* 
lave  Mary  Ann  walk  an  me  if  't  wud  plaze 
her,  but  Oi  cudn't  shoine  in  sassoyty  t'  sa-ave 
her  swate  loife.  May  be  if  Oi'd  had  a 
chanst  in  me  young  da-ays — 

"  '  Yer  young  da- ays  ! '  siz  Oi,  '  anny  wan 
wud  t'ink  ye  was  Metoosilum,  t'  hear  ye 
goin'  an,  an'  you  not  twinty-sivin  yet ! '  siz 
Oi. 

"  He  laughed,  an'  siz,  "  Ye  see  Oi've  lived 
a  good  bit  fer  me  years,  an'  Oi  fale  ould  jist 
now  ;  '  an'  a  koind  iv  sad,  toired  luk  coom 
oaver  his  fa-ace.  '  Phwin  Mary  Ann  an'  me 
was  goin'  t'  school  togither,'  he  siz,  '  Oi 
hoped  Oi'd  be  able  t'  go  t'rough  Hoigh 
School  too,  an'  Oi  aiven  had  a  poipe  dhrame 
iv  goin'  t'  college  soom  da-ay.  Oi  was 
foive  years  oldher  than  Mary  Ann,'  he  siz, 
'  but  we  was  in  the  sa-ame  class,  she  was 
that  broight  an'  quick,  an'  Oi  was  so  slow 
an*  dull.  But  Oi  cud  have  caught  up  wid 
soom  iv  the  swifter  wans  if  Oi'd  had  more 
toime.  But  me  father  died,  ye  raymimber, 
an*  Oi  had  to  lave  school  to  make  a  livin' 
fer  me  mother  an'  the  two  gairrls.  'Twas 
thin  Oi  got  the  job  in  the  livery  shtable. 
Oi  stayed  there  till  Oi  was  pit  an  the  foorce. 
Oi've  larrned  a  few  t'ings  yez  won't  foind 


148          Mrs/ Alderman  Casey. 

in  books,  but  it's  shmall  chanst  fer  study  Oi 
have.  Be  the  sa-aine  to-aken  Oi  fale  the 
lack  iv  ut  more  than  soom  that's  not  knowin' 
phwat  they're  missin'.  Oi  got  jist  enough 
to  fale  the  differince  betwane  me  an'  Mary 
Ann's  frinds,  an*  'tis  that  ma-akes  me 
awkwid  wid  thim,  aiven  more  than  Oi  am 
be  na-acher,  an'  that's  bad  enough.  May 
be,  if  Mary  Ann  had  been  willin'  t'  take  the 
throuble  wid  me,  Oi  moight  have  improved 
in  toime,'  siz  he.  '  Oi  doan't  sa-ay  Oi'd 
iver  be  able  t'  quote  po-thry,  or  lade  a  cotil- 
yin,  but  be  harrd  wurrk  Oi  moight  larrn 
t'  ate  wid  a  farrk  an'  have  soomthin'  t' 
sa-ay  about  phvvat's  goin'  an  in  the  wurrld 
outsoide  iv  me  oahn  bate,'  siz  he. 
"Jist  as  he  was  lavin'  me  he  siz: 
"  Oi've  been  taken  an  the  parrk  polace, 
as  Sarjint,  Mrs.  Casey.  Oi'll  have  a  chanst 
to  fale  a  harrse  undher  me  ag'in.  'Tis 
phwat  Oi've  lahng  been  wishin'.'  ('Tis  a 
foine  rigger  he  is  an  a  harrse,  Mrs.  Flani- 
gan.)  '  Have  an  oye  t'  the  ould  la-ady 
yonder,  now  an'  thin,  if  ye  can,'  siz  he, 
manin'  her  Oi  was  jist  afther  lavin'.  '  'Twill 
not  be  so  ahftin  Oi  can  get  to  see  her.' 

"  Oi  towld  Mary  Ann  ahl  Oi'd  sane  an' 
heard,   phwin  Oi   got   hoame.      She   hiked 


Mary  Ann's  Lovers.  149 

sober,  an'  was  moighty  quoit  loike  ahl  the 
avenin',  but  she  didn't  say  annyt'ing." 

The  dishes  being  "  done  "  and  put  away, 
Mrs.  Casey  carefully  spread  the  damp  towel 
on  a  bit  of  line  behind  the  stove  and  seated 
herself  in  the  rickety  rocker,  which  squeaked 
musically  on  the  uneven  floor  as  she  rocked 
to  and  fro,  her  eyes  reminiscently  thought 
ful. 

"  Soon  afther  that  she  jined  the  lither- 
ary  cloob — the  Blackin' — no — that's  not  it  ! 
Phvvat  is  ut  at  ahl !  Blooin'— no — oh,  Brow- 
nin' !  That's  the  na-ame  !  The  Brownin* 
Cloob.  Brownin'  was  a  man  that  wroate  a 
book  wanst." 

"  There  do  be  a  man  be  that  na-ame  kapes 
a  clothin'  shtore  down  town,"  observed  Mrs. 
Flanigan,  who,  it  must  not  be  supposed  had 
been  silent  all  through  this  story.  Her  re 
marks,  however,  as  was  usual  at  such  times, 
having  been  chiefly  of  an  interjectory  char 
acter,  had  in  no  wise  interrupted  the  steady 
flow  of  Mrs.  Casey's  speech — a  tide  at  all 
times  difficult  to  stem,  and  especially  so 
when  the  subject  thereof  was  Mary  Ann. 

"Yis,"  replied  Mrs.  Casey,  anent  the  man 
by  the  name  Browning,  "  Oi  raymimber. 
Moike  bought  a  shute  iv  clothes  ahf  him 


150          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

wanst.  Maybe  he's  soom  rela-ashin.  The 
man  that  wroate  the  book  lived  in  Bostin 
though,  Oi  t'ink.  The  cloob  is  both  fer  la- 
adies  an'  gints,  an'  mates  at  the  house  iv  wan 
iv  the  Hoigh  School  tachers.  There's  about 
tvvinty  belahngs  to  ut.  The  Gilhooleys  an' 
a  lot  more.  Oi  doan't  know  manny  iv  thim. 
Well,  Oi  soon  began  to  hear  about  a  man  be 
the  na-ame  iv  Baxther,  who  wint  there. 
Mary  Ann  was  ahftin  shpakin  iv  him,  an' 
Rosy  an'  Annie  did  be  alwa-ays  tazin'  her 
about  him,  fer  'twas  quoite  gahn  an  her  he 
was,  they  sid.  'Twas  Misther  Baxther  this, 
an*  Misther  Baxther  that,  an'  the  bewtiffle 
t'ings  he'd  be  sayin'  at  the  cloob,  an'  the  illi- 
gint  way  he  cud  rade  the  pomes,  an'  the  com- 
plimints  he  was  afther  givin'  Mary  Ann,  an* 
the  books  he'd  be  sindin'  her,  an'  the  foine 
oyes  he  had,  an'  so  han'sim  he  was,  an'  sich 
manners,  an'  the  loike  o'  that. 

"  '  An'  phwat  does  he  be  doin*  fer  a  livin'  ?  ' 
Oi  siz, 

"  '  He's  studyin'  Airrt  at  the  Institoot,' 
siz  Mary  Ann.  '  He  has  great  talint,'  she 
siz. 

"  '  Who  towld  ye  so  ?  '  siz  Oi. 

" '  Oh,  he  towld  me  phwat  the  airtists  siz 
iv  his  wurrk.' 


Mary  Ann's  Lovers.  151 

"  '  He's  lukin'  fer  a  woife  that's  willin'  t' 
support  him  Oi'm  t'inkin','  Oi  siz,  fer  Oi 
didn't  take  much  shtock  in  him.  Perhaps 
'twas  beca'se  Oi  was  jealiss  fer  Tom. 

"  '  Now,  Maw,'  siz  Mary  Ann,  '  He's  an 
annerible  gintleman  an*  Oi  t'ink  he  has 
manes,  be  the  cloas  he  wears  an'  the  money 
he  shpinds,'  she  siz. 

"'Huh!'  siz  Oi.  'Ye  can't  always  be 
tellin'  be  that !  Perhaps  soom  wan  ilse  goes 
widout,  t'  kape  him  so  flush,'  Oi  siz.  '  Go 
aisy  wid  him  ! '  Oi  siz. 

"  At  last  wan  da-ay  she  had  a  note  fr'm 
him  axin'  her  to  go  sleigh  roidin'  wid  him. 
('Twas  jist  afther  that  last  snow  shtorm.) 

"  An  the  da-ay  (Sathurda-ay  it  was),  he 
drove  up  to  the  dure  wid  a  gay  cutther  an'  a 
loively  lukin'  harrse,  an'  he  shure  was  a 
soight  to  take  a  gairrl's  oye.  He  had  an  a 
fur  overcoat,  an'  a  fur  cap  an'  gloves,  an'  his 
hair  was  currly  an'  his  chakes  as  pink  as  a 
gairrl's.  He  wasn't  tall  nor  big,  loike  Tom, 
but  he  was  that  illigint  lukin',  an'  his  v'ice 
so  saft  an'  wheedlin',  an'  phwin  he  tuk  me 
hand  an'  give  ut  sich  an  admoirin'  squaze — 
jist  tinder  enough  t'  be  flattherin',  but  not 
enough  t'  be  takin'  a  liberty  wid  ye,  d'ye 
moind? — Oi  siz  t'  mesilf. 


152          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"'Aha!  me  young  honey  burrd  !  Tis 
Bridget  Casey  that's  an  t'yer  smooth  wa-ays  ! 
'Tis  a  moighty  purrty  p'ace  iv  dhroy  goods 
ye  arre,  an'  virry  saft  falin',  but  Oi'm  not 
shure  ye're  ahl  wool  yet !  Troth,  Oi  have 
me  sispishins  iv  ye  ! ' 

"  Oi  tuk  him  into  the  pa-arlor  an'  sat 
down  to  inthertain  him,  fer  'twas  a  bit  airly 
an'  Mary  Ann  wasn't  riddy.  He  tukahf  the 
fur  gloves  an'  roobed  his  hands  a  bit.  They 
was  moighty  slim  an*  whoite,  an'  he  had 
two  or  t'ree  jooled  rings  an  thim,  an'  they 
shmelled  iv  foine  scinted  soap. 

"  '  Is  Aldherman  Casey  well  ?  '  siz  he. 

"  '  He's  foine.'     Oi  siz.     '  How's  yersilf  ?  ' 

" '  Quoite  well,  t'anks,'  siz  he. 

"  '  'Tis  grand  winter  weather  we're  havin',' 
Oi  siz. 

"  '  Glorious  ! '  siz  he.  '  The  air  is  as  ixilly- 
ratin'  as  champagne,'  he  siz. 

"  '  Oi  niver  tasted  the  shtuff,'  Oi  siz,  '  but 
maybe  ut  is.' 

"  '  Oi  doan't  shpake  fr'm  faymiliar  ixpay- 
ri'nce,'  he  siz.  '  Oi  but  used  a  commin  figger 
iv  spache.' 

"  '  Indade,  an'  ye  doan't  luk  as  if  ye'd  have 
the  hid  fer  much  iv  ut — the  drink — Oi  mane/ 
Oi  siz. 


Mary  Ann's  Lovers.  153 

"  He  give  me  a  quick  look  an'  picked  up 
wan  iv  Mary  Ann's  books  fr'm  the  table. 

"  '  Arre  yez  fond  iv  howls  ? '  he  siz, 
turrnin'  oaver  the  laves. 

" '  Oi  can't  sa-ay  Oi  am,'  Oi  siz.  '  Oi 
niver  heard  anny  that  was  agrayible  t'  me 
ears,  phwither  it  was  the  dog's  or  the  baby's 
or  the  b'ys'  phwin  they  gits  a  batin,'  Oi  siz. 

"'  Oi  refurred  t'  the  ahthor  iv  this  book,' 
he  siz.  '  Misther  Howls.  He  do  be  a  foine 
wroiter.' 

"  '  Oh  yis,'  Oi  siz.  '  Mary  Ann  loikes  the 
book.  Oi  dare  say  ut's  foine,  but  Oi  cudn't 
kape  awake  phwin  she  troid  t'  rade  ut  to  me, 
so  Oi  can't  say  much  about  ut.  There's  wan 
that  Larry  had  fr'm  the  loiberry  last  wake 
that's  grand  though.  'Tis  wan  iv  thim  de- 
tictuv  shtories.  Oi  fergit  the  na-ame  iv  ut, 
but  it'll  not  oanly  kape  ye  awake  doorin'  the 
radin',  but  ahl  the  noight  afther,'  Oi  siz. 

"  '  Oi  shud  inj'y  hearin'  yer  opinyin*  iv  me 
frind  Misther  Ibson,'  he  siz.  '  Ye  have 
sich  an  incriminatin'  ta-aste,'  he  siz,  givin' 
me  a  flattherin'  luk  fr'm  the  big  brown  oyes 
iv  him."  ("  Z?wcriminating,  "  was  the  word 
Mr.  Baxter  used,  but  perhaps  the  other 
would  have  been  equally  appropriate.) 

" '  Bring  him    around    some    noight,'    Oi 


1 54          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

siz,  an*  Oi'll  seize  him  up  fer  ye.     Does  he 
wroite  books  ?  '  Oi  siz. 

" '  He  has  written  a  few,'  siz  he. 

"  '  Detictuv  shtories  ?  '  siz  Oi. 

<c'Not  ixactly,'  siz  he.  '  Tis  problum 
pla-ays  he  wroites  moastly.' 

"  '  Oi  niver  heard  iv  thim  koind,'  Oi  siz. 
'  Is  it  somethin'  in  the  tin,  twinty,  thurrty 
loine?'  Oi  siz.  'Till  him  to  bring  thim 
around  an'  rade  thim  to  Larry.  He  do  be  a 
judge  iv  a  good  pla-ay,  an'  he'll  till  him 
whether  they  '11  ta-ake  or  not.' 

"  'T'anks  ahf'ly,  Mrs.  Casey,'  he  siz.  '  Oi 
'11  minshin  ut  to  Misther  Ibson.  If  he  can 
abtain  Misther  Larry's  approovle  '  twill  be 
the  makin'  iv  him,  Oi'm  shure.' 

"  '  Thrue  fer  ye,  Misther  Baxther  !  Oi  siz. 
'  Larry's  the  b'y  that  knows  a  good  t'ing 
phwin  he  sees  ut,  an'  he'll  not  be  afraid 
t' till  him  phwat's  wrang  wid  ut  ayther.  He 
siz  some  iv  the  stunts  they  do  be  pittin'  an 
at  the  voodyville  bees  that  rank  they'd  give 
ye  a  pain.' 

"'Oi've  no  doubt  iv  ut ;  not  the  laste, 
Mrs.  Casey,'  he  siz.  '  Phwat  you  say  con- 
furrms  me  opinyin  iv  Misther  Larry's  pur 
pycatisty.'  (Oi  fink  that's  the  wurrd  ;  'twas 
foine,  large,  illigint  wurrds  he  did  be  usin'.) 


Mary  Ann's  Lovers.  155 

"  Jist  thin  Mary  Ann  ca-ame  in.  Her 
oyes  was  broight,  an'  her  chakes  rid,  an'  she 
luked  hansim  enough  t'ate,  but  Oi  t'ought  she 
samed  mad  about  soomthin',  an'  Oi  was  sur- 
proised  that  she  acted  so  haughty  loike,  phwin 
Misther  Baxther  shuk  hands  wid  her ;  fer  ye 
cud  see  wid  half  an  oye  that  there  was  no 
ma-ake  belave  about  his  admoirin'  her. 

"  As  they  was  goin'  out  the  dure  Oi  found 
out  phwat  the  matther  was,  fer  she  sid  in  a 
v'ice  that  wud  fraze  ye  shtiff, 

" '  Oi  doan't  t'ink  'tis  koind  iv  ye  t'  be 
makin'  fun  iv  me  payple,  Misther  Baxther,' 
siz  she. 

"  Thin  the  dure  shut,  an'  Oi  cudn't  hear 
phwat  he  sid.  Oi  was  a  bit  knocked  oaver 
mesilf,  fer  Oi  hadn't  the  laste  sispishin  he 
was  makin'  fun  iv  me.  He  was  so  sayrious 
loike,  niver  crackin'  a  smoile  the  whole  toime. 
Oi  t'ought  to  mesilf,  '  Ye've  pit  yer  fut  in  ut 
now,  me  young  shwell !  Mary  Ann  knows 
well  enough  she's  smarter  th'n  the  rist  iv  us, 
but  it's  a  cowld  da-ay  fer  anny  wan  that 
dares  show  they  notuss  ut — bliss  the  thrue 
hairrt  iv  her  !  ' 

"  About  an  hour  afther  that,  Oi  waslukin' 
out  the  windy,  phwin  a  docther's  cab  dhrove 
up,  an'  Oi  saw  an  ould  gintleman  helpin' 


156          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

Mary  Ann  out  iv  ut.  Oi  was  that  sheared 
Oi  cud  hardly  git  to  the  dure,  an'  Oi  must 
have  showed  ut  in  me  fa-ace,  fer  she  siz, 

"  '  Doan't  be  froightened,  Maw,  Oi'm  not 
hurrt !  ' 

"  '  Not  a  bit,  Mum/  siz  the  docther. 
'  She's  jist  had  a  bit  iv  a  shock,  but  she's 
ahl  roight  now.' 

"  Thin  she  towld  me  how  ut  was. 

"  They  was  dhroivin'  up  the  boolevard, 
phwin  a  b'y  t'rew  a  snowbahl  an'  hit  the 
harrse,  an'  he  began  to  roon.  Misther  Bax- 
ther  throid  at  firrst  to  quoit  him,  but  afther 
two  or  t'ree  blocks  iv  ut  he  lost  his  hid  an' 
yells,  '  Jump  out  an'  sa-ave  yersilf  !  '  an'  out 
he  skips  into  a  big  snow  dhrift.  Mary  Ann 
snatched  the  reins  as  he  dhrapped  thim,  fer 
she  didn't  dare  joomp.  She  pulled  fer  her 
loife,  wid  the  harrse  goin'  in  woild  lapes,  an' 
the  cutther  scarce  touchin'  the  ground.  Be 
good  luck  the  road  was  smooth,  an'  ivery- 
t'ing  got  out  iv  the  wa-ay,  but  she  filt  her 
strengt'  goin'  an'  t'ings  begun  t'  turrn  black 
befoor  her  oyes,  phwin  she  heard  a  man's  v'ice 
behoind  her  shout,  '  Howld  toight,  Molly 
gairrl,  Oi'll  catch  him  ! '  The  nixt  minnut 
Tom  was  up  wid  her  an  a  big  gray  harrse. 
Thin  he  was  at  the  baste's  hid  sthrugglin' 


Mary  Ann's  Lovers.  157 

wid  him.  Thin  the  nixt  t'ing  she  raymim- 
bered  was  foindin*  hersilf  loyin'  an  a  snow 
bank  wid  a  crowd  iv  payple  around  her  an' 
soomwan  rubbin'  snow  an  her  fa-ace. 

"  The  docther  happened  to  be  passin',  an* 
he  sid  he'd  bring  her  hoame.  She  throid 
t'  git  a  chanst  t'  spake  wid  Tom,  but  as  soon 
as  he  saw  she  was  ahl  roight,  an'  goin*  t'  be 
tuk  hoame,  he  shlipped  awa-ay,  lavin'  another 
polaceman  t'  take  the  harrse  an'  cutther 
back  to  Misther  Baxther.  She  didn't  wait 
fer  him,  the  coward  ! ' 

"  That  noight  she  wrote  a  letther  to  Tom. 
She  didn't  show  ut  to  me  but  Oi  t'ink  she 
hoped  it  would  bring  him  to  see  her.  Sorra 
a  shtep  did  he  coom  near  though,  an'  she 
was  moighty  quoit  ahl  the  nixt  wake. 

"  The  noight  afther  the  sleigh  roide, 
Misther  Baxther  ca-ame  to  see  her,  but  she 
towld  Patsy  to  till  him  she  was  inga-aged 
an'  cudn't  see  him. 

"  She  didn't  goto  the  cloob matin'  ayther, 
an  the  nixt  da-ay  the  Gilhooley  gairrls  ca-ame 
to  see  phwat  was  the  matther.  Afther  a 
phwoile,  Oi  heard  Rosy  sa-ay, 

" '  So  ye're  goin'  t'  take  back  yer  big 
polaceman,  arre  ye  ?  ' 

" '  Oi  doan't  know  as  Oi'll  have  a  chanst 


158          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

t*  take  him  back  !  '  siz  Mary  Ann,  '  but  lit  me 
till  youse  gairrls,  there's  more  to  Tom 
Donovan  than  you  t'ink.  He'll  niver  know 
phwether  Ibson  was  the  Imp'roriv  Chiny  or 
a  Bow'ry  saloon  kaper,  an'  he'll  care  liss,  an' 
he  may  niver  be  able  to  till  an  imprishinist 
paintin'  fr'm  the  masterpieces  the  kinder 
garten  kids  turrns  out,  an'  shmall  blame  to 
him.  Oi  have  a  horrible  sispishin  that  he 
loikes  rag  toime  betther  th'n  Sho-pang,  an' 
he'll  probilly  alwa-ays  prayfur  walkin'  up  the 
tail  iv  yer  gown  t'  walkin'  besoide  ye,  but 
he's  a  man,  an'  Oi'm  proud  to  know  him, 
which  is  more  than  Oi'll  say  fer  Misther 
Williby  Baxther!  Oi've  been  doin'  a  power 
iv  t'inkin'  this  last  mont'  or  two,  an'  Oi've 
ma-ade  up  me  moind  there's  a  few  t'ings 
betther  worth  havin'  th'n  aivin  iddica-ashin  ; 
an'  thrue  manliniss  is  wan  iv  thim,  an'  on- 
silfishniss  is  another.  Phwat  do  ye  t'ink  Oi 
heard  yistherda-ay  ?  Williby  Baxther's 
mother  an'  sisther  ta-ake  in  sewin*  an'  narely 
shtarve  thimsilves,  to  give  him  coolcher  an' 
foine  cloas.  Tom  Donovan  gave  up  his 
iddicashin  that  his  sisthersmoight  have  wan, 
an*  'twasn't  beca'se  he  didn't  want  phwat  he 
ga-ave  up  ayther.  He  may  niver  rade  a  book, 
or  shpake  a  loud  wurrd  in  coompany  ;  he 


Mary  Ann's  Lovers.  159 

may  aivin  dhrink  out  iv  the  finger  bowls  if  ut 
shud  plaze  him,  fer  ahl  Oi  care  !  He'll  still 
be  hid  an'  shouldhers  above  anny  other  man 
Oi  know,  an'  Oi—  -'  wid  that  she  was  an  the 
sofy,  croyin'  an'  sobbin',  an'  the  gairrls 
huggin'  an'  comfortin'  her. 

"  Wid  me  hairrt  dancin'  a  jig  insoide  iv 
me,  Oi  shlipped  out  iv  the  house  an'  ma-ade 
thracks  fer  the  Donovan's  that  noight,  an' 
the  grass  didn't  be  growin'  undher  me  fate 
ayther.  Be  good  luck  Tom  was  hoame,  an' 
he  ca-ame  t'  the  dure.  Oi  didn't  wait  fer 
manners,  but  Oi  siz, 

" '  Tom  Donovan,  arre  ye  still  wishin'  to 
marry  me  Mary  Ann  ?  ' 

" '  Oi  doan't  t'ink  ye  nade  t'  ax  me  that 
queschin,  Mrs.  Casey,'  siz  he. 

"  '  Well  thin,  git  a  move  an  ye !  '  Oi  siz. 
'  'Tis  aytin'  her  hairrt  out  fer  ye  she  is.' 

"  He  turrned  whoite  fer  a  minnut,  though 
his  fa-ace  was  shoinin'.  Thin  he  shuk  his 
hid  sad  loike,  an'  siz, 

"  '  Oi'm  fearin'  ye're  mistakin,  Mrs.  Casey. 
She's  sorry  fer  me,  an'  ma-akes  much  iv  me 
catchin'  the  harrse  fer  her ;  that's  ahl. 
'Twas  nothin' ;  Oi  was  goin'  the  rounds  in- 
shpectin',  an'  thank  God  Oi  happened  there 
at  the  roight  toime,  though  anny  iv  the  min 


160          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

would  have  done  the  sa-ame.  'Tisahl  in  the 
da-ay's  wurrk.' 

"  '  Oi  tell  ye  Oi'm  not  mistakin ! '  Oi  siz. 
4  Oi  know  me  oahn  choild.'  An'  Oi  towld 
him  phwat  Oi'd  heard  that  afthernoon. 
'Now  will  ye  coom  back  to  her,  y'ould  bat?' 
Oi  siz. 

44  4  Oi'll  coom,  Mother  Casey,  God  bliss 
ye ! '  he  siz,  an'  near  wrung  the  hand  ahf  me. 

44  He  ca-ame  that  sa-ame Hivins! 

phwat's  that  clock  sthroikin'  ?  Noine !  An' 
me  sittin*  here  gassin'  as  if  there  was  niver 
the  lick  iv  wurrk  to  be  done  in  me  house  this 
blissid  da-ay  !  No,  Oi  can't  wait  t'  till  ye 
anny  moare  now.  The  weddin's  to  be  in 
A-april !  Coom  oaver  an'  Oi'll  till  ye  ahl 
about  ut.  Good-boy !  " 


CHAPTER  XV. 

MARY    ANN'S   TROUSSEAU. 

"  DID  ye  coom  oaver  t'  see  the  trow~so0, 
Mrs.  Flanigan?  Good!  Tis  foine,  though 
Oi  say  ut  that  shudn't.  Coom  roight  up 
shtairs.  We're  ahl  tore  up  down  here,  wid 
clanin'  the  pla-ace  fer  the  weddin'  doin's. 
Wasn't  Oi  lucky  t'  have  Mag  Hinnissey  t' 
hilp  me  fer  the  whole  wake  ?  It  bein'  Eas- 
ther  vacashin  Ellen  can  luk  afther  the  twins, 
an'  the  payple  Mag  washes  fer  arre  away,  so 
she  can  coom  ivery  da-ay.  Did  ye  git  yer 
invita-ashin  ?  " 

"  Yis.     Aint  they  rale  illigint  !  " 

"  'Dade  'n  they  arre !  Oh,  Mary  Ann  ! 
Here's  Mrs.  Flanigan  coom  t'  have  a  look  at 
yer  trow-soo  !  Coom  an'  show  her!  There 
thin  !  Doan't  that  be  lukin'  loike  bisnuss  ?  " 
and  Mrs.  Casey  waved  her  arm  proudly  in 
the  direction  of  the  mass  of  dainty  feminine 
belongings  laid  out  on  the  bed. 

Mrs.  Flanigan  gasped  in  astonishment  at 
the  display,  and  her  limited  stock  of  adjec 
tives  was  kept  more  than  busy  during  the 
ii  161 


1 62          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

next  hour.  Though  Mary  Ann  came  at  her 
mother's  request,  and  stood  ready  to  offer 
any  information  necessary,  it  was  Mrs.  Casey 
who  acted  as  show  woman  for  the  occasion. 

"  We'll  begin  wid  the — phwat  is  ut  Rosy 
Gilhooley  calls  ut  now,  Mary  Ann?"  laying 
her  hand  on  a  pile  of  snowy,  lace  trimmed 
garments. 

"  Lingerie,  Mother,"  laughed  Mary  Ann. 

"  Lahng-jerry  !  Yis,  that  the  b'y  !  We'll 
begin  wid  the  lahng-jerry.  There's  a  half 
dozen  iv  ivery  t'ing.  These  we  bought,  but 
these  we  ma-ade,  Mary  Ann  an'  me.  Oi 
want  ye  to  moind  the  imbr'id'ry  an'  the  him- 
stitchin'.  Oi  done  ut  wid  me  oahn  two 
hands.  'Tis  not  fussy,  but  it's  foine,  an'  Oi'm 
not  ashamed  iv  ut,  though  'tis  manny  years 
since  Oi  turrned  me  hand  t'  the  loike.  Oi 
was  taught  foine  nadle  wurrk  phwin  Oi  was 
a  gairrl.  That's  a  bit  iv  rale  ould  Oirish  lace 
Oi  brought  wid  me  fr'm  the  ould  coonthry. 
'Twas  me  A'nt  Mary  Ann  that  ga-ave  ut  t' 
me,  her  that  Mary  Ann  was  na-amed  fer. 
Oi  niver  had  annyt'ing  good  enough  to  put 
it  an,  so  it's  been  laid  away  in  the  ould  chist 
ahl  these  years.  'Tis  a  bit  yally,  but  'tis  the 
ra-ale  t'ing.  This  wan  is  purrty,  Oi  t'ink. 
The  tucks  an'  la-ace  ma-akes  a  noice  thrim- 


Mary  Ann's  Trousseau.         163 

min'.  That's  valley-seens  la-ace,  that  there. 
This  wan  is  torchin.  Now  Oi'll  show  ye  the 
clrisses — gownds,  Oi  shud  be  sayin' — nobody 
wears  drisses  anny  moare.  Oh  !  Oi've  larrn- 
ed  a  heap  o'  t'ings  since  the  driss  ma-aker's 
been  \vurrkin'  here. 

"  This  here's  the  sthrate  gown ;  jist  a 
little  walkin'  skurrt  an'  Aytin'  jackut  to 
wear  wid  shurrt  waists.  Aint  ut  nate  ?  Oi 
loike  that  succotash  braid  that's  on  ut." 

"  Soutache  braid,  Mother,"  suggested  Mary 
Ann. 

"  Aw,  well,"  chuckled  Mrs.  Casey,  "  Ye  see 
Oi  t'ought  succotash  was  moare  befittin'  wid 
an  Aytin  jackut.  'Tis  this  she'll  be  wearin' 
phwin  she  goes  awa-ay — wid  the  hat  to 
match,"  she  went  on.  "  Bring  ut  out,  Mary 
Ann,"  and  Mary  Ann  brought  forth  from  its 
box  a  saucy  turban  and  set  it  for  a  moment 
on  the  crown  of  dark  hair  that  framed  her 
piquant  face. 

"  It  luks  gra-and  an  ye  !  "  exclaimed  the 
admiring  Mrs.  Flanigan. 

"  Wait  till  ye  see  the  bist  wan  ! "  said 
Mrs.  Casey,  and  Mary  Ann  replaced  the 
brown  turban  with  a  dainty  creation  of  lace, 
pink  roses  and  sweeping  plumes  that  quite 
took  Mrs.  Flanigan's  breath  away. 


164         Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  'Tis  a  foine  fowl  thim  fithers  growed 
an  !  M  was  her  awe-struck  comment,  when 
speech  returned  to  her. 

"  Thrue  fer  ye,  Mrs.  Flanigan  !  an'  phwat 
d'ye  t'ink  ?  Mary  Ann  thrimmed  the  two 
o'  thim  hats  wid  her  oahn  hands !  She 
copied  thim  fr'm  some  Frinch  hats  she  sane 
down  town,  an'  the  Gilhooleys  say  ye 
cudn't  till  thim  apairt !  "  and  Mrs.  Casey 
glowed  with  pride  in  her  daughter's  skill. 

There  followed  the  display  of  more  bridal 
gear,  simple  but  pretty,  and  suitable  for  the 
needs  of  the  future  Mrs.  Donovan. 

"  Now  show  the  widd'n'  gown  ! "  said 
Mrs.  Casey,  at  last. 

"No,  I  can't  do  that.  No  one  is  to  see  it 
till  I  have  put  it  on  for  Tom.  He  must  see  it 
first,"  said  Mary  Ann,  blushing  delightfully. 

"  Well,  have  ut  yer  oahn  wa-ay,"  laughed 
Mrs.  Casey,  indulgently,  "  but  Oi'll  till  ye 
phwat  it  luks  loike,  Mrs.  Flanigan.  Here's 
a  schrap  iv  ut,"  and  she  extracted  from  the 
waste  basket  a  bit  of  satiny,  white  material 
and  spread  it  out  upon  her  knees. 

"  'Tis  pew-de-soy.  That's  the  na-ame  iv 
ut." 

"  Peau-de-soie,  Mother,"  corrected  Mary 
Ann. 


Mary  Ann's  Trousseau.         165 

"  Pody-s\vat — all  roight — an'  it  has  a 
thrail  to  ut,  an'  'tis  shcrambled  around— 

"  Shirred,  Mother  !  " 

"All  roight— shurred  ut  is — round  the 
skurrt  ;  an'  the  waist  has  a  Martha " 

"  Bertha,  Mother  !  ' 

"Aw,  phvvat's  the  differince?  Oi  knew 
ut  was  wan  iv  thim  na-ames — a  Bertha  iv 
la-ace  hangin'  oaver  the  shouldhers,  an*  a 
shtack  iv  la-ace  round  the  nick — 

"A  stock,  you  mean." 

"  Vis,  a  shtock — an'  pooffyin  la-ace  slaves 
to  ut  an'  a  la-ace  griddle " 

"  Girdle,  please,  Mother  !  " 

"  Aw  well !  gurrdle's  the  wurrd  thin  !  an' 
'tis  the  swatest  t'ing  ye  iver  clapt  yer  two 
oyes  an,  an'  she  luks  loike — gwan  out  now, 
Mary  Ann  !  We  doan't  nade  ye  no  moare 
— shure  Oi  mustn't  be  praisin*  her  to  her 
fa-ace,"  she  went  on,  when  Mary  Ann  had 
left  the  room,  "  but  'tis  a  foine,  illigint 
figger  she  is  in  ut  phwin  she  gits  an  her 
new  sthraight  front,  an'  Mrs.  Gilhooley  is 
goin'to  lind  her  her  ra-ale  la-ace  veil !  Phwat 
d'ye  t'ink  iv  that?  The  gairrls  can't  do 
enough  fer  her,  nor  fer  Tom  ayther,  an' 
'tvvud  plaze  ye  t'  see  the  wa-ay  they  git  an 
togither — the  gairrls  an'  Tom,  Oi  mane. 


i66          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

They  jist  lay  thimsilves  out  t'  be  noice 
t'  him,  an'  he's  coom  out  so,  he  do  be  a  dif- 
ferint  b'y !  He  was  here  last  noight 
phvvin  they  was  ahl  here,  an'  talkin'  and 
laughin'  and  joakin'  wid  thim  as  aisy  as 
aytin'.  The  gairrls  was  that  plazed,  an' 
Rosy  siz  phwin  they  was  goin',  '  Mary 
Ann,'  siz  she,  '  He's  jist  gra-ate  !  He's  no 
ind  iv  fun  phwin  ye  get  him  thawed  out  I 
An'  so  intheristin  !  Oi  wudn't  have  belaved 
ut !  '  May  be  ye  t'ink  Mary  Ann  wasn't 
proud  !  Ye  see  Oi  t'ink  Tom  ma-ade  up 
his  moind  Mary  Ann  shudn't  be  sorry  she 
tuk  him  back.  It  didn't  be  aisy  at  furrst, 
but  afther  he'd  made  an  attimpt,  an'  found 
the  gairrls  riddy  to  mate  him  half  wa-ay, 
the  wurrst  was  oaver,  an'  'twas  ahl  roight 
afther  that.  If  ye  ixpict  payple  to  luk  down 
an  ye  an*  hand  ye  the  oice  pitcher,  they'll  do 
ut,  shuret'ing,  an'  if  ye  fink  they  t'ink  ye're 
stoopid,  ye'll  act  stoopid,  noine  toimes  out 
iv  tin  ;  an'  voicy  vurrsy,  if  ye  put  up  a  good 
bluff  that  ye're  as  shmarrt  an'  know  as 
much  as  anny  wan,  an*  ixpict  ivery  wan 
t.'  belave  ut  an' give  ye  the  glad  hand,  they'll 
do  ut,  an' tin  to  wan  they'll  niver  beknowin' 
the  differince,  or  if  they  do,  it's  little  they'll 
care." 


Mary  Ann's  Trousseau.          167 

"Ahl  this  manes  a  dale  iv  wurrk,"  said 
Mrs.  Flanigan,  who,  during  Mrs.  Casey's  dis 
sertation,  had  not  ceased  to  gloat  over  the 
pretty  finery  upon  the  bed. 

"  An'  that's  no  dhrame,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ; 
but  Oi  doan't  begrudge  it.  The  phwoite 
t'ings  has  been  done  at  odd  toimes,  fer  a 
year  or  moare.  We  sewed  togither,  Mary 
Ann  an'  me,  and  manny's  the  swate  talk 
we  had  oaver  the  stitches.  We'll  both  be 
betther  women  fer  thim,  ahl  our  da-ays," 
and  a  tender  moisture  gathered  in  Mrs. 
Casey's  eyes. 

"  Now  Oi'll  show  ye  the  prisints  that's 
coom,"  she  went  on  briskly,  as  if  ashamed 
of  this  display  of  feeling.  "  Oh  yis  !  They've 
been  coomin'  fer  a  wake.  They  do  be 
undher  the  bid — ahl  that  wud  go  undher — 
t'hoidethim  fr'm  burrglars,"  and  Mrs.  Casey, 
with  much  secrecy,  and  many  grunts  and 
puffs  from  exertion,  produced  from  under 
the  bed  a  number  of  interesting  looking 
packages. 

In  the  language  of  the  society  reporter, 
"  the  presents  were  many  and  beautiful," 
albeit  the  taste  displayed  in  their  selection 
was  more  varied  than  is  usual  on  such 
occasions. 


i68          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"D'ye  moind  ahl  the  clocks?"  said  Mrs. 
Casey  as  she  exhibited  the  fifth  one.  "Shure 
they  ought  to  be  knowin*  the  toime  iv  da-ay. 
This  wan  is  fr'm  Rosy  an'  Annie  Gilhooley. 
Ye  know  they're  to  be  broidesmaids.  Tis 
the  foinist  wan  iv  ahl,  but  they're  goin'  to 
change  ut.  Oh  !  Oi  haven't  shown  ye  Mrs. 
Gilhooley's  prisint.  'Tis  this  chist  iv  bew- 
tiffle  linnun,  d'  ye  moind?  Ra-ale  Oirish 
linnun  too,  ut  is.  Did  ye  iver  see  sich  table 
clot's  an*  napkins?  'Twas  loike  Mrs.  Gil 
hooley  t'  have  the  good  sinse  t'  give  her  a 
t'ing  loike  that.  They  do  be  goin'  t'  kape 
house  in  a  nate  little  flat  over  near  the  parrk, 
ye  know." 

"  An'  phwat  becomes  iv  ould  lady  Dono 
van  ?  " 

"  She's  to  live  wid  Kate.  Both  iv  the 
gairrls  is  to  be  married  in  the  fall.  They'll 
marry  well  too." 

"  Aw,  but  that  do  be  an  illigint  vase !  " 
exclaimed  Mrs.  Flanigan,  as  Mrs.  Casey  re 
moved  the  wrappings  from  a  very  large  and 
showy  vase,  of  gaudy  coloring,  covered  with 
cheap  decoration. 

"  Shure  Oi  t'ink  'tis  a  beauty,  but  Mary 
Ann  turrns  up  her  nose  at  ut.  'Tis  from  the 
Fogartys.  Mary  Ann  siz  it  luks  as  if  they 


Mary  Ann's  Trousseau.         169 

throid  t'  git  the  biggest  t'ihg  they  cud  fer 
the  money.  She  siz  'tis  tawdhry,  an'  she'll 
be  ashamed  t'  have  ut  in  the  house.  '  Oi 
doan't  care  how  little  a  prisint  costs,'  she 
siz,  '  if  'tis  foine  iv  it's  koind.  Here's  a  bit 
iv  a  handkerchief  that  wan  iv  her  music 
pup'ls  ga-ave  her.  'Tis  as  plain  as  me  fa-ace, 
nothin'  but  the  bit  iv  himstitchin'.  But  'tis 
foine  as  a  cobwib,  an'  made  so  dainty  loike. 
There's  nothin'  she's  had  that's  plazed  her 
moare.  There's  the  dure  bell  ringin'  !  "  and 
Mrs.  Casey  flew  to  the  window.  "  There 
bees  the  ixpriss  waggin !  Mary  Ann  !  "  she 
called.  "  'Twill  be  another  prisint  fer  ye  !  " 
And  followed  closely  by  Mrs.  Flanigan,  she 
hurried  down  stairs.  Mary  Ann  was  already 
at  the  door,  signing  for  the  box  that  the  ex 
pressman  had  deposited  in  the  hall. 

"Glory!  but 'tis  a  big  wan  !  Roon  quick, 
Jahnny,  an*  fitch  the  hatchut !  I  wondher 
phwat  ut  is !  "  and  as  excited  as  if  the 
wedding  to  be  celebrated  was  her  own,  Mrs. 
Casey  proceeded  with  vigorous  blows  and 
wrenchings  to  pry  open  the  box. 

"  Whatever  it  is,"  said  Mary  Ann,  "  let  us 
hope  it  isn't  another  clock  ! " 

"  Betcher  'tis  !  "  said  Johnny,  stooping  to 
peer  under  the  edge  of  the  cover. 


170          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

'"  Git  yer  noase  out  iv  the  wa-ay  befoor  Oi 
shloice  a  pace  ahf  ut !  Moy  !  but  thim  nails 
is  tough  !  "  With  one  final  wrench,  the  cover 
gave  way,  and  four  pairs  of  hands  began  to 
tear  out  the  excelsior,  while  baby  Nora 
looked  on  in  high  glee,  and  Mrs.  Hennissey 
stood  in  the  doorway,  scrub  brush  in  hand, 
enjoying  the  excitement. 

In  less  time  than  it  takes  to  tell  it,  there 
was  exposed  to  their  eager  gaze — another 
clock  !  Mrs.  Casey  and  Mary  Ann  looked 
at  each  other  in  dismay,  while  Johnny 
danced  round  the  group  yelling, 

"  I  told  yer!  I  told  yer!" 

Mrs.  Casey  promptly  opened  the  front 
door  and  "  fired  "  the  noisy  youngster  out 
side.  Quiet  being  thus  summarily  restored, 
she  turned  to  Mary  Ann  who  was  inspecting 
the  card  accompanying  the  gift. 

"  Who's  it  frum  ?  "  she  asked. 

"  From  the  men  in  Tom's  old  precinct. 
This  is  Tom's  present,  not  mine.  Hear  this  ! 
'  Congratulations  and  best  wishes  to  the  best 
man  ever  on  the  Force,  from  his  old  com 
rades/  Here  are  the  names.  Tom  will  be 
so  pleased." 

"  He  will  that,  an'  'U.>  a  bewtiffle  clock," 
agreed  Mrs.  Casey. 


Mary  Ann's  Trousseau.         171 

"  AM  solid  gowld  ! "  said  Mrs.  Flanigan. 
"  Will  ye  be  kapin'  ut  ?  " 

"  Yes  indeed,"  said  Mary  Ann.  "  Two  or 
three  of  the  others  can  be  exchanged  per 
haps.  Anyway,  it's  nice  to  have  a  clock  in 
every  room." 

"  If  they  kape  an,"  said  Mrs.  Casey,  pes 
simistically,  "  ye'll  have  wan  fer  ivery  closit, 
not  to  be  minshinin'  the  coal  cellar  an'  the 
oice  bahx." 

"  If  ut  do  be  so  bad  as  that,  yer  neighbors 
moight  be  willin'  t'  care  fer  wan  or  two 
o'  thim  fer  ye,"  insinuated  Mrs.  Flanigan. 

"  Oh  !  have  ye  sane  the  pace  in  the  pa-aper 
about  the  widd'n',  Mrs.  Flanigan  ?  Wait 
till  Oi  show  ye  !  "  and  Mrs.  Casey  produced 
from  a  table  drawer  a  newspaper  which  bore 
the  marks  of  much  handling,  and  directed 
Mrs.  Flanigan's  distended  vision  to  a  para 
graph  in  the  society  column,  at  the  same 
time  reading  it  aloud  for  her  benefit,  with  an 
ease  born  of  many  proud  perusals. 

"  '  Miss  Mary  Ann  Casey,  the  atthractuv 
an'  talintid  daughther  " — D'ye  moind  that  ? 
'  attrhractuv  an'  talintid  ?  ' — iv  Misther 
Moichael  Casey,  the  pop'lar  aldherman  iv  the 
warrd' — did  ye  notuss  that,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ? 
'  \\\Q  pop'lar  aldherman — is  to  be  married  an 


172          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

Winsda-ay  iv  this  wake,  at  hoigh  noon,  in  St. 
Joseph's  Churrch,  to  Misther  Thomas  Dono 
van  who  is  rapudly  roisin'  an  the  parrk 
polace  foorce  iv  our  city,  be  raisin  iv  bra-ave 
an*  faithful  sairvuss.'  How's  that  fer  foine 
radin',  Mrs.  Flanigan?"  and  Mrs.  Casey, 
with  her  arms  akimbo,  swelled  with  import 
ance  till  she  came  dangerously  near  the  fate 
of  the  famous  toad  of  the  fable. 

Mrs.  Flanigan  was  sufficiently  profuse  in 
her  expressions  of  appreciation  of  the  honor 
conferred  upon  the  family  by  the  public 
press,  to  satisfy  even  Mrs.  Casey's  taste. 

"  Oi  suppose  ye'll  have  a  foine  blowout 
here  afther  the  church  doin's,"  continued 
Mrs.  Flanigan. 

"  Oh,  'twill  be  gra-and,  though  the  coom- 
pany'll  be  shmall.  Ye  see  the  house  bees 
too  little  fer  manny.  'Twill  be  little 
throuble  we'll  have,  fer  there's  a  caperer 
coomin'  t'  sarve  the  brikfist." 

"  Phwat  did  ye  sa-ay  ?  Brikfist  at  that 
toime  iv  da-ay  ?  " 

"  Yis  ;  that's  phwat  they  cahls  ut." 

"  Phwat  toime  will  yez  be  havin'  dinner 
thin?" 

"  Faith,  there'll  be  no  dinner  the  da-ay, 
but  we'll  not  be  shtarvin'.  Himsilf  siz, '  Git 


Mary  Ann's  Trousseau.          173 

a  furrst  class  caperer,  an'  till  him  t'  give  us 
a  bang-up  fade  an'  d — '  Oi  mane —  '  niver 
moind  the  ixpinse  ! '  So  Oi  done  ut.  'Tis 
Briggs  we'll  be  havin'.  He  capers  fer  ahl 
the  shwell  payple.  There'll  be  eye-sthers 
an'  chickin  patsies  an'  lubster  sally  an'  san'- 
wuches,  an'  oice  crame — " 

"  Phwat  koind  ?  " 

"  Bricks,  wid  sthrawb'r'y  an'  vanilly,  an' 
mistache." 

Mrs.   Flanigan  stared  in  amazement. 

"  Phwat  in  the  na-ame  iv  sinse  do  yez  be 
havin'  bricks  an'  mistaches  in  yer  oice  crame 
fer?"  she  demanded. 

"  Aw,  'tis  in  the  sha-ape  iv  bricks,  an'  the 
mistache  is  a  koind  iv  grane  oice  crame," 
explained  Mrs.  Casey. 

Mrs.  Flanigan  was  silenced  but  still  be 
wildered. 

"  Thin  there'll  be  a  flowrist  t'  diccora-ate 
the  pla-ace,  an'— 

"  Gra-ate  da-ay !  here's  yer  man  coomin' 
hoame  t'  dinner,  an*  me  wid  not  a  pratie  in 
the  pot  yit !  "  and  Mrs.  Flanigan  made  hasty 
preparations  for  departure. 

The  front  door  opened,  to  admit  not  only 
Alderman  Casey,  but  Tom  Donovan,  who 
carried  a  large  package. 


174          Mrs.  Alderman  Casey. 

"  How  goes  it,  Mother  Casey  ?  How  are 
you  these  days,  Mrs.  Flanigan  ?  Where's  the 
bride  ?  " 

"  Here  she  is,  Tom  !  "  and  Mary  Ann  ap 
peared  in  the  doorway  in  a  distracting  apron, 
edged  with  a  tiny  ruffle  at  the  shoulders, 
and  stopping  just  short  of  her  well  shaped 
foot.  She  brandished  a  bread  knife  in  one 
hand  and  a  plate  in  the  other. 

Regardless  of  spectators,  Tom  swept  her 
off  her  feet  with  one  strong  arm,  and  disap 
peared  with  her  into  the  dining  room. 

"  Look  out  for  the  knife,  Tom  !  "  called 
Alderman  Casey  after  them,  at  the  same 
time  tossing  little  Nora  to  his  shoulder. 

When,  after  a  somewhat  lingering  leave- 
taking,  Mrs.  Flanigan  had  finally  departed, 
Mary  Ann  called  her  parents  to  the  dining 
room,  where  not  only  dinner  awaited  them, 
but  the  contents  of  Tom's  package  stood 
revealed. 

"  See  what  Tom  has  brought  me  !  "  cried 
Mary  Ann,  with  shining  eyes.  "  This  beau 
tiful  set  of  Shakespeare  !  "  and  she  caressed, 
with  loving  fingers,  the  handsome  bindings. 

There  was  a  slamming  of  doors,  a  shout  of 
laughter,  a  rush  of  heavily  shod  feet,  and  the 
room  seemed  suddenly  bursting  with  boys. 


Mary  Ann's  Trousseau.         175 

"  Golly  !  Ain't  they  fine  and  dandy 
though  !  "  exclaimed  Patsy,  seizing  one  of 
the  cherished  volumes,  and  turning  the  lea\  es 
swiftly,  in  search  of  pictures. 

"  Lemme  see  too  !  "  demanded  Mickey. 

"  Git  on  to  de  guy  wid  de  spinach  !  "  cried 
Johnny,  spying  a  portrait  of  the  bearded 
Lear. 

"  Lave  thim  aloan,  wid  yer  dirrthy  hands !  " 
came  the  maternal  command,  over  the  din. 
"  Gwan  an'  clane  yersilves  fer  dinner,  ivery 
wan  iv  youse  b'ys,  an'  be  quick  about  ut ! 
Here's  Larry  coomin',  an'  the  mate's  gittin' 
cowld." 

"  These  will  be  the  beginning  of  our  li 
brary,"  said  Mary  Ann,  with  a  lingering 
glance  at  the  books,  as  they  took  their 
places  around  the  table. 

"  And  she's  promised  to  read  them  all  to 
me,"  announced  Tom,  smiling  proudly. 

"  I  see  your  finish  !  "  remarked  Mr.  Casey. 

"  'Twill  be  betther  than  yours  thin,"  re 
torted  his  wife.  "  Ax  the  blissin',  Moike." 


Date  Due 


PRINTED    IN    U.S.* 


CAT.    NO.    24    161 


A     000  556  621     1 


